


Go Go Godzilla

by Cxmill



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ...because what he lacks in height he makes up everywhere else, Abusive Parents, Actually more of them are Titans lol, Atsumu is confused and horny, Bullied Oikawa Tooru, Coaches, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, F/F, F/M, Gen, HE, Iwaizumi is buff, Iwazumi is Mothra??, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry yall, Jealous Oikawa Tooru, Legs, Lev is Lev, Like, M/M, Oikaw Tooru has anxiety, Oikawa Tooru was abused, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Oikawa is Godzilla, Oikawa might have no arse but damn long legs daisy dukes makes a man go “shittykawa!”, Some of it, Tendou is Rodan, UNGH, Ushijima is Ghidorah, Why?, Why??, akaashi and Bokuto aren’t dating yet despite what it seems, also, babylonian Queen Mothra, babylonian king Oikawa, because I want Bokuto to suffer and snap, but dw, cam someone please get Oikawa to therapy???, did I mention how rich oikawa is??, don’t ask why this came to mind because honestly I don’t know, everyone else is human, figure it out kiddos, from Hajime, he does brave boy stuff and ugh, he is also really really rich, he needs a hug-, he topped, honestly Just Oikawa’s legs, i can’t tell yall it’s a secret but he, if you don’t hate Hajime’s gf by the end of this I’m doing my job wrong lol, it’s official I’m a slut for Bokuto with his hair down fight me, kinda???, kuroo accidentally had sex with Ukai three times, kuroo is lowkey jealous, lev, lev is, like fanom Bokuto buff, lol, lol Oikawa?? Happy?? Lol you thOU G H T, long story, magic muscle man, mcrip my boy, oikawa is so old-, oikawa kills Ushijima, short angry muscle man, text chat, time travel?, ushijima fucked up, yandere Akaashi, yellow dragon farmer survived, you will see other POVs but right now it’s mainly Oikawa mostly because yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:15:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26074027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cxmill/pseuds/Cxmill
Summary: When people asked him why he despised Ushijima with every fibre of his being he always replied in the same, aloof way “because he constantly nags me!” And “because he stalks me!”The staking part hope ever is of course, not true.But it’s been hundreds of years and he isn’t sure how much longer he can keep this secret for. Now plagued with the realisation that keeping his true form hidden in a human isn’t working as well as he planned, old foes and alias alike are begging to return and worst of all, Iwa-chan’s new girlfriend is making him loose all sense of rationality.While he deals with his problems he is also coming to realise that perhaps he really had bitten off more than he could chew, he can’t put a name for all these emotions and he hates it! All he wants is to crawl into Iwaizumi’s lap and be told everything is okay but of course this is real life and in real life you don’t always get what you ask for.Now a new threat is also arising in the form of one Kageyama Tobio, will Oikawa be able to keep his crown or will Kageyama finally beat him, crowning himself unknowingly as king of the monsters and accidentally cause the downfall of mankind and Earth herself?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Original Female Character(s), Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tesurou/Ukai Keishin, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Oikawa Tooru/Original Male Character(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 85
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I...I don’t know okay?

To say Oikawa was human was, at its best, a complete lie. He preferred his human form though because being a 984 foot tall iguana thing with black scales, brown eyes and large black spikes coming out of his back which glowed blue every time he shot out an atomic breath beam. His human form had pale soft skin, long legs, large brown eyes and soft floofy hair, he very much loved his skin, he took great care of it partially because if he didn’t put on his face mask, sheet mask then moisturiser his skin would harden and his scales would start to show through which he didn’t like. 

He had been living as human for the past eighteen years, he had spent most of his time underneath the sea in his temple that the humans had specially made for him, that was back when humanity and he had lived in peace. Rather embarrassingly, around two hundred and twenty years ago he had woken up from a couple of a couple billions of years long nap, deranged and unstable he had accidentally ruined most of Tokyo and some of its countryside...he hadn’t meant to but he woke up, confused and probably brain dead, he crawled out of the ocean and ended up stepping on big stone cubes, then the humans started to shoot at him and it actually hurt! So he retaliated but of course the humans didn’t like him so he ended up going back to his watery home underneath the sea foam and went back to sleep, only coming out to stuff his face with whales and dolphins. 

He eventually came back to the surface, surprisingly though he felt his body shift, he shrunk...by quite a bit! He had crawled out of what was left of his carcass and as it smoked behind him, causing the water to heat up to a boil he had crawled onto the sand beach and blacked out. He woke up in a white room, the bright light making his sensitive eyes wince, he learnt that he was in a child’s body, probably five years old and the language he spoke was about four thousand years old and no one spoke it so he had to be taught Japanese. He didn’t learn past nursery level though, the orphanage he went to didn’t care that he was physically eight and could only count to ten, say his name and ask basic questions. 

He eventually got fostered by a kind family when he was ten..before that the couples hadn’t been so kind, he got home tutored for a bit until he was at the same standard a ten year old was at, he even picked up a sport called volleyball! It was also the age where he met his best friend and possibly his biggest fan, Iwaizumi Hajime. 

Oikawa Tooru spent almost every day with Iwaizumi, he told the boy about ancient civilisations, their gods and their tales, the boy was captivated but it was always hid his interest with a swat to Oikawa’s head and a teasing name, Tooru of course didn’t mind this treatment, he knew he could obliterate the boy in a matter of seconds but he didn’t, he liked the boy too much. Iwaizumi always teased him for crying over moths but Tooru was reminded of Mothra, his beautiful mate who sacrificed herself for him, eventually Hajime stopped his teasing when he realised there was something deeper going on. Hajime’s obsession with beetles had first scared the shit out of Tooru, those small creepy crawlers that were just...ugh he hated to think about them! 

Eight years later found Tooru the captain on Aoba Johsai’s volleyball team, he was a setter and he had Iwa as his trusted ace, many would say that they had telepathy but Tooru felt it was something deeper, something ancient, something he hadn’t felt since the defeat of King Ghidorah. Being over 252,904,020 billion years old should mean he was somewhat intelligent but he spent most of that time asleep..why? Why the fuck not? I mean, there wasn’t much to do back then, raiding the world, eating animals, mating with Mothra...it all got boring after the first million of years or so, so he went to sleep instead. 

It’s probably why he was sitting in his room, nail varnish drying on his toes and fingers, LED lights glowing a soft blue hue, wrapped up in one of Iwaizumi’s Godzilla hoodies which he was rather smug about, the humans had made films based off of him! He opened his phone and went onto the captain’s group chat.

OiOikawa: yo we should have a meet up with all of our teams! Play some volleyball so we can get in some more practice! We could also mix up teammates! 

UshiUshi: yes, this is a great idea Oikawa. Here in Shiratorizawa we believe that teamwork is just as important as getting to know how to play with people of different abilities. 

OiOikawa: omfg if he is on my team I will actually rip my arm off and shove it down my throat so I can rearrange my organs and die. 

Litten: wtf? Are you alright? 

HoeHoe: sounds like a great idea! I’ll ask Akaashi! 

you’remydad: good idea Oikawa! Having the diversity of different players is a great way to broaden one’s horizon! 

Tutushima: what Dadichi said- 

OiOikawa: honestly I don’t even know but like, if Iwaizumi brings his girlfriend I will actually stab a bitch, that girl is feral! 

you’remydad:...what happened to Iwa-Chan???

OiOikawa: ugh don’t even get me started! 

OiOikawa: she just makes me wanna...fuckin...ugh!!!(┛`д´)┛

TuTushima: wow okay somebody wanna stab a bitch, we stan

Litten: were just gonna carry on sleeping on the fact that Oikawa lowkey just said he would rather swirl up his organs with his own arm than play with Ushijima

you’remydad: old news 

Litten: im fuckin-   
By  
Litten: okay then??????

HoeHoe: Akaashi asks if we have a place to stay? 

OiOikawa: I- I’d like to go to the beach or something? Water would be sexy, we could eat salty watermelons and play in the water and ugh, topless hot guys to seduce I mean like, what’s better? 

You’remydad: we won’t be going just so you can get your sexual needs met 

TuTushima: nah bro, gotta agree with Mr. Perfect over there, I wouldn’t mind playing with some hot guys and gals

UshiUshi: Shiratorizawa has a range of facilities that we could use, our teams could stay in the hot springs as well. 

TuTushima: sounds peng

Litten: dudes!!! We could all share a room!! 

HoeHoe: yaaaaasssssss

You’remydad: I believe that wouldn’t end well 

OiOikawa: as long as Ushijima is on the other side of the room then sure, I’d share a room with yall

TuTushima: this is gonna be so fun!!! 

HoeHoe: Akaashi is asking about travel, you said it’s at the beach right? 

UshiUshi: yes, the optimum facility would be either Aharen beach or Yonaha Maehama beach. 

You’remydad: aren’t those on islands? 

UshiUshi: yes but those are the places where Shiratorizawa owns a gym, hot springs and a couple of restaurants 

OiOikawa:...wtf? 

OiOikawa: how rich do yall need to be??? 

Litten: didn’t you try to get in there? 

OiOikawa: excuse you, I tried and I got in! Full academic or physical scholarship bitch! 

HoeHoe: why didn’t you go? 

OiOikawa: I saw Ushijima and decided it just wasn’t worth it! 

UshiUshi: that is a lie, you were there with your friend Iwaizumi and he opened his letter and seemed dejected, you opened yours and pretended to be dejected. 

TuTushima: tall boi throwing shade 

OiOikawa: Ushijima has anyone told you that you need to read the room????? 

UshiUshi: yes, Tendou has many times before although I do not understand how one can read a room, we are not even in the same room right now! 

OiOikawa: I- 

You’remydad: yall gonna give me an aneurysm 

HoeHoe: damn bro, planes are sick! 

Litten: Kenma wants to know how we will all pay for it? 

UshiUshi: well Shiratorizawa will pay for everything except the plane tickets, if you get them yourself then everything else will be free.

Litten: damn dude, this is gonna be lit! 

TuTushima: fuck yeah! 

OiOikawa: no matter how much I hate to admit this...it’s a good idea..

You’remydad: when will we go? 

UshiUshi: the teacher on duty says that next week is free 

TuTushima: fuck yeah! We gonna have so much fun 

Litten: we gonna get so drunk! 

You’remydad: no, you’re underage 

Litten: try me bitch 

HoeHoe: Akaashi said that in a weeks time would be best cause like, booking and telling people ‘n shit 

TuTushima: do you live with Akaashi? 

HoeHoe: no, I just sleep with him 

Litten: WHIZOQKEHXIOQNWHDK BOKU NO! 

TuTushima: fuckin Boku No Pico 

You’remydad: really? Right infront of my salad? 

————

3:42am

OiOikawa: KEHXOKANDJW IM STUCK SEND FUCKING HELP- 

TuTushima: Bitch, wtf?

OiOikawa: MY FOOT IS STUCK ON THE CEILING AND I CANT BEND MY OTHER KNEHSKWJD

Litten: wtf did you do????

OiOikawa: I SAW THE VIDEO OF THE GIRL STUCK AT WORK SO I FOUNF MY STILLETOS AND SWUNG MY LEG YO AJDBW IM STUCK HAAAAAAALP MEEEEEEHHHHG 

you’remydad:...I’m sorry what? 

OiOikawa: BDKANGDA HELP MEEEEEEE

Litten: Just ask Iwaizumi for help dude 

OiOikawa: no, he’s with his gf and plus he’ll just insult me...I’m not in the mood for getting insulted 

You’remydad: I’m actually worried for you 

OiOikawa: I’m fine lol, if it doesn’t kill me I’m chill 

You’remydad: that’s slightly worrying..is your foot still stuck? 

OiOikawa: yeah, I’m listening to the AOT soundtrack, I’ve got season 1 to 3 on my phone so I’m at least listening to some battle music 

You’remydad: pray tell me why you’re listening to SNK instead of..I don’t know...calming music? 

OiOikawa: calming music doesn’t block out the skeletons in my closet nor the sound of my parents 

You’remydad: everything you say worries me more and more 

HoeHoe: oooo~ parents getting it oooooooonnnnn~

OiOikawa: yeah no it’s not what you’re thinking 

HoeHoe: but- why else would they be loud? 

OiOikawa: honestly I don’t know what caused this shouting match, all I know is that if my father comes in to me wearing high heels and with my foot stuck he might actually just kick me out sksksks

Litten: Just ask Iwaizumi for help bro! 

OiOikawa: no! 

TuTushima: I’m lowkey watching this whole entire thing blaze on and honestly I’m so fed up with this shit, hold on bro 

OiOikawa: holy shit I think he just threw a plate   
———  
Private chat   
Terushima-Iwaizumi 

Titoshima: wake tf up Oikawa needs your help 

Iwaizumi: wtf do you want it’s 4am

Titoshima: Oikawa is stuck 

Iwaizumi: and how is that my problem? 

Titoshima: you’re like his best friend you dick 

Titoshima: go help him! 

Iwaizumi: why???

Titoshima: his parents are arguing, he is really freaking out dude 

Iwaizumi: ugh fine 

Oikawa was flushed bright red, he had given up on trying to tug his leg free. He was very much stuck. He hadn’t been expecting any help, in fact he had been preparing himself for the argument, he had planned out the packing, he could ask to stay with Kuroo since the man’s family was never home or he could live with Iwaizumi if push came to shove. The creaking of his window, a loud grunt and the thump of a body falling on his bed could just be heard over the screaming.   
“Holy shit, you really are stuck.”   
Iwaizumi’s voice floated to his ears, Oikawa looked shocked, why was Iwaizumi here? 

“Iwa-chan..what..why are you here?”   
Oikawa winced when pain twinged up his leg. 

“Terushima texted me, he was worried about you Shittykawa.”   
Iwaizumi snorted and pulled out his phone, he snapped a couple of photos of Oikawa who was in quite a lot of pain. King Ghidorah had done a lot of damage to him, especially his knee. 

“I-Iwa-chan! Mean!”   
Oikawa sobbed, he whined when his shaking leg began to hurt even more. 

“Fuck, crappykawa are you okay?”   
Iwaizumi placed one large hand on his waist and the other went to the back of his knee. 

“Iwa-chan it hurts!”  
Oikawa sobbed and shakily moved his arms to wrap around Iwaizumi’s neck. He pressed his face into the boy’s hair, nuzzling it softly, the strong musky scent of the Alma oil made him purr although he wouldn’t admit it, he smelt like good memories. He supposed the only reason he hadn’t started crying earlier is that he had no reason to cry, what was the point of crying if no one else saw, he was supposed to be strong and crying wasn’t a strong thing to do but at the sight of Hajime he just broke down. 

“Calm down Tooru, just...just hold on I’m gonna bend your knee, it’s gonna hurt but erm...I’ll give you a massage afterwards.”   
Iwaizumi promised and Oikawa nodded into his shoulder. When he felt Oikawa nod he quickly bent the other’s knee. Oikawa dug his nails into the skin of Iwaizumi’s back where he had slipped his hands under the collar of his t-shirt and tried to muffle a scream which came out as a whine and tears sparkled in his eyes, he effectively collapsed against the shorter boy who helped him over to his bed. 

“Tooru..Tooru are you alright? Do you want me to grab you an ice pack?”   
Iwaizumi sat down on the side of the bed, he gently pried Oikawa’s fingers off of his shirt but stilled and the pale boy whined loudly, it was a haunting sound really. He quickly stood up and opened the small freezer that Oikawa had in his room, he grabbed an ice pack and slammed it shit, he went over to the bed and placed the ice pack over his knee. 

“H-Hajime..give...give.”  
Oikawa whined and tugged at Hajime’s shirt, he slowly tried to lift it up over the boy’s head but he didn’t want to jostle his knee. 

“Okay okay hang on Tooru you dumbarse, don’t move too much.”   
Hajime slipped off his t-shirt, helped Oikawa out of his then slipped his own t-shirt over the taller boy’s head. It was something that had started when they first met, Oikawa had always liked to wear Hajime’s clothes, something about scenting or shit, Hajime never asked, he assumed it had something to do with his childhood before they met. He watched as Oikawa struggled with a hoodie..now that he got a closer look at it-

“Hey Shittykawa isn’t that my hoodie? I thought I lost this you arse!”   
Hajime huffed and flopped down on the bed, laying his arm over Oikawa’s chest but the other boy didn’t seem to mind, instead he just curled up a bit and hugged his arm close to his chest. 

“God damnit Tooru I didn’t get that ice pack so you could just leave it lying on your mattress!”   
Hajime grunted and grabbed the ice pack, pressing it to Tooru’s knee. 

“Cmon let go for a sec you idiot...that’s it, just raise your head a bit so I can slip my arm underneath- there.”  
Hajime now had Tooru nuzzled into his collarbone, his head was on top of his bicep, Hajime knew he wouldn’t feel his arm in the morning but whatever. He pressed his hand to the warm skin of Oikawa’s back which had become visible when the idiot had shuffled around. 

Hajime didn’t know how long he was there until he heard the gentle whisper of Oikawa.

“My knee doesn’t hurt anymore...the ice pack isn’t cold anymore either.”   
When Oikawa said his knee didn’t hurt anymore he actually meant it hurt like it usually did but the boy was right, the ice pack was warm. He threw the ice pack out of the bed and gripped around until he felt the familiar shape of his earpods in his pocket. 

“You wanna listen to something?”   
Hajime was asking because the screaming downstairs had escalated, he could hear things smashing and if he was being honest he didn’t want Oikawa to hear that shit. 

“Space.”  
Tooru began to kitten lick as his neck, shoulder and collarbone. If Hajime was being truthful he would say that he thought that Tooru had grown up around animals, he didn’t mean it in a mean way but sometimes Tooru, when he was really scared or tired, would start to act as if he waa an animal rather than a human. 

Hajime took out his headphones and placed one in his ear and one in Tooru’s. He opened his phone and clicked on the playlist which was labelled “Sleepy Space” which was filled with all of Sleeping At Last’s songs which Tooru had downloaded onto his phone one night without permission.

“Hajime?”  
Tooru whispered and he could feel his hot breath fan against his collarbone. 

“Yes Tooru?”   
Hajime whispered back, eyelids half shut. He gently twiddled with Tooru’s soft brown locks, he pressed his nose to the hair and breathed in deeply, the scent of peaches and roses filled his senses, he’d never admit it but he much preferred the smell of Oikawa’s conditioner to his girlfriend’s, she smelt like apples but he preferred Tooru’s much more natural scent. 

“Isn’t..isn't Ichiko going to get pissy because you’re here?”   
Hajime sighed and pulled Tooru closer, he placed one arm on his hip and the other one on the back of his head. 

“Oikawa...Tooru..do you really want me to go?”   
Hajime pressed his face into Oikawa’s hair again, the boy had a habit of being self-sacrificing which wasn’t always great for his mental health. 

“...I don’t wanna be alone.”   
Tooru whispered, he felt a wave of tiredness crash over him, the music was peaceful and the feeling of Hajime’s fingers in his hair was sending him to sleep. 

“You answered your own question dumbass.”   
Hajime chuckled and gently hummed along to the music, he pulled Oikawa’s head so his free ear was pressed up against his chest, he knew that if Tooru could listen to his heartbreak then he would calm down...it probably didn’t help that he also fell fast asleep did it? 

Oikawa woke up to an empty bed but the scent of Hajime was still thick in the air, he was blissed out to be honest, completely high on affection. He rolled over with a grunt and sighed, his window was wide open, Hajime was probably long gone. 

He pulled himself out of bed and stripped, pausing to press Iwaizumi’s t-shirt to his nose...it smelt so good, like home and love. Oikawa sighed and got into the shower, he cleansed his face, exfoliated everything, shampoo and conditioned his hair, brushed his teeth and when he got out he rubbed oil into his skin. He heard his phone ping and he opened it. 

Litten: if you guys were Pokemon trainers, what pokemon would you have? 

OiOikawa: Lunaala, Zoroark, Umbreon, Sylvion, Yveltal, Arcanine, ninetails, shiny ninetails, mimikyu, pidgies like a shit ton, tweet tweet bitch, charmander and a tyrantrum id call Iwa-chan ≧▽≦

Litten: honestly I’m not surprised 

You’remydad: are you unstuck? 

OiOikawa: yeah, one of you whores told Iwa-Chan to come help me and I fucking embarrassed myself 

TuTushima: he send me photos 

HoeHoe: what happened? 

OiOikawa: he found the hoodie I had stole from him 

Litten: HA SUCKER GET RECKT 

OiOikawa: I hope you choke to death on a grape 

Litten:...what? 

HoeHoe: yo bro swallowing a whole grape hurts! 

You’remydad: you all scare me 

You’remydad: and annoy me! It’s 6am! 

OiOikawa: awe daddy, are you gonna have to spank me? 

TuTushima: hdkanxjiqnsyas queen get it on 

Litten: oml

HoeHoe: what’s spanking? 

You’remydad: sksksksks pls stop 

OiOikawa: forgive me daddy for i've been naughty uwu (≧﹏ ≦)

You’remydad: please…just stop 

Litten: get some help 

TuTushima: I don’t think he would mind so much if you were Suga

OiOikawa: ahyxiwndLOL 

UshiUshi: yes, father and Suga do show some rather intimate feelings towards one another 

OiOikawa: Bitch, your wig has been snatched, even Ushijima knows the tea 

You’remydad: but...my I don’t like Suga like that, I like someone else 

TuTushima: sksksksks whAt? wHo

Litten: yall don’t get to say that when I walked in on you slamming into him, deep scratched down your back and bruised covering his neck so his white skin looked like hickies instead 

You’remydad: we weren’t fucking! 

Litten: oh I’m sorry, I forgot that you and him only make love 

You’remydad: we weren’t having sex!!

Litten: so your dick up his arse doesn’t count as sex? Damn okay then, Oikawa come around tonight we gonna be doing Netflix and Chill but dw, it’s not sex so it ain’t gay 

OiOikawa: fuckin *wheeze*

You’remydad: oml you’re all so embarrassing! I’m gonna go now, my team needs me 

UshiUshi: what happened? 

You’remydad: Hinata got stuck in the basketball hoop 

OiOikawa: haha mood 

TuTushima: everyone tell your team about the trip! 

Minecraftfox: ok 

UshiUhsi: hello minecraftfox

TuTushima: sksksks I forgot about you 

HoeHoe: yay Kita!!!! 

Litten: ew a whore 

Minecraftfox: ew a bishreksual

Litten: I will literally stab you with a plastic spoon

OiOikawa: wtf- 

Snek: my team can’t come, they’ve booked something, not sure what 

You’remydad: they’ve?? You’re not sure???

Snek: yeah they didn’t invite me lol, something about how only couples can come 

HoeHoe: that’s not nice! 

Snek: I know right! But it doesn’t matter, at least I won’t miss classes 

UshiUshi: yes you will, you shall come with us! 

Litten: I dOnt want the slimy bastard to come!

UshiUshi: be quiet fool, adults are talking 

OiOikawa: McRip 

TuTushima: I want Suguru to come! 

HoeHoe: yeah we love you Suguru!

Minecraftfox: yes, come 

Snek: awe shucks you guys I’d love to but I don’t think they’d allow me to bring Elizabeth with! 

HoeHoe: Elizabeth? 

Snek: my python, my ESA

UshiUshi: here in Shiratorizawa we can help you, we shall have a car ready that shall get on the ferry. You would have to come earlier of course, we would arrive maybe a day or two after you 

Snek: I- shit guys you’re all gonna make me cry 

Litten: Good, weep 

HoeHoe: Bro! Stop being rude!

Litten: Sorry Bro, you know how he tickles my pears 

TuTushima: more like sucks your balls 

Litten: fuck OfF that was OnE tiME 

Snek: and we were drunk! 

OiOikawa: whatever yall, we gotta get to class 

UshiUshi: he speaks truths

OiOikawa: I will literally beat you with a sandal 

Oikawa sighed, he was currently early to practice, the day had gone by quickly and more unless uneventful. Hajime hadn’t walked him to school nor had he seen the boy around which wasn’t unusual now that he had a girlfriend, she always managed to take the boy away from him.  
He had been around for a very very long time, he remembered walking through the gardens of Babylon, his wife on his arm, the overwhelming scent of ripe fruits and colourful flowers, Mothra, his greatest wonder. She had picked a nectarine from a tree and had gently bit into the flesh, juice dribbled down her chin and she had moaned in delight. 

“I love you my dear, for now and forever.”   
She had looked surprised, large turquoise eyes had studied him with confused precision.

“Shut up you fool.”   
Mothra slapped him around the ear and despite the gentle abuse he knew she felt the same way. He definitely knew it when he saw her for the last time. 

Oikawa rubbed his eyes, wiping tears away with his thumb, he missed his wife but he knew that she wouldn’t want him to be sad, not now, not thousands of years later. He sighed and covered his face with his hands, he smiled ever so slightly when he saw the small Godzilla’s that were stitched into his jumper..it wasn’t actually his jumper, it was Hajime’s, they had swapped awhile ago so Hajime’s sleeves had little aliens on them, it was a joke but they never brought up switching back. 

“Oikawa.”   
A woman’s voice broke his peaceful silecence, his head whipped around and he frowned. Black hair cut into a bob with a fringe, eyeliner sharp enough to cut the tension, soft plump cherry red lips, short, curvy like a hour glass, soft supple pale skin and beautiful large green eyes. 

“Ichiko.”   
Oikawa gave her a strained smile, she was kind and polite to everyone except him, it pissed him off but he also understood, he was the same when someone would hit on Mothra. 

“I want to talk about last night.”   
She huffed and crossed her arms, obviously pissed off, Oikawa simply shrugged. 

“What do you want to know?”

“How about we start with the fact you made him get up at four am.”   
She glared at him and Oikawa just grinned at her.

“I needed help, he said he would come, he didn’t need to.”   
He chuckled gently, he knew his ears were probably burning pink.

“Ugh, of course he had to come help you! You’re fucking needy and you piss him off all the time so I don’t understand why he even puts up with you!”   
She hissed and he flinched, the insult hurt more than it should, he was an ancient creature and so why did that hurt? 

“I didn’t force him to do anything! He chose to!”   
He retaliated but he knew his argument was weak, he should kill her for her disrespect but Hajime really liked her and he wouldn’t hurt his gets friend. 

“Next time dont fucking ask him for help! You’re pathetic! All you are is a burden! You’re nothing more than a weight holding him back like the toxic person you arse!”   
She prodded her finger into his chest, he ignored the flash of depression that flared up his chest, he had heard those words before in many different situations. Well, technically she wasn’t exactly wrong about the toxic part, his atomic breath was well..atomic. 

She raised her hand to slap him but stopped and Tooru had a good idea as to why, the blue glow from his eyes and mouth insinuated something, of course she didn’t know what but something. 

Ichiko’s draw dropped and she looked at him with large, scared eyes, he had no remorse, he didn’t like her. He could feel the heat of his atomic breath crawl up his throat and into his mouth, it was burning out his tongue but that didn’t worry him, it would heal. 

He let out a closed mouth roar, the sound was made to be felt instead of heard but that didn’t stop Ichiko from hearing the rumble, she stumbled back and raised a shaking finger to him. He felt the atomic breath cool down but he held a useless tongue in his mouth, it was burn off completely, his eyes and mouth went back to normal which was good though. He heard footsteps approaching. 

“You’re a monster Oikawa Tooru! A freak! I hope you die!”   
She spat them turned around and ran off. Oikawa raised his head and locked eyes with Matsukawa who looked shocked, not scared which probably meant he hadn’t seen his little light show. 

“Oikawa…”  
Matsukawa started but Tooru shook his head, the useless tongue felt heavy in his mouth. He held out his hand and Matsukawa took it, the boy was dressed in his volleyball uniform, that was correct, they had volleyball practice. Matsukawa rubbed gentle circles into his skin with his thumb, Oikawa appreciated it. Matsukawa always found him like this, the curly haired boy was the first to find him when he was crying his heart out on an old swing set, Matsukawa had been on a run and recognised his captain even though Tooru had been curled up, slowly swinging. He had walked over to his crying captain, sat down next to him and had taken his hand, Matsukawa didn’t need to ask what was wrong, Iwaizumi had introduced his girlfriend that day and that’s all he needed to know. 

Matsukawa led Tooru to the gym, opened the door and gently sat him down on one of the benches, he watched with a mix of horror and confusion as Oikawa spat out his dead tongue, the new one having grown back like a bamboo shoot, all tender and fresh. His mouth tasted like toxic waste. 

“Do you have any gum?”   
Oikawa asked quietly as if he was too scared to breath their blanket of quietness, as if it would shatter with the simplest of sound.

“Yeah, watermelon.”   
Matsukawa handed him two cubes and flopped down on the floor, now that Oikawa looked at him he kinda looked like a dragon. He bit into the two cubes of gum and his senses were overwhelmed. He felt tears involuntarily tumble out of his eyes. 

“This is how it feels to chew five gum!”   
Oikawa whimpered, opening his mouth and sticking out the new tongue which was a boyish pink, like a budding rose. 

“You got some sensitive taste buds there Captain!”   
Matsukawa gave him a cheeky grin and Oikawa replied with a simple middle finger. 

“Shut it you dragon looking…soggy..sock.”  
Oikawa had a bad habit of coming up with insults on the fly, probably not the best idea but whatever. 

“Dragon huh? I think I’d make a sexy dragon! Smoke dragon or something cool like that.”   
Matsukawa nodded thoughtfully and Oikawa laughed hard, shaking his head and whipping his eyes. 

“Hey Matsukawa?”  
Oikawa looked up at his teammate. His tone dropped to one of sadness. 

“Yeah?”  
Matsukawa raised an eyebrow at him, probably at how sad he sounded. 

“Are..Are we friends?”   
Oikawa pulled his knees to his chest and crossed his arms, he nuzzled into the crook of his elbow, peeking at the curly haired boy over his sleeve. 

“Of course we are..I know we tease you but we’re friends.”   
Matsukawa looked slightly worried now, he shuffled closer and gripped Oikawa’s calf, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“You don’t get paid to be my friend right?”   
Oikawa squeezed his biceps, he dug his nails into the flesh but he didn’t pierce it, he never did, he knew what colour would leak out of the puncture wounds, that atomic blue blood. 

“What? The fuck kind of queastion is that? Of course I don’t!”  
Matsukawa looked personally offended by the question and Oikawa wasn’t sure if he felt guilty or not.

“Sorry...it’s just that my mother texted me last night, she and my dad got into a fight and so she told me that my dad had been paying the Iwaizumi family for Hajime to act as my friend...don’t tell him I told you though, he doesn’t know I know.”  
Oikawa sighed and shifted one hand so it could play with Matsukawa’s curls. Matsukawa leant up into his hand, staring up at the ceiling.

“Iwaizumi doesn’t like you for the money, he likes you for you.”  
Matsukawa’s words should’ve been words he believed but his mind was doubtful, of course though he didn’t think his parent would put Iwa-chan under the torture of hanging out with him just for money. 

“Mmm, I think I might have to agree with you there. My darling Iwa-chan, my prince, my beautiful husband could never ever be persuaded to ever hang out with me just for the sake of money!”   
Oikawa threw himself over Matsukawa’s back, lounging there like some tired rich flappet with too much money and a flare for excitement. 

“Wow back to yourself huh bitch?”  
Matsukawa snorted but didn’t push him off, the boy has in multiple occasions proved he didn’t hate Tooru as much as he claimed he did. 

“Shut up you whore, I’m being cheated on with some c grade soggy ham sandwich of a slut let me have my moment.”  
Oikawa huffed and started to put more of his weight of the taller boy, he knew the blackette could handle it, he knew most of the team could handle it since he made sure to keep flexibility in every team warm up. 

“Wow, fair enough though, she is a shitty person when she isn’t with Iwaizumi.”   
Matsukawa commented as if it was an after thought. 

“Yeah, she’s been on my back for a effectively breathing near Iwa-chan.”  
Tooru sighed, a melancholy sound really. 

“Next she’ll be hounding you to drop the Iwa-chan.”  
The blackette snorted as if this was all funny but Oikawa didn’t find it funny, what he would find funny would be Ichiko’s organs hung up like tinsel.


	2. I have the power of god and anime on my side-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Multiple emotions went through me for this one-

TuTushima added Godzillasimp to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

Godzillasimp: how do I get my neighbour to turn down their fucking music???

Litten: what’re they listening to? 

Godzillasimp: some English song, hold up I’ll Shazam 

Godzillasimp: Bang Bang by will.i.am and A Little Party Never Killed Nobody by Fergie 

TuTushima: Great Gatsby~ 

Godzillasimp: what? 

Litten: what’re they doing exactly? 

Godzillasimp: blasting it through their surround sound system 

Litten: knock in their door??

Godzillasimp: can’t, I’d have to walk up his long arse driveway 

Litten: wait hold up, are they rich??

Godzillasimp: yeah, mansion 

Godzillasimp: they’ve got a bamboo wood that surrounds most of the house but the back garden opens up into the mountain, big forest of trees. They’ve got a small river that goes through the back garden with a bridge 

Litten: bruh who lives there??? I wanna marry them- 

TuTushima: aren’t you rich?? 

Litten: nOt ThAt RiCh 

Godzillasimp: Shittykawa 

Litten:..I- 

TuTushima: BXIAJHXJW NOW YOU HAVE TO MARRY HIM AHAH 

Litten: ew no 

UshiUshi: he should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa 

You’remydad: he- 

TuTushima: hoe really hid his money from us 

Godzillasimp: part of his house is more modern bc a storm ruined some of it but most of it is still traditional 

Godzillasimp: they have a massive house off in some island, all modern and shit 

Litten: how do you know????

Godzillasimp: they bring me on holiday with them 

Litten: hxiajjxjw makes sense why you put up with him now

HoeHoe: ????

Litten: the money lol!

Godzillasimp: I-

Litten: You’re not correcting me 

Litten created a new chat  
Litten added you’remydad, UshiUshi, TuTushima +2   
Litten called the group Without Trash 

Litten: tell us the truth hoe 

Godzillasimp: you can’t tell Shittykawa 

Litten: we won’t lol 

Godzillasimp: my family was payed for me to be his friend when we were kids 

Litten: oof...you still get paid???

Godzillasimp:....

You’remydad: guys this is cruel 

Litten: okay but do you still get paid

Godzillasimp: yeah 

Litten: Holy shit 

Godzillasimp: Listen you really can’t tell him! 

Litten: bruh how many proper friends does he have 

Godzillasimp: I..I don’t know 

You’remydad: guys seriously stop! It’s not any of our business! If anything this is fucking horrible! 

Godzillasimp: I didn’t even know till recently! 

UshiUshi: who else do you see him talk with

Godzillasimp: errr, Matsukawa 

UshiUshi: add him, we shall ask 

Godzillasimp:...fine 

Godzillasimp added Babayaga

Litten: bruh what tf is that nickname?

Babayaga: ew it’s a slimy cat 

TuTushima: ew it’s a coffin 

Babayaga: ew it’s a monkey 

HoeHoe: how is Babayaga a coffin? 

Babayaga: ew it’s a skunk 

HoeHoe:..I’m not a skunk 

HoeHoe: do I really smell that bad? 

HoeHoe: should I get a new soap? 

Babayaga: what? No no no 

Babayaga: it’s just your hair with the black and white 

Babayaga: skunk has black and white 

HoeHoe:...so do owls 

Babayaga: okay okay you’re an owl 

HoeHoe: yay!!

You’remydad: I want death 

Babayaga: ^ 

Babayaga: anyway tf you soggy bitch. You just gonna brood around and make money from being Oikawa’s friend huh?

Babayaga: well too late fuck tard I’m his best friend now 

UshiUshi: gossip 

TuTushima: do you mean tea? 

UshiUshi: tea 

TuTushima: omfg

Litten: oh shit yh i forgot about that 

Litten: so like, you don’t get paid???

Babayaga: nah, you see I’m a real bitch not same fake hoe 

Godzillasimp: I’m not fake! 

Babayaga: tell that to the cheques you whore 

Godzillasimp: I didn’t know!!

Godzillasimp: wait- how do you know???

Babayaga: Oinkawa

Godzillasimp: how does he know 

Babayaga: mother dearest 

Godzillasimp: oh shit- 

TuTushima: oinkawa- 

HoeHoe: ^

Litten: ^ 

UshiUshi: tea 

Godzillasimp: bruh stfu you just want him at Shiratorizawa 

UshiUshi: yes 

Godzillasimp: have him 

Babayaga: how about nO

UshiUshi: yes 

Babayaga: I’ll make sure your corpse is mistreated 

Litten: i- 

HoeHoe: that’s kinda scary ngl 

Litten: Bro i agree

HoeHoe: bro…

UhsiUshi: I’ll be the corpse that stares at you 

Babayaga: they all do 

UshiUshi: I can’t die 

UshiUshi: I am 

UshiUshi: inevitable 

Godzillasimp: die 

UhsiUshi: no u 

TuTushima: ushi you alright there? 

UshiUshi: yes 

UshiUshi: Tendou has taught me how to reply to certain text messages 

UshiUshi: it is rather interesting 

Godzillasimp: how tf are you in Shiratorizawa? You’re like, stoopid

UshiUshi: I will choke you 

TuTushima: ugh dAdDy 

You’remydad: better you than me 

Babayaga: excuse you Iwa is our daddy

Babayaga: big arms type of daddy 

Babayaga: big muscle type of daddy 

Babayaga: pls punch me in the face type of daddy 

Babayaga: deep voice type of daddy

Babayaga: heavy glare heavy dick type of daddy 

Godzillasimp: S T O P 

Babayaga: fucks you senseless type of daddy 

Babayaga: ties you up type of daddy 

Babayaga: shame he isn’t financially secure 

Godzillasimp: literally go did 

TuTushima: would like to tap that but Oikawa would fucking socker punch me if I bReAthed at you 

Godzillasimp:..why? 

Babayaga: thick and thicc type of daddy 

HoeHoe: I am thicc daddy

Litten: im rich daddy

Babayaga: you’re the bad boy daddy 

Litten: then whose our rich daddy? 

Litten: big UshiUshi, he is the tol daddy 

Babayaga: oikawa isn’t daddy but he is rich

TuTushima: sugar bottom 

Litten: he is a bottom 

HoeHoe: probs a power bottom 

UshiUshi: he has no arse 

Babayaga: neither do you 

Godzillasimp: I- 

Godzillasimp: why we be talking about Oikawa tho

Litten: because apparently I can’t be the rich daddy 

TuTushima: Iwaizumi if you marry him you’ll be financially stable 

TuTushima: become a sugar baby or smthn 

Babayaga: omFG YES 

Godzillasimp: NO 

Godzillasimp: N O SPELLS NO

Babayaga: he’d totes buy you Gucci and all the expensive shit 

TuTushima: probably a new car like a lambo

Babayaga: and would let you use his private jet 

TuTushima: hzjajxuijs I would drop my pants for him 

Litten:...okay but I could do those things!! Why can’t I be rich daddy 

TuTushima: does your family own an island in the Caribbean

Litten:...we have a house there 

TuTushima: exactly Bitch 

Babayaga: he was showing me the new house they bought in santorini although it’s in his name 

TuTushima: my neck my back lick my dicky and my crack 

Babayaga: wOw

TuTushima: I just wanna be riCh

BoogieWoogieWoogie

TuTushima: @OiOikawa can I be yo sugar baby pls

OiOikawa: erm no 

TuTushima: why noooooot???

OiOikawa: only one person can be my sugar baby 

Litten: lol 

HoeHoe: can I???

Minecraftfox: no- 

Snek: why can’t you just give money to all of us?

Minecraftfox: I only want one sugar daddy and it’s Atsumu 

OiOikawa: the blond twin??

Minecraftfox:...yes

OiOikawa:...he has a big dick though ngl

Minecraftfox: how do you? 

Litten: I invited them all to a party 

Minecraftfox: oml 

Minecraftfox: that didn’t end well did it??

You’remydad: I went to that…

You’remydad: I saw someone pick up the hoover and beat another person with it 

OiOikawa: oh yh 

OiOikawa: I remember seeing you 

OiOikawa: you were snogging Suga though so I didn’t say hi 

You’remydad: hajxjwjxjiskwndjak-

UshiUshi: I’ll fucking stab your parents 

OiOikawa: please 

Snek: dude 

Litten: Bro 

HoeHoe: Bro 

Minecraftfox: dude 

UshiUshi: dude 

Godzillasimp: Shittykawa no 

OiOikawa added Babayaga to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

Babayaga: hey sluts 

Babayaga: I told them about the house 

OiOikawa: that’d be why they’re asking to be my sugar baby huh 

Babayaga: lol sorry 

Babayaga: not sorry 

OiOikawa: ushksjx 

Litten: i wanna see your house 

OiOikawa: you really wanna come around???

You’remydad: I just watched Kageyama scream for two minutes straight at a wasp

Snek: why? 

You’remydad: Tsukishima said if you scream at a wasp it’ll give you honey 

Snek: but bees give you honey…

You’remydad: I know…

Minecraftfox: is your team just retarded or something 

OiOikawa: Swageyama Tobiyolo has a volleyball for a brain confirmed 

You’remydad: tf

You’remydad: swageyama tobiyolo??

OiOikawa: aight so you know how I went to middle school with the little shit 

You’remydad: yeah, fuckin traumatised him or some shit 

OiOikawa: bruh, it’s a long story, do you wanna catch these hands 

You’remydad: jegxisnbx

You’remydad: Just explain!!!

OiOikawa: yes daddy dearest 

OiOikawa: okay so, the little shit though Iwa-Chan was in a gang so he came up with a street name to impress him, Swageyama Tobiyolo

OiOikawa: he quickly learnt that Iwa-Chan was in a street gang he was just in the Godzilla Fanclub 

Godzillasimp: stfu you worthless hoe

OiOikawa: bruh at least I’m not a Virgin-

Godzillasimp: ha?

OiOikawa: I’m sorry Iwa-chan! Please don’t abuse me!!!!

Godzillasimp: I dare you to repeat that Shittykawa 

OiOikawa: (*´ー)ﾉ(ノд`)

Godzillasimp: hdowjxuiab

Godzillasimp: ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

OiOikawa: (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

TuTushima: tf 

Babayaga: wow 

You’remydad: Noya and Tanaka do the same thing….

OiOikawa: ROLLING THUN D E R 

you’remydad: please not you too- 

You’remydad: I witnessed a double rolling thunder yesterday 

You’remydad: he got the ball

You’remydad: then took out Tanaka 

OiOikawa: Ugh if only Shinji knew how to do Rolling Thunder- 

TuTushima: GIYSBWKDJAKJXIWJ

TuTushima: IM SO FUCKINH GAY HOLY SHIT 

OiOikawa: tell me about it- 

TuTushima: I WAS OUT SHOPPING AT MY UNCLES SHOP AKD——-

TuTushima: CUTE GREEN HAIRED BOY APPEARED 

TuTushima: HE JUST- 

TuTushima: HE WAS SO FUCKING CUTE AND SOFT SPOKEN AND HE WAS WEARINH THIS CUTE OVERSIZED HOODIE AND A PAIR OF SHORTS BUG IT STARTED RIANING AKD I GAVE HIM MY UMBRELLA

TuTushima: HE ASKED ME MY NAME AND I COUFLNTJAIJXJWH I WAS SO CONFLICTED 

TuTushima: I DONT CARE IF MY UNCLE LAUGEUD AT KE OR TAHT I HAD TO RUN HOME IN THE RAIN 

TuTushima: HE COMPLIMENTED MY TO GUE PIERCING AND I- 

OiOikawa: what what name did you give him???

ThTushima: Daichi’s…

You’remydad: oh so you’re why Yamaguchi asked me why I had shrunk, dyed my hair and got piercings 

TuTushima: you know him???????????????

You’remydad: yes…

TuTushima: CAN I HAVE HIS NUMBER????

You’remydad: is this lust or do you actually like him 

TuTushima: the idea of fucking him didn’t come across my mind actually- 

TuTushima: I just wanna take care of him and take him out places and pamper him and shit…

You’remydad: that was

You’remydad: so pure I-

You’remydad added Gucciflipflops to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

Gucciflipflops: hello? 

Gucciflipflops: Dadichi what is this? 

You’remydad: you’ve gained a fan 

Gucciflipflops:...really?

You’remydad: yes

You’remydad: @TuTushima say hello 

TuTushima:....

TuTushima: Icantimscared-

Litten: shut it you slimy bitch this is the gc 

TuTushima: aghidkwuxokajxkab

Gucciflipflops: are you alright? 

TuTushima: AHHH DADDYISWTGIMGONNADIE

you’remydad: calm down 

Gucciflipflops: daddy? 

You’remydad: don’t ask..

Gucciflipflops: I thought only Suga could fall you daddy

HoeHoe: hA exposed-

TuTushima: hicuteguyfrommyunclesshop

TuTushima: ihopeyoumadeithomeokay-

Gucciflipflops: I did!! Thank you for the umbrella!!

Gucciflipflops:..you think I’m cute?

TuTushima: aight I’m gonna go dive off a cliff now 

Gucciflipflops: eh??

Gucciflipflops: no don’t!

Gucciflipflops: I didn’t mean it in a mean way!

Gucciflipflops: it’s just that...not a lot of people compliment me like that

TuTushima: I don’t understand..you’re fucking beautiful!

Gucciflipflops: shizjenxkjakdka 

Gucciflipflops: thank you

Gucciflipflops: FFFFUCK

you’remydad:...I- 

You’remydad: 20 laps around the gym 

Gucciflipflops: ASAHI SENT ME A PICTURE 

You’remydad: so?

Gucciflipflops: IT WAS FOR NOYA 

You’remydad: this is Asahi he literally would never send anything inappropriate 

OiOikawa: oooo spicy~

Gucciflipflops: he-

Gucciflipflops: well

Gucciflipflops: tbh I’m surprised Noya can walk-

You’remydad: wait what- 

Litten added Asesus to BoogieWoogieWoogie

Gucciflipflops: congrats???

Asesus: I am so so so so so sorry 

Asesus: god is good god is good god is good 

Gucciflipflops: I’ve never...seen one so large before…

OiOikawa: holy shit-

TuTushima: have we found our big dick daddy??

HoeHoe: I thought I was big dick daddy…

UshiUshi: you’re thicc daddy if my memory serves me correct

You’remydad: Ugh 

Asesus: I’m so sorry Yamaguchi, that was for Noya I’m so sorry please forget you ever saw that- 

Snek: explain Green brother 

Gucciflipflops: it was a...well..two shampoo bottles 

OiOikawa: *le gasp* big dick daddy indeed!! 

Litten: BWAHAHAHA

HoeHoe: OHOHOHOHO

You’remydad: Asahi wtf?

Asesus: I’m sorry!!!

You’remydad: Asahi it’s 2am

You’remydad: why??

Asesus: igothorny 

You’remydad: did Noya blackmail you?

Asesus: not exactly..

You’remydad: explain 

Asesus: he said he’d send me a picture of him wearing one of my t-shirts if I did it 

Asesus: but then I accidentally sent it to Noya and Yamaguchi 

Asesus: now he won’t stop laughing at me 

You’remydad:...

You’remydad: is it too late to retire??

OiOikawa: yes 

You’remydad: shit 

Oikawa huffed and pulled up his bank account on his phone. How many captains were there again? Seven over all, ¥609’379 would be the price for him to treat all the captains to the Cleopatra facial from Gold Elements…but it was in Tokyo and so he would probably have to book a hotel for what? Friday, Saturday, Sunday so they could all go shopping since how could they not? Then maybe going out to dinner Saturday night? Yeah that’d work. 

Captain GC

OiOikawa: so i was watching Ladylike 

OiOikawa: now who wants to get an expensive facial done with me? 

HoeHoe: yes!!

Litten: if you’re paying then count me in

You’remydad: we have a sleep over planned? 

TuTushima: I smell Oikawa spending money on us?? I’m in

UshiUshi: am I invited?

OiOikawa:..yes 

UshiUshi: then I shall come 

Minecraftfox: sure

Snek: yayay!!! New friends!

OiOikawa: okay so we’ll get the train to Tokyo on Friday, go straight to the Āman hotel where I’ll book the suites for us

OiOikawa: on Saturday we get out facial then shopping then dinner 

OiOikawa: Sunday we relax, maybe the spa, swim or use the gym, possibly more shopping or sightseeing 

OiOikawa: Monday we go back 

You’remydad:...you’ll pay for all of this????

OiOikawa: I’ll pay for dinner, hotel, facial, train tickets and I’ll treat you guys shopping 

You’remydad: why?

OiOikawa: I’m like Gatsby rich, I have nothing to do with all this money 

You’remydad: I kinda planned something with Suga Saturday night though 

OiOikawa: then bring him 

UshiUshi: Tendou is asking if he can come 

OiOikawa: he can 

Litten: and kitten?

HoeHoe: and Akaashi???

OiOikawa: I- 

OiOikawa: sure why not 

TuTushima: zhakjxjwj 

TuTushima:...can I invite-

OiOikawa: yes you can invite Yamaguchi

TuTushima: yay!

OiOikawa: maybe Iwa-Chan would want to come… 

Snek: ask him you hoe 

Minecraftfox: Atsumu...shall come 

OiOikawa:...ok

You’remydadd coach says he wants to talk to you about this 

OiOikawa: make a new GC


	3. I shoved a whole entire bag of jellybeans up my arse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abuse warning, it appears effectively straight after the you see Oikawa’s mum texting to the counting, after the its just his caring for his wounds and talking to Hianta!

You’remydad added Theoriginal, UshiUshi, Minecraftfox +4 to and Coach 

You’remydad: everyone this is Karasuno’s coach, Ukai 

TuTushima: holy shit that’s my uncle 

TheOriginal: language brat 

OiOikawa added plskillme to and Coach 

Plskillme:...why? 

OiOikawa: thot 

Plskillme: thot 

OiOikawa: everyone this is Aoba Johsai’s coach

Plskillme: my name is Sadayuki 

Litten: since we’re adding our young coaches 

Litten added Who? to and Coach 

What?: what do you want Kuroo 

Litten: ew you injure my emotions in such a way 

Who?: hello everyone, my name is Manabu and I’m one of Nekoma’s coaches. 

OiOikawa: woah

OiOikawa: Grammar 

Plskillme: shush you thot, adults are talking 

UshiUshi added Tanji Washijō to and Coach 

Tanji Washijō: hello Ushijima 

UshiUshi: coach 

OiOikawa: oh god 

UshiUshi: everybody this is Shiratorizawa’s coach, Tanji Washijō 

HoeHoe: guys 

HowHoe: Nekoma’s other coach, the Nekomata guy looks like the fat cat from the cat film interview 

Litten: what?

HoeHoe: the one where the crocodile got the part 

Litten: i- 

Litten: Are you on crack bro? 

HoeHoe: honestly bro? 

HoeHoe: the only thing keeping me going is my love for you bro 

Litten: Bro..

HoeHoe: bro I got you some broses

Litten: Bro i got you some dafodudes

HoeHoe: bro!

Litten: Bro! 

Who?: oh god, they share one brain cell. 

TuTushima: True 

HoeHoe added HootHoot to and Coach 

HootHoot: hello I am Takeyuki Yamiji, Fukurodani’s coach 

Litten: is this grunkle stan? 

Minecraftfox: yes

Minecraftfox added Ooohmi to and Coach 

Ooohmi: Kita? 

Minecraftfox: I’m going to be pampered 

Minecraftfox: I wish to bring Atsumu 

Ooohmi: my name is Oomi Tarou, I am the coach of Inarizaki 

OiOikawa: shit both Nekoma and Inarizaki are kinda hot 

Plskillme: Jesus fuck Oikawa 

Plskillme: can’t you be normal for once???

OiOikawa: you obviously don’t know who I am 

OiOikawa: at least I haven’t had sex with one of them 

Litten: shut your mouth you insolent whore 

TuTushima: exposed-

Who?: I...Kuroo why? 

You’remydad: who? 

TheOriginal: aight I’m out 

Litten: it was legal..

Who?: oh thank god 

HootHoot: I’m so glad our team is somewhat normal 

Ooohmi: I have to agree with you there 

Tanji Washijō: I am somewhat worried 

OiOikawa: hey Ukai-san where you going hm? 

You’remydad: Jesus Christ 

TheOriginal:....I wasn’t aware-

Litten: it was only one time- 

UshiUshi: oh to be Jared, 19

HoeHoe: ^

Minecraftfox: ^

Snek: ^ 

OiOikawa: tea sis 

Litten: shut it 

OiOikawa: who topped?? 

Litten:...me 

OiOikawa: AHAHAHAHAHA

HoeHoe: GET REKT KARASUNO 

You’remydad: Ukai-san im severely disappointed 

TheOriginal: I’m...oh god I can never look at anyone again 

Who?: how many times? 

Litten: 1

Who?: that’s the fattest, juciest lie I’ve ever heard 

Who?: tell me the truth or you’re not going out with your friends

Litten:...3

OiOikawa: holy shit 

HoeHoe: wtf

Plskillme: when? 

Litten: first time was when I was out clubbing 

Litten: second time was a hook up when I was horny

Litten: third was after the practice match 

OiOikawa: oml

OiOikawa: whore 

Litten: shut it 

Litten: you’ve gotten mowed by Atsumu, me and your bodyguard 

OiOikawa: sksksks 

OiOikawa: at least I didn’t fuck Karasuno’s Captain 

Litten: ahoxhaikxja

“Tooru”  
The floor seemed to shake. Or perhaps it was just him. 

The teenager turned around slowly, fear flooding his veins and suddenly he was that boy on the beach again. Confused. Scared. Lost. Lonely. 

Suddenly he was the boy in the orphanage with people shouting in w language he could barely understand. The boy who was scared of nuns with their crosses and white robes which disguised the monsters beneath with their large, painful hands.

Suddenly he was the boy who was taken to a big house with a man and a woman. The woman treated him kind enough. The man was distant and spat words of poison. 

His mother stared at him, a stern look twisted into his face. 

“96/100...what went wrong hmm?”  
She tilted her head, black hair falling gentle across her sickly pale skin. 

“I-I”  
Tooru started but he couldn’t speak, the truth was that he didn’t recognise some of the words, even though he was smart he didn’t understand why learning was important for him, he was effectively an immortal god. 

“Stand up.”   
She commanded, voice like ice. Tooru stood up, placing his phone down on his desk. She grabbed the phone and picked it up. 

Coaches 

OiOikawa: hello, this is Tooru’s mother

OiOikawa: as he has failed his recent test he shall not have his phone till Monday, nor shall he be attending club activities or school until these grades improve

Plskillme: hello Mrs. Oikawa, my name is Sadayuki Mizoguchi

Plskillme: I am one of Aoba Johsai’s coaches for the volleyball team 

Plskillme: I was informed that Oikawa got 96 on his test, that is not a fail, that is a pass ma’am 

OiOikawa: well it’s just not good enough 

OiOikawa: how can I listen to someone so unprofessional 

OiOikawa: your username is “plskillme”

OiOikawa: I shall be reporting this to the headmaster 

Plskillme changed their name to AJCoach 

AJCoach: I’m sorry ma’am but I do not appreciate your blatant lies and disrespect 

AJCoach: now, why don’t you tell me the real reason why Oikawa won’t be attending clubs and school because it obviously isn’t studying 

OiOikawa: what do you know?

OiOikawa: you’re a Highschool sports coach

AJCoach: a Highschool sports coach with a masters degree in psychology and previous practitioning in child psychology 

OiOikawa: fine, he shall be at school tomorrow but I will be reporting this situation to the headmaster 

AJCoach: okay

Tooru wasn’t sure what had happened but she was fuming. She grabbed him and pulled him through the house, Tooru followed silently, he knew better than to get into an argument with her. 

She stormed through the garden and opened the outhouse door, she threw him in and he stumbled a bit, almost falling to the floor. She undid her belt and slipped it from her skirt. 

“Kneel with your back facing me, take off your shirt.”   
Her commandments were law, he followed every one of them even if he didn’t want to. He felt the fear rule over him despite him being a Proterozoic age old creature. 

The first connection of leather against his skin always shocked him, it was stupid, he knew that but no matter what he could never quite seem to prepare himself for it. 

The second one seemed to hurt more, it usually hit the same spot as the first lash. 

“Count out loud.”  
And even if he struggled to breathe normally he knew defying her would make it worse, he knew crying would make it worse, he knew doing anything but taking a deep breath and counting out the numbers would make it worse. 

“Three”

“Four”

“Five”

“Six”

“Seven”

“Eight”

“Nine”

“Ten”  
He could feel his blood drip down his back, he knew it would be that odd lime green colour that most lizards had, she dropped what he assumed was his phone onto his back then slammed the wooden door shut, he could hear the click of the padlock being shut leaving him in the shed overnight. 

He reached out in the dark underneath the large shelf, he gripped the handle of the first aid kit he kept under there, he restocked it every Saturday night so that I would be full for whenever he needed first aid which he couldn’t get in his house, abusive parents was he right? He popped it open and used the flashlight on his phone to find the surgical spirit. He opened the bottle and poured the liquid over his back, biting back a yelp of pain but he had to disinfect it. 

He put the bottle down and clenched his teeth, tears involuntarily dripped down his face. Next he picked up some dressings, he said some but it was more like a fucking pillow sized amount of dressing, enough to cover his back. He slapped on the dressing gently, they wrapped it up in bandages before slipping his shirt over everything because it was cold. He looked down at the box and rummaged around.

“Fuck, I forgot the savlon! Oh whatever, the surgical spirit will last for now.”   
He laid down on his front, he wasn’t going to touch his back for awhile, sure he healed faster than humans but like, he still got injured due to this human flesh. 

BoogieWoogieWoogie 

OiOikawa: technically godzilla should have lime green blood since his mouth and dorsal fins appear blueish green 

OiOikawa: he would have a high level of Biliverdin in his blood causing the pigments and the green blood 

Godzillasimp: wouldn’t he have blue blood though? 

OiOikawa: elaborate 

Godzillasimp: since he had gills that indicates the amount of time underwater, this means that he spends more time underwater than he does on land

Godzillasimp: the blue would come from a copper rich protein called hemocyanin 

Godzillasimp: it carries oxygen from the lungs to the bloodstream and then to the cells in octopi 

Godzillasimp: it does better in cold climates with less oxygen pressure, that being the depths of the ocean 

Godzillasimp: it also freely floats in the blood unlike hemoglobin which is bound to the red blood cells 

Litten: if we’re going down that route then wouldn’t Godzilla either have purple or colourless blood? 

Litten: although hemerythrins, purple blood, are usually invertebrates it would make sense to an extent

Litten: he would have three times as much iron, the oxygen binds by Fe-O-Fe 

Litten: Hemerythrin is a non‐heme iron protein that serves as an oxygen transfer or storage protein in several marine invertebrate phyla

Litten: each protein subunit binds two iron atoms by histidine, aspartic acid and glutamic acid side-chains 

UshiUshi: godzilla? Who is that? 

Godzillasimp: I- 

OiOikawa: look what you did you made Iwa-chan cry you bitch 

UhsiUshi: I’m sorry, I had no idea you were family 

Godzillasimp: Ugh I wish 

OiOikawa: Godzilla and Birdesus are our lords and saviours

UshiUshi: Birdesus? Godzilla? 

TuTushima added ReDEeR to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

TuTushima: @ReDEeR come get your mans he can’t tell difference from tip to tail 

UshiUshi: Tendou?

ReDEeR: yessss Wakatoshi-kun?

UshiUshi: who is Godzilla, who is Birdesus 

ReDEeR: I don’t know about Birdesus but Godzilla is from the Godzilla franchise, it’s a film, he is made up 

UshiUshi: ohh makes sense 

Oikawa felt his eye twitch, the “Bitch, is you blind?” Meme was going around his head, he wasn’t fucking made up! He was lying down in a shed because he doesn’t want to stand up!..okay yeah that sounded pretty pathetic. He could feel his wounds slowly start to stitch themselves back together, he had learnt that wounds done by humans and creatures weaker than him would heal but any wounds connected to emotional trauma or dealt by someone stronger than him would take awhile to close up. 

Tooru sat up slowly, trying to keep his back as straight as possible, he had been told once that what he was doing was something he called ignorance, the psychologist on the other hand told him he was doing this as a form of dealing with trauma and honestly he wasn’t surprised, the effects of this night would probably surface in a couple of days time when someone said something mean and he would break down sobbing. 

Private message OiOikawa and Sunata 

Sunata: grand king??!!

OiOikawa: chibi 

OiOikawa: what’s up??

Sunata: I’m- 

Sunata: so you know how I’m dating Kageyama??

OiOikawa: yes?

Sunata: well you see

Sunata: I was crying behind the gym 

OiOikawa: why were you crying? 

Sunata: I saw a car that looked a lot like my dad’s around town 

OiOikawa: oh shit 

Tooru has net Hinata way before the practice match, back in the orphanage he met a kid who was briefly brought there, he shared a room with Tooru. Bright red hair, sun kissed skin and amber coloured eyes which should’ve sparkles with childlike innocence but instead they were dull and the bruises that marred the boys skin told the story that never slipped from his lips. 

Hinata left about two weeks later after his home had been fully investigated, they found no abuse in the home despite the bruises and the night terrors Hinata would have almost every night. You see, nightmares are bad but night terrors are worse, the monsters in your dreams follow you into real life and Tooru used to spend every night just singing to him, any song he could remember. 

Hinata was a nice enough kid, quiet around others but when around Tooru he brightened up like the sun but when he left they didn’t meet each other again, that was until they met each other on the court. Tooru remembered Hinata and Hinata kind of remembered Tooru, they shared numbers and had been in contact ever since. 

Sometimes he didn’t think Hinata was human. He didn’t mean it in a bad way but one night Hinata woke up, he wasn’t screaming but he had this sharp look in his eyes but worse of all was the slit pupils, Tooru hadn’t seen any humanoid being with that look. He saw it again when some kid threatened them in the lunch que, he still remembered those worse Hinata had uttered.

“If you’re going to kill us, then do it.”  
The look on his face was innocent but the look in his eyes held bloodlust immeasurable, since then Tooru could never be sure if Hinata was just a human. 

Sunata: it’s okay though 

Sunata: I don’t think it was him 

Sunata: mum says he is still in America 

OiOikawa: oh thank fuck 

Sunata: anyway 

Sunata: I was crying and then Saltyshima turned up and I though “oh shit he gonna make fun of me”

Sunata: but like 

Sunata: he didn’t??????

OiOikawa: what did he do? 

Sunata: he sat down next to me 

Sunata: offered me a tissue 

Sunata: then patted my head and walked away and I????

Sunata: am I in love??

OiOikawa: fuck maybe babs 

Sunata: shit 

Sunata: but Kageyama…

OiOikawa: you can have a crush on more than one person at a time ya know 

Sunata: yeah…

Sunata: okay well talk to you tmrw

OiOikawa: bye ( -3- )

Sunata: ❤️❤️


	4. I won’t hesitate bitch-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I’m so sorry it’s so short!
> 
> I wanted tension and the last line was just so juicy I couldn’t ignore it! One of the future chapters will be form Hinata’s point because I’m a slut for some good angst and I’ve been listening to McCafferty and the song Fentanyl gave me a really really good idea and I can’t just not write it ya know??

The next day found Oikawa standing on the side of the court, t-shirt sticking to his skin, the heat didn’t help either. He felt like he was dying, he just wanted to dive into the cool water of the ocean and let himself be himself again, he wanted to feel the water against his scales, he wanted to float on his back and have birds land on him. 

“Oh yeah, guys, we’re going on a training camp next week with Karasuno, Johzenji, Fukurodani, Inarizaki, Nekoma and Shiratorizawa.”   
Oikawa said, fanning himself with a wind up penguin fan. 

“Oi Iwa I think Oikawa has heat stroke cause he just said we have a training camp with.”  
Hanamaki covered Kyoutani’s ears.  
“Shiratorizawa” 

“I heard it as well.”  
Matsukawa grumbled from where he stood under the AC. 

“No it’s true. We’re going to the beach and everything from Monday to Saturday. We’re going to Aharon.”  
The team stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Don’t worry I’ll pay for your flight tickets. Shiratorizawa is paying for everything else. They’ve got hot springs.”   
He held his T-shirt up and let the fan cool down his chest. Why did today have to be so fucking hot? His guard was out collecting his snake and iguana because apparently Tooru wasn’t allowed to miss more school. 

“Jesus Shittykawa, did you organise this without the coaches?”  
Hajime grunted and half fell, half sat down next to him, brooding as always. 

“Coaches knew about it, it’ll be fun plus it’s a great way to get insight on the other teams.”  
Tooru laud over the top of Hajime, stretching out. Hajime grunted but didn’t push him off despite the heat, Oikawa was always could to the touch and in some cases wouldn’t be able to get out of bed or really move when it snowed, the team had a joke about him being cold blooded but none of them knew how correct they were. 

“Mngh don’t move Shittykawa, I might sleep like this.”  
Hajime grumbled into the soft brown locks that curled gently around his face. Oikawa always took the best care he could for his hair. 

“Mmm Iwa-chan you’re really warm!”  
Oikawa groaned but didn’t move, he was a cold blooded creature and so when it was too cold for him to move he would just curl up next to Hajime, he used to do it a lot as a kid but now he didn’t do it as much. 

“Then get off if you’re so put off.”  
Hajime stated and started to move his hands but Tooru glared at him and so he put his hands back around the taller. 

“Shut up.”  
Tooru nuzzled his neck, it was too hot to play volleyball for any of them, Tooru, although hot felt like an ice pack. 

“Don’t start licking me idiot.”  
Hajime whispered, Tooru could feel his friend’s grin on his neck. Tooru rolled his eyes and bit Iwaizumi’s jaw, not hard or anything but enough to feel like a gentle pinch. 

“Oi What was that for?”   
Hajime grunted, giving Tooru a soft glare.

“You always bite my cheeks when I’m eating!”  
Oikawa stuck his tongue out, making a bleh sound as he did so. 

“That’s because they’re so fat they look like pork buns idiot.”  
Hajime squished Tooru’s cheek to emphasise his point. 

“Oi lovebirds. You said we’re going on holiday yeah? What are we gonna do about schoo work huh?”  
Hanamaki leant over them, a disapproving look on his face.

“...study?”  
Oikawa wrested his head on Hajime’s chest, ear pressed to the firm muscle, he tapped out Hajime’s heartbeat with his finger. 

“Shittykawa now everyone can just absorb knowledge like you okay?”   
Hajime gently slapped his shoulder, rubbing it after.

“Sorry sorry I forgot! We can get the teachers to email us and shit..besides shouldn’t you guys be studying anyway?”   
He glared at his team, he was always on top of things like this, he was like the mother and Iwa was the dad. Ha. If only. 

“Ugh fine, we’ll email our teachers!”  
Matsukawa groaned, if he was an animal Tooru was pretty sure he’d be a sloth. 

“Oh yeah Shittykawa, Hanamaki and I were thinking about getting a manager.”  
Hajime gently rubbed circles into his back. 

“Oh? Who are you thinking of?”   
Tooru grinned widely, the idea of a manager didn’t seem too bad. 

“I was thinking of Ichiko. She likes volleyball plus is outgoing. She is organised and I think she’d be a great fit!”  
The way Hajime’s eyes sparkled and that stupid little grin he got when he talked about her made Tooru’s heart twinge, he didn’t know why it hurt. He just wanted Hajime to himself, was that too much to ask for? 

“W-well I don’t know..does she have any previous experience? It’s not like we’re some team for fun, we’re aiming for nationals Iwa-Chan…”  
Tooru would be lying if he said he thought she would be a bad fit. She was intelligent and ruthless, he knew her organisation skills were incredible and he knew she wasn’t going to joke around but at the same time he hated her. 

“Shittykawa you know I wouldn’t’ve said anything if I didn’t believe she could be useful! She’s friend with Karasuno’s manager who is helping her out.”  
Hajime just looked so desperate, he never talked about Tooru while wearing that expression. 

“I mean...I get that but like, it’s coming so close to nationals and I-”  
Tooru was cut off by Hanamaki.

“What do you have against her? You’re always like this when Iwa brings her up! God just get over yourself Captain, just because Ichiko likes him and not you!”  
Hanamaki snapped, he never was usually like this but what had driven him to this level of anger? Tooru didn’t know. What he did know was that he felt heat bubble in his throat, he couldn’t let the humans see him like this. Oikawa pushed off of Hajime and stood up.

“I have nothing against her, my focus is on our team and that is all.”  
His response was probably cold but he had to run out. He slipped into the changing room then he locked himself in a shower stall. He felt claws burst through his nails, scales ripping through his skin, heat rising up and bubbling like magma in his throat, eyes burning with pain as the radiation dried out his eyeballs. 

He scratches at the plastic, easily tearing through it like butter. He opened his mouth and felt the heat leave him, the plastic warped and dripped under his grip. He smelt the burning plastic, he felt his eyes fall out of his head, blood dripping down his eye sockets and down his face.

Tooru wasn’t sure how long he was there until he could see again. He groaned and rolled his shoulders, hating the way his body popped, was he getting old? Tooru walked out the shower and shut the door behind him, as long as no one saw the state of the bathroom then he was fine! He took off his t-shirt and changed it for a new one, the old one was covered in blood and the back was ripped open by his dorsalphins. He took a deep breath in then walked back to the gym. 

“Sorry everyone I just popped to the loo.”  
He grinned and waved at his team, he looked around and it occurred to him that Mad Dog wasn’t there.

“Where is Mad Dog-chan? I’m sure he was here today!”  
He looked around the room again, worry sparked up in his heart. 

“Oh? The tennis ball idiot went to the bathroom not long after you.”   
Yahaba replied, looking at Tooru with a big grin. 

“Oh? Did he?”  
Fuck, he hadn’t heard anyone come in but then again he was too busy going atomic. He span around and made his way back to the door but Kyotani walked through, fear evident on his face. 

“C-Captain.”  
Kyotani’s hands shook, his eyes were wide, he knew, shit he knew. 

“Mad Dog-Chan! Can I talk to you?”   
He stormed towards the boy, grabbed his wrist and yanked him back into the changing room. He threw the shorter boy against the wall, he glared down at him, anger rolling off in waves.

“I-I..Captain what the fuck was that? D-did you do that?”  
The blonde faintly gestures to the shower stalls, he could still smell the burning plastic.

“Did you see the damage?”  
Oikawa snarled, he pinned the boy in place with his arms, claws digging into the plaster.

“Erm...y-yeah.”  
Kyotani pressed up against the wall, looking past his shoulder, obviously too afraid to meet his gaze. 

“Fuck.”  
Tooru groaned, he was stuffed.

“Look, you speak a fucking word of this to anyone and I’ll rip your eyes out, shove them down your throat so you can watch as I rip your carcass open...kapiche?”  
He didn’t like being angry but sometimes it was really needed, especially when situations like this arose.

“I-I won’t!”  
It appeared Kyotani was so scared he developed manners! How amusing! 

“Good!”  
Oikawa grinned widely and threw him a peace sign, trying to smoothen out the tension he had created.

“Can I ask you a queastion?”   
The blonde mumbled, looking down at the floor shyly.

“Sure! I’m your amazing senpai would will always be here for you Mad Dog-Chan! I’ll answer anything you want!”  
Oikawa grabbed his hands and bounced up and down on his toes, a dopey grin on his face.

“Ugh, all I was gonna ask you was what the fuck are you? No human could do something like that can they? I ain’t stupid.”  
The boy growled and struggled slightly, Oikawa sighed and stood up straight, he should’ve guessed this queastion was coming.

“Well...I’m godzilla”


	5. Whoever said that snorting icing sugar was good was definitely wrong-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa decides to screw up literally everything because he had to prove himself and now the media think of Godzilla plus he might’ve found Atlantis because I was watching a video...
> 
> Anyway, my main music for this whole fic is literally any song from McCafferty

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”  
Kyotani growled at him, they were stood on a river bank with some drinks from the 7-11. Kyotani obviously didn’t believe him and Oikawa was dying to just tell someone. He had himself a secret for so long that it was clawing to get out. 

“What can I do that’ll prove to you I am Godzilla?”  
He was standing in the water, his t-shirt was in a pile next to his gym bag with his shoes and socks, the shorts stayed on though, like he was going to wonder around naked in front of Kyotani of all people. 

“Tch, do the roar, if you do that and the atomic breath I’ll believe you.”   
Mad Dog grinned at him smugly, he probably thought he had caught him out but Tooru wasn’t about to give up. 

“If I roar the titans will reply.”   
Oikawa smiled, eyes crinkling with amusement, he was their king and so as his followers it was their duty to reply to his call, he was their alpha. 

“..do it anyway, it’s not like you’re really Godzilla.”   
The blonde did take a couple of steps back however, it was a good thing, he didn’t want the boy getting hurt. 

He dug deep inside of him, grabbing around for that primal shift he needed. He clasped it in his hands and yanked as hard as he could. Skin tore to make way for scales, nails were pushed out in favour of claws, dorsal fins broke through skin and stretched out into the air, human teeth fell out only to be replaced with sharp fangs, skin tore to form gills on his neck. Heat bubbled deep down in his lungs, the heat was painful, like he was throwing up magma.

He heard the familiar voom as his atomic breath charged up, he puffed out his cheeks and waited until his throat clicked, the valve had to close..well it wasn’t really a valve but he wasn’t sure what else to call it, the gateway to his radioactive organs?

He opened his mouth and the heat tore loose, it singed the grass and boiled the water, he knew it wouldn’t hurt any of his organs since he was resistant to the levels of heat and radiation his body produced, humans though? They could very well die if they were in his blast zone. 

When the scorching heat ended he threw his head back and let out a roar, a sound that he had been holding in for so fucking long, he was Oikawa Tooru. He was Godzilla.

The roar trailed off and Tooru stumbled back a bit, he felt freier. He turned to Kyotani who had fallen to the ground, mouth agape.

“Was that good enough?”   
Tooru laughed lightly, accompanied by a backtrack of titan’s roars from over the earth, most closer to him than he had realised. Tears rolled down Tooru’s cheeks in relief? Why was he crying? He didn’t understand the emotion but he felt light, as if a weight had dropped from his shoulders.

“Holy fucking shit you’re actually Godzilla...Godzilla is real, I’m standing in front of the Godzilla...fuck Godzilla is my volleyball captain what the fuck?”   
Kyotani’s brain seemed to kick into gear, after he spoke a surprisingly loud roar chimed through the air, loud because it was close, probably in this prefecture! 

“What the fuck? Was that another Titan? Holy shit Godzilla and the Titans are real!”  
Kyotani jumped to his feet just in time for another roar to birth its way into the sky, Tooru recognised this one, Rodan was in this prefecture as well.

“That was Rodan, the one before though..I’m going to have to guess it was Quetzalcoatl.”  
Tooru climbed out of the water, threw on his shirt, grabbed Kyotani by the arm and dragged the babbling boy away from the river bank, they couldn’t be seen around this area, not with the Titan’s calls most likely exploding probably everywhere on Earth and all because he had to prove himself.

“..oh, well that was Ghidorah.”   
Tooru snarled as another roar sounded through the air. He pressed up against the wall of the alley and rubbed his hands over his face.

“So how old are you? Godzilla is like a bajillion years old which means you’re like a bajillion years old right?”  
Kyotani was smiling widely, looked like he and Iwazumi both fanboyed over the Godzilla franchise.

“I’m actually 252,904,020 billion years old so not a bajillion.”  
Tooru snorted, running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh so you’re an old man.”  
Kyotani snorted, obviously finding the idea hilarious.

“Yes I suppose I am. I’m the oldest Titan after all.”  
Tooru looked up at the sky, he was the oldest living creature on this planet.

“So mr. Old guy, what advice can you give me?”  
Kyotani’s smile was malicious and Tooru actually chuckled, this one was an odd one.

“Mmm, well I suppose it’s that people are fickle, much like a candle in the wind. No matter how hard you try to protect the flame it will blow out, humans are like that. You run off of intelligence and instinct, you pretend you care for others and everything but many people don’t care about what you can’t see. You become numb to bad news, you inflict pain on others without being able to take it but humans cannot be alone, no animal should forever be alone. Life will become incredibly pointless, you experience things but without drive, this abandonment will push you to your wits end.”  
He took in a deep breath and scrunched up his nose.

“Fuck that’s sad...give me something good.”  
Kyotani punched his shoulder.

“Fine, you humans dream with such incredible want, you plan out your lives as if getting out of bed a minute earlier would change your life but you cannot be sure as you cannot change the past without this time being the consequence, you past has been planned out but the future? The future is unknown. It is not worth knowing because if the future is known then the future is established and therefore not ours to create so instead of always looking towards the future look around you and take time to focus on the now.”   
He slapped the human on the back and took off, giving him a wave instead of a proper goodbye. 

BoogieWoogieWoogie

You’remydad: okay so 

You’remydad: don’t kill me but 

HoeHoe: what did you do

Litten: is this role swap??

TuTushima: I think I’ve fallen through the mirror 

ReDEeR: did I just get sent to a parallel universe 

Godzillasimp: GUYS DUD TOY FUCKING JUEST HEAR THAT YOG USELESS SOUTS 

UshiUshi: yes I did 

TuTushima: holy fuck I- 

HoeHoe: HEY HEY HEY 

HoeHoe: sounded like Godzilla lol

Godzillasimp: I KNOW PLUS THE OTHER ROARS???? 

Asesus: I think we should all just go to church and pray 

Gucciflipflops: HXIAJXIKAJS GODZILLA!!!!

Godzillasimp: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Babayaga: I was walking home along the bank and then this blue tunnel of something shot down and heated up the water 

Minecraftfox: I was unaware Godzilla was a real creature 

Snek: lololol did you see him??

Babayaga: no I did not sadly 

Godzillasimp: but that was definitely his roar like no ist her creature on this planet even had a toar like that omfg what is Godzilla is actuoally rwal 

TuTushima: calm down before you type-

ReDEeR: but the other roars? Are these the other titans 

Godzilla: I think so!

Godzillasimp: I definitely recognised the first one as Godzilla’s 

Godzillasimp: the first one I’m not too sure about but the second one was Rodan 

TuTushima: what about the others??

Godzillasimp: not too sure but the last one sounded like Ghidorah 

Gucciflipflops: Ugh ew he killed Mothra 

Gucciflipflops: he is a fuckhead 

UshiUshi: what if he didn’t want to but he had to 

Godzillasimp:):&-&:&/&:&.8-909388,@‘ 

TuTushima: I think Iwa Just had a heart attack 

OiOikawa: actually I’m the only one who can call him Iwa you soggy hoe

Babayaga: I once watched Oikawa bite someone who called Iwaizumi Iwa 

OiOikawa: Iwasten 

Babayaga: feral 

Litten: lol

HoeHoe: I- 

WhoWho: bokuto-san I do believe you head butted the mirror because it scared you yesterday 

HoeHoe: AKAAAASHIIIII!!!

HoeHoe:...you promised you wouldn’t tell 

WhoWho: I apologise Bokuto-san

HoeHoe: huh me to make it better!

WhoWho: of course Bokuto-san 

ReDEeR: @UshiUshi why can’t we be like thaaaaaat???

UhsiUshi: I apologise I am out running at the moment however If you so wish I will turn back and go to your dorm 

ReDEeR: yes <3<3

UshiUshi: 3>

Asesus: oh- 

TuTushima: who here isn’t interested in men?

Boba: me 

Babayaga: me

OiOikawa: lies I saw your folder of Hanamaki’s arse

Babayaga: oh shit I’ve been bamboozled 

Godzillasimp: I’m not sure 

You’remydad: ??

Godzillasimp: well like I’ve got a gf

Litten: gxiajhdiaja

HoeHoe: whxjkaoziqbs

TuTushima: sihwjxiajs

Godzillasimp: what??

Litten: i thought you were gonna date Oikawa ngl- 

Godzillasimp: what? No 

Babayaga: okay but yall are koalas 

Godzillasimp: I- 

Godzillasimp: @OiOikawa come deal with this shit you clingy bitch 

OiOikawa: but Iwa-Chan you loooooooooove my cuddles!!! 

Godzillasimp: lies

Babayaga: not true 

Babayaga: he gets really really fucking mellow when Oikawa lays on him 

Babayaga: it was so hot today we couldn’t actually play volleyball but try Iwaizumi clung to Oikawa like no ones buisness 

Godzillasimp: he is cold hearted therefore cold blooded and is like an ice pack 

OiOikawa: rUde 

Godzillasimp: I once watched him kill a spider and leave its carcass there so no more spiders would come 

OiOikawa: IT WORKS 

You’remydad: you should treat bugs like you want to be treated 

OiOikawa: killed without hesitation 

You’remydad: nO

Babayaga: the worst is when Iwaizumi holds on even when Bitch boy is singing 

Litten: bruh

WhoWho: can he not sing? 

Babayaga: yes but it’s what he sings 

You’remydad: can’t be as bad as Sugawara he started screaming the lyrics to Mr. Watson because he saw a spider

Babayaga: I- 

Babayaga: no

OiOikawa: shut up you emo tree no one cares 

Litten: i do 

TuTushima: I do 

UshiUshi: if he came to Shiratorizawa he would be able to use our state of the art music facility 

ReDEeR: I once saw semi and shirabu getting it on in one of the recording studios 

ReDEeR: that or they were killing each other lol

HoeHoe: oh oh oh what does he sing??

Babayaga: it’s called The Hearse Song but the one by Rusty Cage and it’s honestly terrifying 

Babayaga: one time on a team sleep over I went to the kitchen to get water and I just hear 

Babayaga: “AnD tHe fLaMeS RiSe uP tO dRaG yOu dOwN iNtO tHe FiRe wHeRe YoU WiLL DrOwN yOuR SkiN MeLtS oFf aS yOu DeScEnD  
aNd SaTan TeArS yOu LiMb fRoM LiMb yOuR sUfFeRiNg WiLL nEvEr eNd”

Babayaga: then I just see Oikawa with like a second fucking head and for a fast second I though he had twisted his head around to look at me-

OiOikawa: Stahp

Babayaga: and the fucker grins at me! Have you ever seen Iwazumi grin??? It’s like Kageyama’s but like worse 

Babayaga: then I see four arms and I though he had horns so I ran screaming-

Godzillasimp: oikawa bullied me into wearing a face mask 

OiOikawa: lies you love my face masks because I see you rubbing your fingers over your face afterwards 

Godzillasimp: I-

Litten: is Aoba Johsai like okay??

Litten: are yall possesed??

OiOikawa: now that you say that 

OiOikawa: Kunimi kept on staring at nothing during practice last Wednesday 

OiOikawa: it wasn’t like zoning out though 

OiOikawa: it was like the random cat stare thing where he would just stop even while playing 

OiOikawa: worst thing is I went to lock up and I just see him staring at the shadows in the gym right 

OiOikawa: then he just screamed and ran straight past me 

OiOikawa: didn’t even fuckinh realise

Babayaga: oh shit yh 

Babayaga: I was chatting with Kindaichi and he said that Kunimi kept on laughing at the shadows

Godzillasimp: he tried to talk to me about the “girl in the corner” but there was no one there 

Babayaga: he doesn’t remember anything the

Litten: Holy shit 

HoeHoe: that’s kinda scary….

OiOikawa: it got even worse when on Thursday he came into practice and just didn’t look at that corner at all

OiOikawa: as in he objectively avoided it

OiOikawa: he refused to play when our team was facing the corner 

OiOikawa: then come Friday he didn’t remember a single thing 

You’remydad: you guys are not okay

Asesus: did he say it was a young child by any chance 

Godzillasimp: yh

Godzillasimp: he told me the “young girl” seemed lonely and she wanted to play 

Godzillasimp: I had a heart attack when he said it 

Asesus: demons usually appear as young children 

Asesus: usually because the human instinct to protect young kicks in and so they can trick humans 

Gucciflipflops: erm

Gucciflipflops: Asahi-san why do you know this?

Asesus: because I once thought Noya was possesed 

Asesus: turns out he was just really horny 

You’remydad: I- 

Gucciflipflops: wow 

Litten: oh so like Yaku!

WhoWho: Yaku would steal your knee caps if he knew you said that 

Snek: rip kneecaps

Litten: stfu

Minecraftfox: why do you two dislike each other so much? 

Litten:...none of u business bitch 

HoeHoe: they did the frickidy frackady one time when they’re we’re drunk 

Minecraftfox: did something bad happen? 

Snek: from my part it was all consensual 

HoeHoe: Kubroo?

Litten: yeah same here 

TuTushima: so what’s the tea?

ReDEeR: ^

UshiUshi: ^

OiOikawa: ^

Babayaga: ^

Gucciflipflops: ^

You’remydad: ^

Snek: he is scared of snakes and I have a large tattoo of one 

Litten: IT STARED AT ME OKAY

Litten: IT WAS ALMOST AS BAD AS GETTING IN HIS BED AND LYING ON A FUCKING ONE 

Snek:...you slept on Elizabeth?

Litten: no i got off of her

Litten: why would I sleep on an animal??

Litten: who sleeps on animals??

Babayaga: oikawa does 

Godzillasimp: shut it

OiOikawa: awe are you embarrassed that you like hugs?? 

OiOikawa: Iwa-Chan my window is always open ~ (•3-)

Godzillasimp: no thank 

Godzillasimp: oh to be Jared, 19

You’remydad: I just watched Hinata stare at Tsukishima for the whole time he was insulting him and then afterwards Hinata grinned and smiled

You’remydad: why is he broken?

Babayaga: ew sounds like it’s 

OiOikawa: ✨ L O V E ✨

You’remydad: but Hinata is dating Kageyama 

You’remydad: plus Yamaguchi is now with Tsukishima 

TuTushima: what-

Litten: fuck not my ships 

Gucciflipflops: eheh yeah sorry I didn’t tell you 

TuTushima: omfg I’m so sorry I was hiting on you andyoualreadyhaveaboyfriendimsosorrypleaseforgivemeididntmeantomakeyoyuncomfortable

Gucciflipflops: no no no don’t worry about it!

Gucciflipflops: if anything I’m actually really flattered 

Gucciflipflops: it was a nice revelation to know someone could like me

TuTushima: whixjakzkak

TuTushima: you’re actually amazing! You’ve got such pretty eyes and you’re tall and you’re so kind plus you are so understanding you’re a literal ray of sunshine and you have some of the best manners plus your smile is amazing!

TuTushima: anyone who doesn’t like you is missing out if I’m being honest 

TuTushima: wait- 

TuTushima: ah fuck I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like flirting I meantitasaconplimentimsorryheck-

Asesus added Rollin to BoogieWoogieWoogie

Rollin: GUYS

Rollin: UOU WINT GONNA FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

Babayaga: wh a t

Rollin: I WAS OUT GOING ON A WALK AND I GO SEE THIS BALL OF ORANGE SO I CAREFULLY APROACH IT AND IT WAS FUCKING HINATA 

You’remydad: ???

Rollin: NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND 

Rollin: HE HAD THIS BIRD 

Asesus: what type?

Rollin: I DUNNO IT WAS RED AND GREEN WITH TWO REALLY LONG FEATHERS AS A TALE AND A MOHAWK 

OiOikawa: do you mean the Resplendent Quetzal? 

Rollin: I JUST SEARCHED IT UP AND HEAH THAT 

OiOikawa: that’s rather odd as it is native to Mexico, Chiapas and western Panama although there are quetzals in South America belonging to the genus Pharomachrus

Litten: oikawa why do you know this 

OiOikawa: fuck if I know dude I just do 

OiOikawa: fun fact it’s related to the Mayan, Toltec and Aztec god Quetzalcoatl who’s name translates to feathered serpent. God of the air, wind and learning 

OiOikawa: although the first evidence of worshiping a feathered serpent God was seen Teotihuacan in the first BC or early AD 

OiOikawa: however Quetzalcoatl almost directly translates to serpent of precious men 

OiOikawa: also the God’s main animals were Resplendent Quetzals and rattlesnakes 

OiOikawa: you can probably also guess that the name Queatzal comes from Quetzalcoatl 

OiOikawa:...I honestly don’t know how I known this 

Rollin: YEAH ANOUT THE SNAKES

Rollin: HE HAD ONE IN HIS ARMS AND I??????

You’remydad: holy fuck they’re poisonous 

Snek: yes they are poisonous but it isn’t illegal to have one as a pet 

Snek: although they are a massive responsibility and you have to take care as they are in the viper family

Rollin: noice

Rollin: also I just watched Asahi forget how easy it was to open the hot tub so he opened the lid fell in and then the lid shut in on him 

You’remydad: please don’t kill him 

Rollin: he’ll rise again on Sunday it’s okay 

You’remydad: nO THATS NOT HOW HE WORKS GODDAMNIT NISHINOYA YUU 

Rollin:...it’s not

You’remydad: at this point in my career I’m not sure whether I’m the captain or the babysitter

Litten: You’re the daddy

HoeHoe: yes, I am thicc daddy 

WhoWho: Bokuto-san I just saved you from breaking bones by jumping onto a table being moved from under you 

WhoWho: you are not the daddy I am the daddy 

HoeHoe: but I thought you were the mummy…

WhoWho: I suppose if you were the daddy and I the mummy then I would be your spouse yes?

HoeHoe: uhuh 

WhoWho: then I shall be your wife 

HoeHoe: okay!!! 

You’remydad: I- wow-

TuTushima: Ugh I want LoVe 

Snek: ^

OiOikawa: ^

Babayaga: ^

Litten: ^

You’remydad: ^

Minecraftfox: I would like to date someone who doesn’t cheat on me 

Snek: sksksks

TuTushima: are you...okay?

Minecraftfox: most likely 

You’remydad: mngh do you wanna talk about it?

Minecraftfox: perhaps I could get some advice?

OiOikawa: yes!! 

Minecraftfox: well you see I’m dating this guy called Asahiro and he is nice but sometimes he comes home and starts talking about his sexual exploits 

Minecraftfox: I do not wish to have sex often and I have informed of this and have said that I am fine with him going for hook ups 

Minecraftfox: but two days ago I caught him and another guy on a date 

Minecraftfox: I thought it would be okay but I made him angry by asking about the other guy and he beat me up 

Minecraftfox: I understand that I shouldn’t’ve pushed him on the topic but at the same time I do believe beating me up was slightly over the top 

Minecraftfox: I cannot decide whether him making me feel bad and insecure because of my lack of sexual activities is as bad as him seemingly rubbing it in my face…

OiOikawa: I- Kita...what he is doing is abusive 

OiOikawa: all your feelings are completely valid and in this situation I would say it would be best to leave him 

Litten: did he ever guilt trip you into sex

Minecraftfox: yes, usually once a month

Minecraftfox: we have been dating for two years and during most of our sexual activities I didn’t wish to take part 

Minecraftfox: but I did consent 

You’remydad: that’s not okay Kita

Snek: yeah! You should pack up your stuff and leave 

Minecraftfox: I have nowhere to stay…

Litten: what about that two toned bitch 

Minecraftfox: Atsumu?

Litten: yh

Minecraftfox: I do not wish to impose on him 

Minecraftfox: I do not want to be a bother 

TuTushima: I think he would be ecstatic if you stayed with him 

Minecraftfox: ???

TuTushima: Osamu is staying with Suna apparently so Atsumu is lonely 

Minecraftfox: perhaps I should contact him…

TuTushima: yes!

OiOikawa: yes!

HoeHoe: yes!

Godzillasimp: yes!

Gucciflipflops: yes!

Rollin: yes!

WhoWho: yes!

UshiUshi: yes!

ReDEeR: yes! 

Private message Feral and OiOikawa 

Feral: where is Atlantis 

OiOikawa: what?

Feral: stfu you’re older than most things still around how you survived the meteor I will never know but answer the fucking queastion 

Feral: where tf is Atlantis 

OiOikawa: wow wow good evening to you too pup!

OiOikawa: well I don’t remember much of the human’s land but according to Plato Atlantis is supposedly past the Pillars of Hercules which is assumed to be the straits of Gebrolter but..

OiOikawa: what I’m about to tell you, there is no way a human should know it do you understand me? 

Feral: yes now get on with it 

OiOikawa: Baphomet once told me he remembered Atlantis to be on land, not an island at all although he said it was close ish to to sea 

OiOikawa: I think it is now called the Richat Structure 

OiOikawa: he said that although it is in the Sahara desert and that Plato said it sunk it actually fell away to an earthquake and most of the remains of the city were destroyed in a battle between him and Mokele-Mbembe 

Feral: fuck 

OiOikawa: mhm 

OiOikawa: I have to admit I do not remember an island being around Morocco and Spain 

Feral: holy shit….

OiOikawa: mhm

Feral: you said something about a Quezalcoatl 

OiOikawa: yes! The Titan still seen as a God! 

OiOikawa: he lived in Machu Pichu once

OiOikawa: Aztec, Mayan, Peruvian and such 

Feral: woah

OiOikawa: yes!


	6. Pls god no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it’s short! 
> 
> School started up again and it’s effort since A Levels are ew..

Tooru was smiling? Why? Was he truly that desperate to talk about his Titans? Perhaps he was...perhaps he was lonely in his isolated human life. Although he wasn’t truly alone, his display earlier had proved that fact, the echoing replies of his brethren was like a blanket of comfort he was unaware he needed. He was sitting on the roof in a pair of shitty old jeans and a raincoat from the 90s with one of Hajime’s turtlenecks on, not that the boy ever wore them, mostly because Oikawa kept on stealing them. 

Who could blame him though, Hajime’s clothes were warm and they smelt like him. Tooru wasn’t human, despite him looking like one he wasn’t actually one. He was the alpha, the apex of apex predators, the King of Titans before he was a human and so he only had animal instincts paired with human intelligence. He knew he wasn’t the only being like this, the other Titans would probably be suffering the same fate. The thing about Titans was that they had to blend in with the humans, it felt like submission which he hated, he was a King and therefore did not wish to submit but at the same time if he and the other Titans stayed in their true form they would kill off many humans which would end in a bottomless pit of conflict between both human and Titan. 

He had to lead by example, if he kept the humans safe then so would the rest of the Titans. Life was not like it was back before the humans...or at least when there were less of them. There could be not battle for dominance without mass casualties, he had beaten off many competitors anyway and he was the Alpha, no one would step in his way without being slaughtered and he kept this vow but he couldn’t when it came to humans. 

When Kageyama came to him and asked for him to teach the boy to serve that was a direct threat for the throne and Tooru refused to loose what he had sacrificed so much for, if he lost to Kageyama the Titans would follow the human despite the kid being a human, once the boy would die there would be no sense of pack and they would fight each other to the death, he could not allow that no matter the cost, he could not sacrifice the human race all because some child wanted to learn how to serve. 

It wasn’t Kageyama’s fault, he didn’t know but Tooru couldn’t simply ignore a threat to his position and so he was pissed at the brat for even insinuating he was going to be better than Tooru. It didn’t help that Iwaizumi stopped him from hitting Kageyama, it meant that Iwaizumi accepted Kageyama as a challenger for the alpha position...it meant that Iwaizumi didn’t want him as the alpha. Of course none of the humans knew this and to them Oikawa had snapped and tried to hurt Kageyama and Iwaizumi had stepped in to save the pair of idiots but Tooru wasn’t human and he loved Iwaizumi so it hurt so fucking much to see the man he love stand up for someone who was a direct threat.

The rain pelted down, slapping his face, it felt nice, it felt normal, it felt like home. He remembered how he used to lay on his back in the sea, bird would fly and land on his body, seals would climb up and lay on his stomach, resting and purring to each other, rain would fall down from the endless sky and slap against his scales, the clouds would clear and he would be swallowed by the endless intensity of the stars. He missed that freedom, he missed his natural body, he missed feeling comfortable in his own skin. 

Private Message Godzillasimp and OiOikawa

Godzillasimp: u ok

OiOikawa: awe does Iwa-chan care about me????

Godzillasimp: tch 

Godzillasimp: my gf is looking for that Godzilla hoodie you have, she wants to wear it..can I have it back

OiOikawa:...no

Godzillasimp: why tf not 

OiOikawa: because I need it 

Godzillasimp: cant I just give you another one

OiOikawa: no, it’s doesn’t work like that Iwa-chan my brain chooses like once this and doesn’t work with anything else 

Godzillasimp:...fine just don’t tell her alright cause I don’t want her bitching about you

OiOikawa: ugh Iwa-chan <3<3<3 

Godzillasimp: shittykawa….

OiOikawa: you looooooove me 

Godzillasimp: ew

OiOikawa: *le gasp*

Godzillasimp: gtg 

Fuck, he just wanted...well actually he didn’t know what he wanted. He was laying on his roof with his mother fucking some nameless dick downstairs on the same bed she fucked her husband. He thought of her soft black hair and warm brown eyes, her pretty pale skin and her voice when she used to sing him to sleep. 

He felt like he was in chains, everyday he was just a coma in a classroom. She would shout and scream whenever he got detention or bad grades, it didn’t fucking help when he rolled his eyes or pulled a face, it was always the same reason. 

“We’ve talked about this Oikawa, you can’t make that face.”

And he would go home and be met with a wall of tension. It was like walking into a snake pit, mother seething, waiting to bring it up and when she could? It was living hell, toxic. It was like breathing in liquid poison. Words spat with a tongue as sharp as a blade, Tooru would boil. He would simmer in anger, waiting for anything to just push past the tension and he would snap. Badly. 

Last time he snapped he tore Ushijima a new one, the boy had approached Oikawa and just seeing the tall brunette seemed to set him off. He spat words like a weapon. He punched the fucker in the face. Hard. 

The lecturing from Irihata was worth it besides what was a few more laps around the gym? He was too important to be benched anyway. Having to formally apologise to Ushijima was less fun but seeing the dark purple bruise and the masses of bandages that signified he had broken the boy’s nose which made him preen in delight. Have you ever felt someone break under your fist? Well, Oikawa loved it, it was so satisfying, to have someone bleed underneath him, it was addictive, it triggered his hunter instincts.

Well, enough of that. He jumped down to the ground and shivered as pain shot up his knee, mistakes were made..he would have to actually do his physio tonight. He quietly walked through the halls of his house, his mum now passes out drunk on the sofa, his dad fucking some slut he had brought home just after his mum’s whore left, his sister smoking cannabis, the scent clubg to her hallway like perfume and the odd sounds coming from the kitchen, he never quite liked that part of the house, every instinct he had screamed at him to not go there and so he never did. 

Was his family okay? The big picture hanging on the landing of the gallery staircase in their modern house in Ishigaki would say that yes, they were happy but the viper pit that was his home would disagree, the walls would whisper of infidelity, abuse and deception. 

Of course though he wasn’t actually related to any of the Oikawa’s, he just simply shared their name and looked like them with brown hair, brown eyes and pale skin. Other than that he was not related to them in anyway, cut that thought from your heart. 

Although not all of his life as an Oikawa was bad, they were rich and he had learnt that if you were rich you were more or less free...to an extent of course. He could buy whatever he wanted, however he wanted, he didn’t have to go to school or to work, he could drop out. He could buy his way into the Japanese team, he could make sure Iwaizumi got what he wanted, he would follow that boy to the ends of the Earth, he would die for Iwaizumi. 

He sighed heavily, he felt tired. Sometimes he wished he could just go back to how it was before all this, back to his kingdom of Babylon and just live there. Coming back from his duties to his beautiful queen. He wanted to search the gardens for peaches only for Mothra to whack him over the head because he ruined his robes. He wanted her to shout at him again, call him an idiot. He wanted to engulf her in a hug and to just lay down with her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. 

He supposed his life wasn’t all bad now though. He had Iwa-Chan and his team, plus the other captains and his fangirls doubled as some sort of protection squad when someone got a little too touchy feely. Besides, going to expensive places was actually kinda fun, being able to go into Gucci and shops like that without worrying about what he was spending? Liberating. He could live like royalty but he didn’t, not all the time. He hung out with his team, walked to school, went to the local corner shop, he lived a somewhat humblish life most of the time but that didn’t stop him going to nice restaurants wearing a stunning suit, using his bodyguard as his date because even if he didn’t have cake he had sexy thighs and legs for days with pretty brown hair so he could work most tight suits and some dresses. 

His anger though? Wasn’t as bad as Iwaizumi’s. Iwaizumi snapped, he burst with this rage found rarely in humans while a Oikawa boiled, he let his anger bubble until he burst in one go and tore through people like sharp claws, leaving carnage in his way. That’s what his anger was like. Animalistic. 

BoogieWoogie

You’remydad: has anyone seen Hinata???

OiOikawa: chibi-Chan? Why??

Gucciflipflops: we cant find him anywhere, Suga is going crazy 

Asesus: yes pls help us find him! 

OiOikawa: how did you loose him?

Litten: idk bro he is like 5’0

HoeHoe: he does have beacon hair the bro

Litten: oh shit you right bro…

Babayaga: Brokuto and Kubroo, two halves of a whole idiot 

Litten: stfu you grim reaper catapilars eyebrows looking arse 

OiOikawa: Insult him again and I’ll slowly rip of each of your nails and scrape them over your eyeballs 

Babayaga: Ugh Captain!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Litten: I-

TuTushima: damn that’s hot 🥵 

OiOikawa: only for you~ 

Gucciflipflops: wait what- 

Rollin: yams stop your jealousy is showing-

Gucciflipflops: What??? No I’m not jealous!

Gucciflipflops: stfu Noya you useless midget 

Rollin: sksksksks 

Rollin: @Asesus come protect me-

Asesus: I-

Asesus: you brought this upon yourself 

Rollin: Wha???? BABE!!

Asesus: sorry

Asesus: I’m going to go pray-

TuTushima: -////-

Boba: oooo

Boba: is it ✨L O V E✨

Babayaga: I think it is 

Babayaga: ✨L O V E✨

TuTushima: stfu 

TuTushima: YALL USELESS

Gucciflipflops: 0////0

TuTushima: I-

Gucciflipflops:...love?

TuTushima: No!

Gucciflipflops: ah..

TuTushima: NO WAIT I MEAN YES

TuTushima: FUCK NO IM SORY IM EAN NoO!

TuTushima: IM GOONAGONOWLOVEYOULOTSBYE

Gucciflipflops: 0///0 eh?

You’remydad:FFS

You’remydad: GUYS HINATA 

HoeHoe: oh shit

Litten: fuck i forgot about that….

You’remydad: ugh….

OiOikawa: I’m sure he’ll be fine

You’remydad: and how would you know that???

OiOikawa: bc I’m his friend :)

Now, he wasn’t dumb and he knew that so when the idea of Hinata being Quetzalcoatl popped up into his mind he realised he was probably correct. The titan roar close to home, the birds, the snakes and the scarification which acted like a morbid story of Hinata’s past. 

Tooru slid open the window of his bedroom. Most traditional houses didn’t have a second floor but he wasn’t complaining, it made sneaking in and out easier. He hummed, if he was correct that Hinata was Quetzalcoatl then he wouldn’t need to a loud call, just enough so any Titan in the prefecture could answer. The call would need to be high pitched since Quetzalcoatl was technically a bird serpent thing so he would hear the call. Plus he didn’t want it too quiet so that Hinata would think he was injured then rush over.

He felt the rumble bubble in his chest. He opened his mouth. And by the Gods did he roar. He waited. Ears pricked for any sound. He was about to reach for his phone and tell Daichi to call the police when he heard it. A quiet response. A gentle squawking sound that seemed to flow with the air. Hinata was fine.


	7. Hotel? Trivago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this was so late!!
> 
> I got Angst and light smut  
> We got some Yagami Yato plus some good tunes 
> 
> Fentanyl - McCafferty is the song!

Hinata stared over the half cliff half hill thing. He gently cradled the bottle of Caipirinha in his grasp, he had bought it from Brazil and gotten it shipped over. He was slightly drunk, no doubt about it. He was dressed in an old hoodie that once belonged to Tsukishima but he had got his hands on it and effectively stolen it from under his nose, it wasn’t Hinata’s fault that he liked oversized clothing plus he didn’t feel like wearing Kageyama’s hoodie, it just felt wrong.

His shorts covered most of anything important, the bruises from daddy dearest who would come home late at night, drunk and pissed. It’s why he hated getting angry, he didn’t want to be like his dad. 

If he was being truthful then he would say that he was happy but honestly? He wasn’t. He wanted to go back to when he was celebrated as a God, back when Hinata wasn’t his name, when Quetzalcoatl was the only name they associated with the tanned, red haired boy. 

He ran his fingers over the scarring that created a beautiful design up his arm, he, for once, had taken the makeup off his face because you couldn’t really have a kid with tribal tattoos smashing down a volleyball could you? He didn’t have to wear makeup over all his tattoos though, he had the massive callender on his back which was being swallowed by his Titan form, yes he had gotten his true form tattooed upon his skin. Plus the writing behind his ears, his hair was long enough to cover it. He had more scarring over his chest and on his hips, as well as branding around each wrist which he usually kept hidden behind sweat bands. Most oddly though was either the ear piercings or perhaps the jewels embedded in his teeth, you couldn’t see them as they were quite small but they were there so when people said he had a sparkling smile they weren’t exactly wrong. 

He had managed to keep this hidden from his team but getting changed separately or waiting till the others were distracted. He would put on his left arm sleeve and if anyone asked he had simply hurt his elbow and wrist while spiking, no one would know the truth. 

He missed it though. The people, the music, the food. He wanted it all back. He wanted to throw his arms into the air and dance wearing a massive headdress and beautiful robes with burning poles spinning about him. He wanted to just go back to his temple and gently float in the running water. But, he couldn’t. It was all gone, his temple now a place to Instagram. Teotihuacan was a national heritage site and so a massive winged serpent or a redheaded child sleeping in it would stick out like a sore fucking thumb. He hated it! That was his home and it was treated like some shitty little doll house! 

He sobbed and took another swig from his bottle, hoping the alcohol would get him so drunk he would forget everything and the reason he came up here in the first place. He pulled out his phone, staring at his Lock Screen. It was Natsu and him after she had done her first ever spike, sure they were muddy and looked a bit feral but then again he did live on the mountain and so he believed it was fair to look a bit wild. He opened his phone and then opened his team group chat.

Sunshine: Sunflower broke, stem is bent at an angle

Sugamama: how did your sunflower break? 

You’remydad: pls just stahp

NO-ya: oml your name 

You’remydad: kuroo changed it and i can’t fix it…

Tanabro: lolololol

Sunshine: If good boys smoke good drugs then consider me an angel

Sugamama: wtf Hinata!?!? You take drugs!!??

TuskiTsuki: idk 

TuskiTuski: he is dumb as shit and probably doesn’t even know where to get them…

Sugamama: probably from idiot 1 and 2

NO-ya: yeah no 

NO-ya: i don’t fucking touch drugs aight

Tanabro: preach 

You’remydad: GOD FUCKING DAMMNIT LANGUAGE SHITHEADS! 

Asahesus: …

Asahesus: Lang-

You’remydad: finish off that sentence and I’ll make you burn all your bibles 

You’remydad: I fucking swtg

You’remydad: try me 

NO-ya: is he like...okay? 

Sugamama: lol no 

Sugamama: I ate his last ice lolly lol

Sugamama: but he doesn’t want to get mad at me soooo

Tanabro: he takes it out on us…

Sugamama: yep! :)

Gucciflipflops: all I need is chaotic Sugamama

NO-ya: lol 

Sunshine: SnapBack forward, tree house of horrors

Swageyama: Boke Hinata Boke!

Swageyama: where are you?? You’re late for practice! 

NO-ya: Hoe never misses practice…

Sugamama: don’t called Hinata a hoe! 

NO-ya: sorry mummy! 

Sugamama: don’t call me that-

You’remydad: don’t call him that- 

NO-ya: 👁👄👁

Tanabro: 👁👄👁

Sunshine: Deal drugs to your kids and your parents pay for it

TsukiTsuki: don’t fucking do drugs dipshit 

Sugamama: LANGUAGE! 

You’remydad: I don’t remember paying for drugs- 

NO-ya: 👁👄👁

Tanabro: 👁👄👁

Ennodonewithyourshit: 👁👄👁

Gucciflipflops: oh wait- 

Swageyama: ???

Gucciflipflops: shit Hinata- 

Sunshine: Disconnected families with cell phones at dinner

Kiyohohoho: is your family life okay? 

YachEEEE: you don’t have to talk about it now but we’re always here if you need to! 

Sunshine: Teachers, mom, dad, God are all mad at the sinner

Asahesus: God wouldn’t be mad...rather, he would be disappointed 

Gucciflipflops: I- 

Gucciflipflops: holy 

Asahesus: yes

NO-ya: how does a man with that much package who could get like anyone 

NO-ya: wAIT FOR MARRIAGE???

Asahesus: I- 

Sugamama: how would you know that Noya? 

NO-ya: because I’ve had a sleep over before and the morning were shocking 

Asahesus: oh good Lord 

Tanabro:...Asahi bro

Tanabro: my mans

Tanabro:...

Tanabro: how big does it be tho..

Asahesus: TANAKA! 

Tanabro: WHAT? 

Gucciflipflops: okay but how many shampoo bottles?? 

Asahesus: PLSSTANLHXOWNXW

Sunshine: Draw pictures in my notebook when I'm supposed to be learning

TsukiTsuki: that’d be why you’re failing like every class 

Swageyama: stfu dick face I’m failing chemistry but I doodle

TsukiTsuki: yeah, that’s cause you’re just retarded 

Sugamama:...I’m sorry Kageyama but you brought than on yourself..

NOya: fuckin MCrip 

Tanabro: fat McRip

Sunshine: Pop a Xanax before class to keep my thoughts from hurting

TuskiTsuki: oh 

Gucciflipflops: Hinata…

Swageyama: what’s Xanax? 

NO-ya: anxiety meds 

Sunshine: Write a suicide note when I get home wishing you all goodbye

TsukiTsuki: woah no what- 

Sugamama: Hinata…

NO-ya: do you need me to come around?? 

Tanabro: yh same! 

Asahesus: I’m also here if you ever need to talk Hinata..

Sunshine: If I am a ghost now then why still can't I fly?

Swageyama: Boke you’re not a ghost! 

Kiyohohoho: literally biologically impossible to

Sunshine: Always stare out my window and wish I were somewhere else

TuskiTsuki: mood 

Gucciflipflops: Tsukki! 

TuskiTsuki: what??

Sunshine: My depression likes to put my dreams on the shelf

Swageyama: don’t say that Boke! 

Swageyama: we are gonna go pro whether I have to drag you there myself! 

NO-ya: my mans ain’t makin no sense bruv...

Sunshine: Am I not cool like the other players because I don't know about love?

Sugamama: what???

Sugamama: of course not! 

TsukiTsuki: you don’t need to know about love 

TsukiTsuki: you don’t have enough brain cells for it anyway 

Sunshine: Art is supposed to scare you and I've got blood in my lungs

YachEEEE: Hanahaki? 

TuskiTsuki: no that’s fictional 

Sunshine: I'm not sad but I'm not exactly happy yet either

Sugamama: Hinata baby 

Sugamama: have you thought about possibly seeing a therapist or councillor? 

Sunshine: Unless I live forever I have to keep playing this shit

Swageyama: Boke? 

Gucciflipflops: I don’t get it…

NO-ya: Hinata, you will be okay 

Sunshine: My biggest fear is that I will be forgotten

NO-ya: you won’t be! 

NO-ya: you know he will always remember you! 

Sugamama: what? 

TsukiTuski: gotta agree with Noya on this…

Sunshine: The grass will grow over my gravestone and nobody will bother

Swageyama: Boke Hinata Boke! 

You’remydad: we will care for it! 

Sugamama: so will your sister!!

Sunshine: You know the beautiful thoughts that you always think?

Asahesus: I don’t like where this is going…

Ennodonewithyourshit: same-

Sunshine: Nobody will hear them again

Gucciflipflops: ajdjkwnxjaks

Ah yes, he had forgotten about Tsukishima and Noya. He didn’t think either of them were humans, he wasn’t sure if they were titans though. It was the way Tsukishima did things, sometimes he would just speak about historical events with incredible detail, almost as if he was actually there which of course wasn’t possible. Noya though? He just got those vibes from him. 

He had to admit that he wasn’t totally opposed to the idea of Tsukishima being a fellow Titan. If the guy was then they could mate...he couldn’t exactly do that with Kageyama. Besides, Tsukishima was a better pick for stronger offspring, high intelligence, height, strength and he was handsome which didn’t hurt at all. Not that Kageyama wasn’t good looking, that guy was hot as fuck but he just..he just didn’t get Hianat sometimes. They didn’t have that connection he needed but that wasn’t Kageyama’s fault, the boy was human and Hinata was an ancient god. 

Sometimes he wondered how easy it would be to just shift and stay that way, return to his true form, the one connected to both the eternal universe and the comforting cradle of Mother Earth, she who births each creature...that doesn’t stop him from thinking of his true mother though. She was so beautiful, long red hair, green, blue, yellow and red feathers mixed in with her hair, tanned skin paired with yellow eyes that seemed to look through every lie he told. She had been his favourite being in the universe, even above his father! Although that was incredibly long ago now and she was dead...like the rest of his species. 

The Titans were the last of each of their species, cleansed by some primordial being to live eternally. Literally the most boring thing ever. It was extremely lonely though, he missed his fellow titans, he missed that connection. 

He couldn’t say that he was too depressed about it though, Waterloo by ABBA was blasting through his headphones. Usually if he was listening to a song his mood would reflect the type of song and so he decided some ABBA would calm his depressed nerves. 

*********************************

Oikawa stared..well actually the look on his face was akin to a glare really, down at his stupid homework. Don’t get him wrong, he was smart but that didn’t mean he actually wanted to do the work. He was bored as shit and the protein synthesis essay wasn’t going to interest him at all! He had already done his physics homework, a 12 mark queastion on the life cycle of stars but then he ended up writing a six page essay of the cycle of stars but also the Big Bang and how would humans theoritaclly survive if the sun went out and what would we do at the end of the universe but worse of all he had done two different essays for physics so he couldn’t really do a third! 

Private message Litten and OiOikawa 

Litten: so like 

Litten: i was just causally laying down 

OiOikawa:...sounds sus 

Litten: stfu

Litten: AnYwAy 

Litten: i was laying down and thinking about shit when I remembered you referred to Hinata as chibi-Chan….

OiOikawa: aight 

OiOikawa: okay just listen m8

Litten:...you listened to my Yagami Yato video didn’t you…

OiOikawa:...no..

Litten:..18+?

OiOikawa: (*´-`)

OiOikawa: well if that’s what you sound like in bed then any partner is lucky to have you- 

Litten: I KN E W IT 

Litten: I SOUND BETTER THAN BOKUBRO RIGHT??? 

OiOikawa: his was cute 

OiOikawa: like sweet and vanilla 

OiOikawa: but you? 

OiOikawa: I mean like- 

OiOikawa: tie me up and whip me-

BoogieWoogieWoogie

Litten: @OiOikawa 

Litten: TELL THEM WHAT YOU TOLD ME!!!!!

OiOikawa: hxkwnxkak

Litten: do it or I’ll tell them all your fucking kinky secrets 

OiOikawa: stfu hoe 

HoeHoe: HEY HEY HEY!!!

WhoWho: yes, hello 

OiOikawa: kuroo I will literally be slaughtered 

Godzillasimp: good 

Godzillasimp: suffer 

OiOikawa: Iwa…

Babayaga: r00d 

Litten: tell them or I’ll tell Iwa-chan 

OiOikawa: bokuto sounds soft and vanillary during sex while Kuroo could literally whip me and I’d thank him 

OiOikawa: there ive said it 

Godzillasimp: wtf Shittykawa 

Babayaga:...I gotta like agree though 

TuTushima: I totally get Ukai the

OiOikawa: lol same 

Babayaga: his voice is so low and it’s just \\(//∇//)\

OiOikawa: “chiiiiibi-chan” 

TuTushima: hdkwnxkka

Babayaga: like 

Babayaga: fuck me till my face falls off 

Asahesus: wtf 

NO-ya:...okay but they aren’t wrong though 

Asahesus: Noya….

NO-ya: what??

NO-ya: I’m with Oikawa on this 

OiOikawa: @Litten 

Litten: ye

OiOikawa: if you ever need a fuck

OiOikawa: I will literally be on my knees 

TuTushima: same 

Babayaga: same 

NO-ya: same 

WhoWho:...what? 

HoeHoe:...do I sound like...good though? 

OiOikawa: you do 

OiOikawa: you just sound like aftercare with bubbles and warm water and a caring person 

Babayaga: while kuroo.. 

OiOikawa: I would literally let him fuck me in my school bathroom 

Godzillasimp: pls don’t 

UshiUshi: if you had come to Shiratorizawa-

ReDEeR: Wakatoshi-Kun 

ReDEeR: I wouldn’t of put it past Oikawa to listen to your audio in spite 

OiOikawa: if he wasn’t so...horny sounding at the begging then I could’ve worked with it but like??

Babayaga: I get you

TuTushima: “I might be big but you’re scary!” 

NO-ya: oooo~ i know that one! 

OiOikawa:...hey Asah-

NO-ya: i will stab you 

OiOikawa: I wouldn’t put it past him 

Babayaga: it’s the closest he’ll ever get to hearing it though lol

NO-ya: shut up okay we know 

Babayaga: I’m stuck in the same position 

OiOikawa: aight we are the “in love with straights” group 

Babayaga: true 

Litten: wait Oikawa who have you listened to? 

OiOikawa: err

OiOikawa: you (yes, all of them), Bokuto, Ukai, Ushijima, Tsukishima, Terushima, Asahi and Mr. Refreshing 

Litten:...fair 

Babayaga: wait you haven’t listened to Kageyama????? 

OiOikawa: you mean Swageyama Tobiyolo? 

Babayaga: lol 

OiOikawa: no I haven’t 

Babayaga: oof

Babayaga: Kunimi, Yahaba and Watari all said they’d wanna be dicked down by @Litten 

Litten:....

Litten: im gonna move to Aoba Johsai

Babayaga: FU CK YEAH

OiOikawa: Hanamaki…

Babayaga: ORGY TIME 

Godzillasimp: Jesus Christ 

You’remydad: oh dear god…

HoeHoe: wait isn’t Kunimi that kid who saw that ghost 

WhoWho: yes I was thinking the same Bokuto-San

OiOikawa: yes he was ( ^ω^ )


	8. Time Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song used is called Time Alive by a YouTube called KC Katalbas! 
> 
> I feel like this chapter is longer but honestly I’m not even sure anymore lol 
> 
> I have about 26 titans for this fanfic so yall be be prepared! We gonna go wild for this! Woooo!

Oikawa snorted and put his phone down, he was jealous of humans. They felt so strongly despite being so weak and so pitiful..he didn’t quite understand it. 

He shook his head, he wasn’t going to try and distract himself from the problem at hand. That problem being the fact that he had a pin gripped tightly in his hand, it dug into his skin slowly but didn’t pierce it, he wasn’t applying enough pressure. Oikawa rolled his neck, eyes wincing when he heard the odd crackling sound as his spinal fluid’s bubbles popped, probably wasn’t good for you but meh. 

BoogieWoogieWoogie

OiOikawa: if yall ever wanna hang yourself don’t kick a chair from underneath you, jump 

HoeHoe: eh??

TuTushima: bruv

Gucciflipflops: ^^

Asahesus: I- 

NOya: 👁👄👁

NOya: -👄👁

NOya: -👄-

NOya: 👁👄-

NOya: 👁👄👁

UshiUshi: I- 

ReDEeR: did you just lizard blink????

Asahesus: it’s even scarier when he does it in real life

NOya: lol

Litten: it’s because if you just kick a chair your head will sever from your body but you’ll be paralysed and in agony for quite a while

Litten: tis why families of hanging victims would pull on their feet to kill them quicker 

Litten: jumping makes ya spine go ✨s n a p✨

WhoWho: good to know 

Babayaga: true facts he spittin

Godzillasimp: Shittykawa you alright? 

OiOikawa: yeah lol 

OiOikawa: it just came to my mind lol

Asahesus: apparently figs have wasps in them…

WhoWho: I’m sorry 

HoeHoe: w h a t ?

WhoWho: Bokuto-san❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰😍🥰💕💞💓🤎  
💛🖤❣️💘🖤💜💘💞🤍🖤💘💞🤍🖤💖💖💜🖤💘🤍💞🧡💕💘🖤💜❣️🖤🧡💕💕🖤💞💞💝💘💖💜🧡💚💙💚🧡❤️💖💘💞🖤💕💕🖤💕💘❣️💜💖💘💞🤍💞💗💗💝💘🤍🖤❣️

HoeHoe: AKAARGHSHIIII💕🖤💕💛💘❤️💘💛💕  
💛💕❣️💛🧡💕💞🧡💞💕💛💘💘💙💙💕🤍🤍🧡💞💘❤️💖💖💕💘🧡🖤💝💝🤍💘💘🤍💘💛💘💝🤍💝💝🧡💞🧡💞💘💘🤍💘🧡💕❤️💞💘💖💛❣️❣️❣️💖🧡💘💝💞🧡💘🖤💘💛💘🧡💝💞🖤💞💕💘💘💛💝💞🧡💞🖤💘🤍💘💘💛💕💘🧡💞💞❤️💞🧡💞💛💘💕💚💕🤎💕

OiOikawa: excuse me but I want that please 

ReDEeR: same 

NOya: same 

TuTushima: same

Minecraftfox: same 

Babayaga: same

Gucciflipflops: same 

Snek: same 

WhoWho: I would advise you to stay the fuck away from Bokuto-san or I will hurt you 

OiOikawa: sir yessir

ReDEeR: ^

NOya: ^

TuTushima: ^

Minecraftfox: ^

Babayaga: ^

Gucciflipflops: ^

Snek: ^

Litten: technically there aren’t wasps in figs anymore because female figs have enzymes that break down the wasp way before we eat it 

Litten: in make figs all the wasps are long gone since they crawled out and flew away 

OiOikawa: （╹◡╹）

Snek: I- 

HoeHoe: woah bro you’re so smart! 

Litten: thank you bro! 

HoeHoe: bro <3

Litten: bro <3

WhoWho: ffs 

You’remydad: I want death

WhoWho added Fuckoff to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

Fuckoff:...

Litten: KENMA ❤️💞💛💕💕💚💕💛💞💞🧡💓💙  
💓💞💘💛💖💖❣️❤️💞❤️💟💚💘💘🧡💛💞💛💘💘💘❤️💖❤️💝💛💚💗💚💓💞💛🧡🧡💘💕❤️💕❤️❣️💕🖤❣️💖💕🧡💞🤍🧡💞💛💚💙💗💓💓🤎💞💞💕💘💖🤍🧡💕❤️🤍💞

Fuckoff: what does my username say? 

Litten: fuck off? 

Fuckoff: and so, do as you’re told 

Litten: i- 

Snek: damn he really walked into that one…

Litten: literally stfu your girlfriend dumped your arse AGAIN 

Snek: so? At least I haven’t fucked a coach 3 times lol

Fuckoff: wh a t 

WhoWho: excuse me? 

Babayaga: oooo~ 

ReDEeR: tea~ 

Litten: literally die ;3; 

Snek: lol suffer 

Fuckoff: tf kuroo??

Fuckoff: who? 

Fuckoff: when? 

Fuckoff: where?

TuTushima: kenma sounds like you’re jealous-

Fuckoff: Of course I’m not what kind of bullshit is this???

WhoWho:....you do though- 

Fuckoff: YOU LITERALLY CRIED BECAUSE SOME GIRL SAID HI TO BOKUTO BEFORE YOU COULD!?!?!?

WhoWho: I have no shame in that 

WhoWho: it’s not my fault she had no manners

Babayaga: keyword being ✨h a d✨

TuTushima: true

NOya: literally 

WhoWho:...your input is not needed 

HoeHoe: akaarghsiiiiii but I only have eyes for you *3* -3*

WhoWho: I love you too Bokuto-san :)

OiOikawa: so precious ❤️

Minecraftfox: a healthy relationship 💖

Snek: oh yh

Snek: how’d it to with Ratsumu 

Minecraftfox: I- 

Litten: ADD HIM!

ReDEeR: ADD HIM!!

UshiUshi: ADD HIM!!!

HoeHoe: ADD HIM!!!!

TuTushima: ADD HIM!!!!!

Minecraftfox added Sangwoah to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

You’remydad: oh Jesus Christ 

Asahesus: I can hear the choirs of angels begging me to come home 

NOya: and you’d??? Just leave me????

Asahesus: I- 

NOya: R00D 

OiOikawa: sometimes I wish I could live in either BNHA or SNK

Sangwoah: mood

ReDEeR: mood

OiOikawa: we be there for that soundtrack though 

Sangwoah: ^

ReDEeR: ^

Sangwoah: what would you be though 

OiOikawa: mngh, good queastion 

ReDEeR: anti-hero, Titan shifter but like...feral 

OiOikawa: if be a hero, Titan shifter but for the Corps 

Sangwoah: vigilante/anti-hero, probs a Titan shifter or someone who has big brain time and knows about everything but is keeping it all a secret 

OiOikawa: oOoOo~ noice

ReDEeR: mhm noice 

Sangwoah: what would your quirks/Titan be? 

ReDEeR: mmm, something cool like shifting into a dragon or smthn and being resistant to fire! I’d have a cool Titan like the fire Titan or something and my body would get so hot that things would start burning! 

OiOikawa: damn sounds sick 

OiOikawa: I’d do something godzilla based 

OiOikawa: being a king sounds awesome 

Sangwoah: I’m shooketh

OiOikawa: why? 

Sangwoah: usually your Iwa-chan is usually here whenever you are texting to me or when Godzilla is mentioned 

OiOikawa: that’s because he is on a date 

Sangwoah: damn bro 

Sangwoah: if you were on a date you didn’t have to reply to us ya know?

OiOikawa: with his girlfriend… 

Sangwoah: fuck

Sangwoah: dude I’m sorry 

OiOikawa: it’s okay lol 

Sangwoah: well….I’ll be your stand in bf! 

Sangwoah: but platonically bc…

OiOikawa: dw bruv I got you I know you eyeing up your little fox-chan~

Sangwoah: SH U T IT Y O U WHO RE

OiOikawa: R 0 0 D 

Minecraftfox: Atsumu…

Sangwoah: KITA ❤️💝💙❣️💕💖🖤🤎💕❣️💞✨  
🥰😍🤍🖤💕❣️💞✨✨🤍🥰😍✨🤍💛😍💞✨🥰🤍💞✨🤍❣️❣️💕❣️❣️

Minecraftfox: where did you hang the washing? 

Sangwoah: I didn’t have time to put yours in but mine should be dry in the airing cupboard 

Minecraftfox: okay, is it okay if I borrow some clothes? 

Sangwoah: yh! Just not my training shorts, they’re the only ones I own (^з^)-☆

Minecraftfox: ok d(￣ ￣)

Minecraftfox and OiOikawa private messages:

Minecraftfox: AHHDKWJDJAJXJKQJXJSKJEJXKAJS

OiOikawa: damn you okay there?? 

Minecraftfox: he- 

Minecraftfox: hoodie- 

Minecraftfox: smells soooOoOoOo good 

OiOikawa: damn, simp there babs

Minecraftfox: it comes down to my thighs- 

OiOikawa: awe

Minecraftfox: sweater paws!!!!

OiOikawa: AwE 

Minecraftfox: I’m going to diE at this rAte 

OiOikawa: lol mood 

OiOikawa: try get a hug from him or something 

Minecraftfox: he loved cuddling and he is so warm and so big and he just engulfs me and its AHHHHHHHH 

OiOikawa: you’re totally in love aren’t you 

Minecraftfox: hxiajxjowkshzjw 

Minecraftfox: don’t you dare tell him 

OiOikawa: I won’t don’t worry 

Minecraftfox: good…

Oikawa sighed through his nose. He stared at the sun which was slowly rising. Had he really been up all night trying to do his homework and failing miserably? Yes, yes he had. He stared at the printed out tickets he had on his desk, they were for the train to the hotel he wanted to take his friends to. He drummed his fingers against the table, for some reason he felt unsettled, like something was just...off. Now that he thought about it all these people he was just talking to could just die at any second! What if a nuclear bomb hit Miyagi? He would be fine of course, he’d probably actually thrive from it but all of his friends would die! He felt his heart rate pick up. His friends. Iwa-Chan. He needed to talk to Iwa-chan. Tears welled in his eyes. His breath quickened. Why was he panicking over humans?? 

He grasped for his phone, quickly going to his call list. He clicked on Iwaizumi’s name and pressed the call button, shoving his AirPods into his ears, the brring of the call dial.

Iwaizumi didn’t pick up.

Oikawa didn’t try to call again. 

Was it totally unfair for him to send Iwa-chan the lyrics of some stupid song that he may or may not be obsessed with? No, probably not. 

OiOikawa and Godzillasimp private message: 

OiOikawa: you always wake first 

OiOikawa: even at your worst 

OiOikawa: cause the sunrise gives you hope 

OiOikawa: there’s always more to know 

Godzillasimp: ?? You okay shittykawa??

Godzillasimp: just got out of the shower 

OiOikawa: you were always fine 

Godzillasimp: I’m not superhuman, I’m not always okay dumbass 

OiOikawa: with the constant pass of time 

Godzillasimp: ??? 

OiOikawa: life to you was long 

Godzillasimp: if I live to a good age then yh

OiOikawa: and every day a song 

Godzillasimp: I hate musicals though...you know this shittykawa

OiOikawa: well you always wake first 

Godzillasimp: that’s because you sleep like a fucking log 

Godzillasimp: a bomb could go off and you wouldn’t wake up 

OiOikawa: with morning in your eyes and coffee on your shirt 

Godzillasimp: that was once and that was because you fucking ran into me while I was holding coffee and it was my only shirt 

OiOikawa: and you burst through the door, dancing like a maniac before you hit the floor

Godzillasimp: I- 

Godzillasimp: MY DANCING ISNT BAD FUCKTARD 

OiOikawa: and you still go, driving through the summer with your heart on the road 

Godzillasimp: you better not have told anyone about that 

Godzillasimp: if the team finds out we nicked a car we will never and I mean n e v e r head the end of it trashykawa

OiOikawa: and you both knew when she told you 

Godzillasimp: what??

Godzillasimp: she??

OiOikawa: “that this is your life” windows down on an open road and “this is your heart” screaming climbing into your throat 

Godzillasimp: pretty sure I’ve like never heard those words before dumbarse

OiOikawa: and “this is breathing and seeing it go”

Godzillasimp: that doesn’t even make sense idiot! 

OiOikawa: and “this is the feeling, the feeling of being alive”

Godzillasimp:...are you alright? 

Godzillasimp: you can talk to me, you know that right? 

OiOikawa: of being alive 

Godzillasimp: oi

Godzillasimp: Tooru answer me...

OiOikawa: well you are first in line for the flyaway to Denver where you hear she’s doing fine 

Godzillasimp: where tf is Denver 

Godzillasimp: I’ve heard of Dover but definitely not Denver 

OiOikawa: and you can’t help but stare, when you spot her in the airport with the colours in her hair 

Godzillasimp: eh??

Godzillasimp: do you mean Ichiko???

Godzillasimp: she’s never dyed her hair..I think 

OiOikawa: and you still go, when you both drive to the lake house and it started to snow 

Godzillasimp: hah? 

Godzillasimp: I only go to the lake house with you dumbarse 

Godzillasimp: it’s your house after all 

OiOikawa: and you barely knew when she told you 

Godzillasimp: errr? What? 

OiOikawa: that “this is your life” dancing your way into the storm 

Godzillasimp: I’m pretty sure you are the one to dance in storms 

OiOikawa: and “this is your heart” bursting into the great unknown 

Godzillasimp: I- 

Godzillasimp: I am confusion 

OiOikawa: and “this is the breathing and seeing it go” 

Godzillasimp: did you hit your head?? 

Godzillasimp: you’ve already said that 

OiOikawa: and “this is the feeling, the feeling of being alive” 

Godzillasimp: aight I’m gonna have to check you over aren’t I? 

OiOikawa: of being alive…

Godzillasimp: you sure you’re okay? 

OiOikawa: and this is your life, every plan has the right to fall 

Godzillasimp: I

Godzillasimp: that was actually 

Godzillasimp: fuck that was meaningful shittykawa 

OiOikawa: and this is your heart, through the dark it’s the loudest call 

Godzillasimp: god you spent time looking at Pinterest poetry again didn’t you???

Godzillasimp: this is wayyyy to poetic for normal you 

OiOikawa: and this is breathing and seeing her go 

Godzillasimp: huh??

Godzillasimp: what do you mean??

Godzillasimp: Ichiko and I haven’t broken up yet lol 

OiOikawa: and this is the feeling

Godzillasimp: of being alive?? 

Godzillasimp: wouldn’t I be like heartbroken after that or smthn 

OiOikawa: the feeling…

Godzillasimp: shittykawa? 

OiOikawa: the feeling…

Godzillasimp: do you need me to come around early? 

OiOikawa: and this is your life, windows down on an open road 

Godzillasimp: if you want now that I have a license I can take, legally, to the beach house 

OiOikawa: and this is your heart, screaming climbing into your heart 

Godzillasimp: shittykawa 

Godzillasimp: you dumb slut 

Godzillasimp: you AINT making s e n s e

OiOikawa: and this is breathing and seeing it go 

Godzillasimp: ugh I’m leaving, I’ll be there in a sec 

OiOikawa: and this is the feeling 

Godzillasimp: of being alive 

OiOikawa: the feeling, the feeling 

Godzillasimp: we get it 

Godzillasimp: the feeling of being alive is driving wildly down roads with the windows down 

Godzillasimp:...shit that actually makes sense 

OiOikawa: and this is your life…

Godzillasimp: as I am aware 

OiOikawa: mountains high and the valleys low 

Godzillasimp: oi I’m over the fence hold on dumbarse 

OiOikawa: and this is your heart charging into the great unknown 

Godzillasimp: unknown? 

Godzillasimp: the only thing unknown to me in your bedroom is how tf my hoodie got in there dumbarse 

OiOikawa: and this is breathing and seeing it go 

Godzillasimp: if you keep in being philosophical I might have to punch you 

OiOikawa: and this is the feeling, the feeling 

Godzillasimp: me punching you makes you feel alive? 

Godzillasimp: what should make you feel alive is breathing, you know that right? 

OiOikawa: of being alive 

Godzillasimp: if I get in there and you are bleeding out in the bathtub I am going to actually kill you 

OiOikawa: of being alive 

Godzillasimp:...this isn’t about nationals right? 

Godzillasimp: you know that we did our best 

OiOikawa: of being alive 

OiOikawa: of being alive 

He was tackled from his bed, landing on the floor with a loud ‘umph’. A warm body was pressed up against his back. Two thick arms were circled around his waist. He felt spiky, coarse hair rub against the back of his neck, he, for some reason, was crying again. Why was he crying? Why couldn’t someone just explain it to him? Why did everything have to be so hard? He didn’t understand. Humans were so hard to understand. He didn’t understand. He pressed himself up against the body as he was lifted up and seated into a lap, two strong hands holding his biceps. 

“You alright shittykawa?”  
That gruff voice, the one he loved so much, the one that held so many memories of freedom and release was whispered into his ear. He purred, he tucked his feet under Iwaizumi’s calfs, rubbing against his chest to try and warm up a bit since he was pretty cold despite it being a hot summer. 

“Mhm, just a bit emotional Iwa-chan.”   
He smiled sadly, turning his head to look at his best friend turned crush through his brown curls. Iwaizumi stared back with hazel eyes, more green than brown though, he had always had large eyebrows, a flatter nose and those hazel green eyes, those features had always stayed despite the strong jaw, scarred skin and frown lines that marred that beautiful tanned face like a map, as if daring someone to find the X. 

“You’re staring, is something on my face?”   
He grunted, a warm puff of air hit his pale skin, making Tooru shiver a bit. He didn’t stop staring though. Rather than answer he shook his head, he didn’t trust his voice not to crack under the lie for there was too much of Iwaizumi’s face. Every adventure, every story, every time he blinked and breathed and ate and drank and sang and shouted was on his face, placed there like little blotches of ink that get onto your fingers when you are writing with an ink pen. He simply looked away, rubbing his head against Hajime’s, wondering if his heart would stay silent behind its echoing cage made of surprisingly supple bones.

“Why is your hair wet?”   
He felt fingers twist and curl into his damp hair. The fingers were warm and rough against his scalp, callouses made by volleyballs, skin rough due to climbing trees, scaling walls and pushing himself into his stupid best friend’s window. 

“Mmm, I went to dance in the thunderstorm like always.”   
Oikawa blinked slowly, like a cat when it feels safe. He felt safe in Iwaizumi’s arms, he could give it all up now, spill all his secrets but in some ways that was dangerous and so he did not fully close his eyes. 

“Why do you do that? You’ll get sick and I’ll never hear the end of it.”   
Iwaizumi pressed his face into Oikawa’s shoulder, he could feel the movement of lips against his pale skin, like a brief but intimate kiss but of course this was Iwaizumi, his best friend, who loved his girlfriend. 

“Well I feel closer to the angels when I’m in a thunderstorm. Soaked to the skin, shook up with sound, waiting for my bones to before endless branches of white light like wings.”   
Oikawa hummed, nuzzling his face into Iwaizumi’s cheek, relishing the warmth of another body. 

“You don’t need to dance in a thunderstorm to be an Angel, just look in the mirror dumbarse.”  
Iwaizumi grunted, he could hear the slur in his friend’s words. He watched as those hazel green eyes slowly dropped shut, thick eyelashes dusting tanned cheeks. 

“Love you too Iwa-chan!”  
Oikawa grinned widely. He felt happiness burst in his chest, he supposed he could let Hajime sleep for a couple of minutes, not like they’d miss practice.


	9. Calm down Jamal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this got a little deep....  
> Anyway, If yall have questions you want answered, no matter what they are just leave a comment down below _(:3 」∠)_!!  
> All comments are appreciated and they make my heart go WEUGH!!
> 
> ;3;
> 
> ANOTHER THING   
> I’m working on a one shot (or two chapters) that is gonna be like...really long...bc ya know, it be like dat sometimes so the next couple of chapters may be shorter!

They missed morning practice. Hanamaki and Matsukawa found it hilarious, Yahaba, Kunimi and Kindaichi were slightly annoyed since Iwaizumi wasn’t there to take Kyotani but worst of all was Ichiko who glared all but holes into Oikawa’s back. He felt like he was walking on eggshells all day, trying to avoid Ichiko as much as he could, he didn’t want her to snap at him because he wasn’t sure how much more he could take before he snapped and slaughtered her...technically he really shouldn’t care about that though, he didn’t care about killing her, her death would be nothing to him but Iwaizumi’s reaction? He couldn’t imagine Iwa-chan’s face as he clutched the remains of his beloved girlfriend to his chest, staring, horrified at his once best friend. He didn’t wanna see that. 

Matsukawa slung an arm around his shoulders, they were sitting on the grass near the running track, luckily for Tooru his fangirls weren’t dumb, he has a loyal following since middle school who acted like the heads of the club and knew what each of his actions meant, instead of finding it creepy he found it endearing, they knew when to get the girls away from him and they knew when he needed that attention just by looking at him and for some stupid reason he loved it? Sure, sometime they were creepy but it didn’t matter, whenever it was Valentine’s Day or one of their birthdays he would write a letter and bake them a muffin and leave it in their locker, they knew he would never date them and yet they still acted like that background backup he desperately hoped to keep around and he was forever grateful! 

There were five girls, Sara was the oldest, she was in his year but also the longest, she has been around since nursery, they used to be somewhat friends, that had faded and they didn’t hang out as much but on a handful of occasions he had acted at the gay best friend as well as the boyfriend when she needed it, next was Aoi, her family has worked as the grounds people for his household for a couple of years, she was the only person who knew about his mother and she stood like a rock when he needed that reassurance, when her mother as fallen sick he has been the one to help her with housework, he didn’t understand Japanese that well back then and so she shared her younger brother’s baby books with him till he got used to reading Hiragana, he still thought of her whenever he wrote something down. Akari was a spitfire, she had been the one in middle school to get into a fight because some girl has grabbed his arse which he didn’t appreciate, ever since then he would buy her new earrings and piercings for her birthday, he once even bought the most expensive red hair dye he could find and the next day she came in with most of her head a blood red except for her bangs which she kept black, he thought she was awesome! Yui was very calm, she liked to give him tea on Valentine’s Day so he gave her different incense and tea cups for her birthday and Valentine’s Day, he had met her at a shrine once, apparently her family worked there. Last but not least was Sakai, she was...well what wasn’t she? A fireball of energy but also calm and collected when needed? She was literally a rocket, ready to rev up whenever needed ya know? She loved space as much as he did so he would buy her little alien themed things for her birthday, honestly it made his heart fill with pride when he saw her wearing one of his presents. 

Oikawa felt a weight on his back, it brought him out of his daydream quickly. He jumped slightly and turned his head around only to be met with a facefull of fuzzy blonde hair. 

“Mad dog-chan?”  
He felt his voice quiver, he felt his ears burn from the embarrassment of his voice cracking just because he saw his (favourite) kohai leaning against him. 

“Tch shut up, yer gonna ruin the mood.”  
The blonde thumped his head against Oikawa’s, as if telling him to face forward again, he did so without a word. 

“Wow we certainly do have the pick ‘n mix here huh?”  
A shrill voice seemed to crackle through the air like a blown up light bulb, Oikawa rolled his eyes. 

“Ichiko, to what do we owe the pleasure?”  
Matsukawa sneered, leaning against his captain as if the poor guy was a wall but alas, Oikawa was only somewhat human and the extra weight made him tip slightly, he shoved his hand out onto the ground. His serving hand. He hissed when he felt pain shoot up his wrist from the awkward angle. 

“I want to talk to your little captain since he apparently didn’t listen to me last time.”  
She stomped into view, Oikawa had to bite back a sigh at the sight of her. 

“Oh hello Ichiko! Iwa-chan mentioned you wanting to become our manager?”  
How long till Friday? How long till he could get shit faced with the other captain, party like it was the last day on Earth and hopefully wake up with no memories of the previous night except stupid tattoos and videos posted online? 

“Mhm I’m sure he did! You see, he is good like that~ when you ask for something he will follow your orders because that’s just who he is!” She crouched down as if talking to a child.

“And well, when you call for him to come around while he is sleeping? It’s not only pissing me off but it means he gets less sleep yeah? So how about you fucking drop your needy act and while you at it, get rid of the Iwa-chan name, it’s Iwaizumi.”  
She snapped and Tooru grinned, god she was so pathetic. 

“Oh? Well, I talked to the coaches and they said that they’d love you as the manager!”  
He purred, eyes glinting in the sun, pupils turning to sharp slits which probably wasn’t normal. 

“Mmm I’ll have to think about the other things though! Iwa-chan of course doesn’t have to come around! He chooses to! I’ve never forced him into anything in my life.”  
He gave her a sick grin, he would’ve punched her if it wasn’t for Kyotani’s hand gripping his wrist tightly, he didn’t want to hurt this bitch in front of his precious baby mad dog! 

“Ugh you’re insufferable!”  
She raised her hand and struck him across the cheek, he felt a slight pinch of pain that stood out from the tingling. He raised his hand to his face and felt wetness against his fingers, he pulled them away and stared at the bluey red blood that stained his finger tips. She paused as if she regretted her choices. 

“Fucking bitch!”  
He snarled and kicked out his leg, hitting her in the knee which sent her back tumbling. 

“Touch me again and I’ll rip your fucking eyes out and shove them down your throat so you can watch as I rip your carcass open!”  
He felt his teeth sharpen to fangs, nails ached as they grew into claws, eyes burnt as they seemed to glow that toxic blue that was the trademark colour for Godzilla. She got up and half ran, half limped off. He sighed and settled back down, his eyes cooled down, his claws fell out as nails regrew in their place but his fangs stayed. 

“Jesus fuck Oikawa, if you had kicked her any harder you might’ve shattered her knee!”  
Matsukawa exasperated, mouth agape, he seemed to have missed the glowing eyes, that or his mind blocked it out. 

“Ugh I wish, then she’d stop fluttering around my Iwa-chan!”  
He pouted and grabbed Kyotani’s hand, gripping it tightly with his long slender fingers, he seemed to be completely oblivious to the wet blood that made the blonde shudder slightly. 

“Your?”  
Matsukawa grinned, he looked so smug. One bushy eyebrow raised, a cheeky glint in his eyes. 

“You look like the cat who swallowed the canary.”  
Oikawa sighed, rolling his eyes. He didn’t like that grin, it made him shudder but not in fear, more like he was uncomfortable. 

“It’s nothing, I find it funny how you called him yours is all.”  
The ravenette waved it off, shrugging as he did so. 

“...Do you think Iwa-chan will ever love me back?”  
He supposed the question was a bit too deep for a Thursday lunchtime, he didn’t care though, this question was much more important than any awkwardness or tension the same question might cause. 

“No, probably not.”  
Matsukawa’s words were harsh but they were probably true. Oikawa looked at him with confusion written on his face.

“Whenever he gets a girlfriend you mold yourself to almost fit into them...I don’t think there is anything you could do to make him fall in love with you. If he does he will fall in love with you, not some carefully crafted mask that is a mish mash of previous girlfriend but you don’t show him you..you show him a mask and so I don’t think he will ever love you back because you’re too scared to show him your true self.”  
The sharp eyed boy’s words were true which probably made it harder for Oikawa to swallow. He didn’t want that answer but he also knew it was the true answer. It was for the same reason he never dated, everyone who asked him out were just in love with his masks, not Oikawa Tooru, not that ancient and pained animal who, in truth, just wanted companionship. Tooru stared forward, he gently placed a hand over his chest.

“Having all those emotions in you must feel like you’re drowning…”  
Kyotani’s voice was quiet, Matsukawa jumped while Oikawa smiled sadly, mad-dog’s body was warm against his back, he appreciated it. 

“Did you know that when you’re drowning you don’t inhale until the very last moment, the instinct to stay alive is so strong you won’t open your mouth until you feel like your head is exploding. Then when you do finally inhale that’s when it stops hurting.”  
Tooru always stuck to facts, he liked to fall back into the safety net of knowledge when he was distressed. Emotions were confusing, humans were so incredibly complex and they had so many different reactions to hundreds upon thousands of situations and it was so hard for him to remember it all, his senses were overwhelmed, his brain and heart hurt and so he stuck to knowledge, spitting facts till the pain went away. 

“I’m fine except for the no sleeping and the constant feeling like I’m not in the right body...like I should just swim into the ocean and never come back…”  
Of course he meant that this human form and mind was not his natural state. It was like trying to fit a box through a hole meant for a rectangle. There were some similarities but not enough for it to be passable, that was him trying to contain Godzilla in this fragile state. 

“It’s like every time I try to understand what all of it means I can’t breath.”  
He raised his hand to his face, digging his nails into his skull, tugging at his hair.

“Like a panic attack?”  
His kohai’s voice softened further, he felt bad for the pup. 

“Yeah…”  
Oikawa mumbled, grateful that Matsukawa hadn't touched him, he could deal with Kyotani because...well he didn’t know why actually, sometimes his brain just picked out people that could touch him while when some others did it he would scratch and rub his skin against things until the skin fell away and blood seeped through. 

“So it’s like you’re drowning?”  
Matsukawa stated thoughtfully, Oikawa grunted in conformation. 

“So, if you’re drowning and you’re trying to keep your mouth closed till that very last second, what if you choose to keep your mouth shut?”  
The bushy eyebrowed man turned his head towards the sky, the question made Oikawa let go of his hair, confusion once again painting his face. 

“But...it’s an instinct, you can’t just...ignore it? That’s like telling a cat not to purr or a dog not to eat! You can’t just not do what’s been ingrained into your mental and physical being because it’s a reflex.”  
Tooru stared at his friend as if he had grown a second head, the Greek boy simply sighed. 

“But what if you hold off till that reflex kicks in? You would have more time right?”  
Matsukawa rubbed his neck, smiling wistfully at the ground, mischievous eyes shut. 

“Well yeah I guess but not much time.”

“But more time to fight your way to the surface? More time to be saved? More time to calm down and realise what’s happening?”  
The ravenette’s voice held purpose while Oikawa hadn’t heard in awhile.

“More time to be in agonising pain...did you forget about the part where I said you feel like your head is exploding? Would someone really wanna go through that pain for nothing?”  
Oikawa huffed, Matsukawa was being stupid. All humans had this sort of resilience to death, they didn’t want to die and so they kept trying to come up with ways to stay alive, even the ones that said they wanted to die regretted trying to kill themselves afterwards, it was as if having a higher intelligence than other species meant you lost that basic understanding that you will die. 

“But if it’s about survival isn’t a little agony worth it?”  
Matsukawa turned to face him as if he could read Tooru’s mind, as if he was saying that embracing life meant accepting death but he didn’t get it, why was this human different from the rest? 

“But what if it’s agony now then hell later on?”  
He retorted, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to wrap his mind around the human’s words. The humans were a weird and incredible bunch, fascinated with their beginning and ignoring how they would end, they seemed to forget they too were animals just like he was. They ignored their primal instinct, teaching their young to forget how their inner animal wails while their human mind that separated them from the rest told them they were above that animal voice but in truth were they? Animals and humans end up the same after all, dead in the ground, skin, blood, muscle and bone rotted away leaving handprints of their life in their wake. 

“But what if it isn’t?”  
Those words seemed to split the sea of confusion clouding his mind. Once he had been asked by one of the people in the orphanage if he would rather experience emotions without knowing what they meant or knowing emotions but not experiencing them. He had replied he would rather know than not know. His answer seemed to surprise the woman because she had asked him why he would rather not experience emotions, he said it was because knowledge showed that human intelligence while she replied that living without emotions meant you could not truly experience life, she went on to explain that every animal has emotions, even if they didn’t quite understand them. 

“I don’t get it, why would you run from death?”  
He tilted his head to the side, his usually light brown eyes now dark with thought. 

“Because it doesn’t mean you stood still in life, it means you want to keep on living, you don’t want to leave this experience behind.”  
Matsukawa chuckled, he looked sad...so incredibly sad. 

“But we all die, everything comes to an end because life is temporary, all things great and small die...none can hide from death no matter how hard they try.”  
Oikawa laughed bitterly, Mothra, his dearest wife had died, she had faced it shakingly but did not back down, she charged forward into that endless sleep, knowing she would not survive but carried on anyway. 

“You should treasure your moment though because beauty fades, that is why it is beautiful. What if you died tomorrow, you don’t know what will come afterwards do you? What if you are reborn and you don’t understand why you miss something you can’t understand? What if you weep in the dark because you don’t know who it is you want, you don’t know why you’re so sad that you’ve forgotten something you can’t even remember?”  
Matsukawa seemed desperate, his voice cracked and his eyes shone with unshed tears. Oikawa stared at him, keeping his teeth clenched so he didn’t ask any questions. He opened his arms and Matsukawa slipped into a hug, Oikawa hugged him tightly, rubbing his back softly. 

“You sound like you’ve been through some shit.”  
Kyotani mumbled, snuggling his way between the two third years, Oikawa cooed at him but the blonde snarled back, face flushed red. Matsukawa choked as he laughed, the laugh was wet with tears and Kyotani pressed his head underneath Issei’s head, face shoved into the tanned skin of his neck. 

“Yeah...yeah I have...I’m not ready to share it yet but maybe one day I will.”  
His accent was thicker now, usually he sounded more or less fully Japanese but he had grown up in Greece, being taught Japanese by a tutor and so the accent sometimes slipped in. 

“Just...we’re here for you ‘n shit I suppose.”  
Kyotani mumbled, face burning red like a fire hydrant. The first year very rarely showed this much kindness but when he did it was adorable, causing Oikawa to fawn over him like a bleating mother which usually made Kyotani even more flustered and the poor boy usually ended up squawking incoherently while getting a bear hug from Tooru. 

“Yeah yeah I know.”  
Matsukawa wetly chuckled, rubbing his face into the fuz of Kyotani’s shaved hair.

“I think we should go get out tongues pierced…”  
Oikawa stated, blankly staring at the school building, the thought passed through his head when he thought of a way to bond and for some reason he thought getting tongue piercings would be the way to go.

“Wtf no, my brother would kill me.”  
Kyotani grunted, his face scrunched up into one of disgust and judgement. 

“You have a brother??”  
Oikawa squawked. He had never been told this!

“Yeah, I live with my uncle and my brother.”  
The first year swirled around a bit so he was sitting on both Matsun’s and Oikawa’s lap, the third years didn’t mind, Kyotani was like their younger brother or a son really. 

“Do we know them?”  
Matsun placed his cheek on Kyotani’s head, rubbing his fingers against the buzz cut. 

“Yeah, Johzenji’s Captain, Yūji Terushima is my brother..well I suppose he is actually my cousin but his parents left him when he was just a kid and so my uncle took him in. My uncle is Keishin Ukai, he took my grandfather’s name, my mother on the other hand took my grandmother’s since they had a divorce...things got shitty, ma got pregnant real young and had me when she was seventeen, ended up becoming a hooker while my uncle always believed she could do better for herself, get back into archery and go to the olympics and shit but she believed it was too late for her...she told me that if she died I had to take her bow and carry on the legacy so to say, some client stormed in and killed her one night while I was hiding in the back of the sofa which is where I usually hid when she had client an’ shit. M’ cousin, Terushima, came over because his mother sold him for drug money but his father got him out of the house cause even if he hated his son he still didn’t want that fate for him ya know? Anyway, he came over and saw my mother dead on her bed, choked to death or some shit like that so he grabbed me, we packed a bag and ran off. We got to ma uncle’s shop which he was workin in cause it was the summer and he was home from uni. He didn’t tell grandpa what had happened but I suppose the old man has his suspicions because he have Ukai enough to send both of us to school and now we’re here…”  
Kyotani spoke as if the story was boring him which he found rather amusing. Matsun paused, eyes widening, he had spoken so calmly despite the worrying story. 

“What...I...are you okay? That’s a lot to unpack.”  
Matsun mumbled, still gobsmacked from the story. Oikawa smacked his arm, Issei yelped and stuck his tongue out at his captain, Kyotani huffed out a snort and shook his head.

“Nah it’s okay..I’m just glad to share it I guess.”  
The blonde looked up at the canopy of green leaves that seemed oh so peaceful, unaffected by the varying tales of the humans below. Perhaps that’s what he wanted to be, a tree, oh so old and oh so strong, listening to the stories of humans and whispering their words when the wind blew through their leaves so the tales would spread far and wide. Maybe that’s why he joined Seijou in the first place, nature was here first and nature will be the last life this planet will see, it stands forever changing but forever there, even if some of it gets killed and paved over with concrete, even when owls pick at it to make their nests, crows squawk and fight with cats on it, when swans and eagles tear away at it, snakes wrap around trees and hunt, iron walls placed down into the ground, cutting and destroying that nature it will always be there in the end. When that iron wall has rusted away, when the cats, eagles, swans, snakes, owls and crows have taken their final breath and laid their eyes to close for a final time nature will still be there. That young sapling who watched that chick turn to a full feathered crow might be sad but it will see this process over and over again until the tree either dies or is cut down. That’s just the way nature was, maybe that’s what he needed, maybe that’s what he wanted to be...maybe that’s just how Aoba Johsai was.


	10. Don’t pull out the nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woah there is a lot in this! 
> 
> The thing about Oikawa saying death doesn’t scare him was actually from my group chat lol! 
> 
> The idea for the mate struck me when I saw a post on Pinterest of Godzilla waking up to a dark red Godzilla’s face in front of him! 
> 
> Godzilla is actually a species! Since the Godzilla we know is the last of his kind but somehow had a kid in the films I decided to add that in. 
> 
> Will this lead into an mpreg??? Probably not but who knows what will happen in the future! ;)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Oikawa stared up at his ceiling, rain pelted at his window. Old glow in the dark stars stuck in vague semblance of constellations, LED lights glowing a very light red, on the lowest darkness the remote would allow, fluffy cat paw socks on his feet that Hanamaki had got for him as a novelty gift and that stupid hoodie that swallowed him unfairingly. 

He felt his phone buzz against his chest but could he really be bothered to answer? He grabbed his shorts by the waist and hoisted them up futher, tying the strings into a bow to keep them at the proper height, he had been loosing some fat and he was actually quite proud! 

His phone buzzed again. He still ignored it. Tooru tied his hair back into a sort of messy ponytail so the front bits wouldn’t hang down into his eyes, he should really get his hair cut but he liked it long...Oikawa Tooru liked it long. He slipped his fingers beneath his glasses and pawed at his eyes, rubbing them in a circular motion. 

His phone buzzed again. He turned it on. 

BoogieWoogieWoogie

TuTushima: yeah I know right!

TuTushima: like

TuTushima: I would let him choke me

TuTushima: especially with those piercings!!

Litten: eh????

Litten: but I thought I was your favourite 🥺🥺

TuTushima: you are but like 

TuTushima: I’m horny for anyone who is hot and has dummy thicc muscles 

WhoWho: ….

TuTushima: EXCEPT BOKUTO

TuTushima: HE SEEMS TO VANILLA FOR ME 😇🙃

WhoWho: 🙂🙃🙂😌

OiOikawa: what are yall talking about?? 

Litten: yoooo it’s my man’s 

Sangwoah: errrr

Sangwoah: sKiNnY pEniS 

TuTushima: oh shit 

TuTushima: well you probably already know this but like 

TuTushima: there is this hot dude 

OiOikawa: so??

Litten: Just wait for it babs 💞💕💖💓

OiOikawa: 💕🥺💕

TuTushima: and so like he is in Highschool yeah 

TuTushima: in an Aoba Johsai uniform!!

OiOikawa: oh shit

TuTushima: yh!!!

TuTushima: anyway, here he comes in all tanned skin galore 

TuTushima: asking for some piercings 

TuTushima: this happened like at lunch 

OiOikawa: from your uncles place??

OiOikawa: that’s like 

OiOikawa: almost on the other side of Miyagi though lolol

TuTushima: 🤣😂 IKR!

OiOikawa: anyway so what about this guy?

TuTushima: so he gets snake bites, his left eyebrow amd one bar through his right ear okay 

TuTushima: keep in mind he already has his lobes pierces at least once cause I could see the holes 

OiOikawa: carry on 🤨

TuTushima: so he pays them offers fo help my uncle carry in some shit bc like this man is build like a fucking brick shit house 

TuTushima: so he strips off his blazer, jumper shirt and tie so he is just in the Aoba Johsai vest 

TuTushima: this man 

TuTushima: 😫😫😩😩🥵🥵

TuTushima: tanned skin galore paired with large rough hands and massive biceps 

OiOikawa:....I feel like I know who you are talking about…

Litten: knew it 

TuTushima: then afterwards my uncle is shocked so he arm wrestles him and my uncle gets smashed by a teenager at least four inches shorter than him 

TuTushima: then the guy books in to get some more ear piercings like next week 

TuTushima: this half kid then leaves and as he is walking out he has his shit over his shoulder so his muscles are flexing and his back 

TuTushima: 🥵🥵🥵😳😳

TuTushima: then from the sweat sticking to his vest I could see scratches

TuTushima: sex scratches down his shoulder blades and ugh

TuTushima: daddy pOuNd mE

OiOikawa: …

OiOikawa: I’ll tell him he has a simp

TuTushima: you know him??????

OiOikawa: I feel like I do 

OiOikawa: @Babayaga 

Babayaga: yh babe 💓💕💖💚❣️💘

OiOikawa: was Iwa gone during lunch 

Babayaga: yh 

Babayaga: I had last two lessons with him and he didn’t turn up 

OiOikawa: neither did Ichiko 

OiOikawa: usually I can feel her glaring at my skull but today there was nothing 

Babayaga: why??

OiOikawa: back read 

Babayaga: aight 

•  
•  
•  
•  
•  
Babayaga: holy shit 

Babayaga: did the guy have green eyes and black spiky hair?? 

TuTushima: yeah about the hair but I can’t quite remember the eyes 

OiOikawa: did he have a scar over his left shoulder and one of his right bicep? 

TuTushima: yh now that you mention it he did lol

OiOikawa: ugh great so Iwa-chan went to go get piercings 

TuTushima: ?? What’s wrong with piercings ??

OiOikawa: I don’t care about that 

OiOikawa: he skipped school with pretty little Ichiko to go get piercings and probably fucked in an alley bc he didn’t have no scratches this morning 

Babayaga: great 

Babayaga: coach is going to be fucking livid 

OiOikawa: yeah and I’m gonna have to cover for him 

OiOikawa: I mean a tattoo would’ve been easier bc clothes or supports ya know 

Babayaga: yh 

TuTushima: does your school not like piercings?

OiOikawa: it’s a private school 

OiOikawa: what do ya think??

OiOikawa: it’s prestigious and fuckin annoying 

OiOikawa: one time I didn’t bring my tie and the only reason they didn’t give me detention was because the old captain leant me his and changed into his sports uniform 

Babayaga: oh shit I remember that 

Babayaga: I always thought you were fucking him 

Litten: woah what??

OiOikawa: nah that was Atsumu 

Sangwoah: huh 

Sangwoah: I had forgotten about that

Babayaga: oh yh! Hanamaki thought you were being sexually abused lol

OiOikawa: ah those were fun times

Sangwoah: painful the

Sangwoah: you treated my back like a scratching post 

OiOikawa: okay like and??

OiOikawa: you actually bit me!

Sangwoah:....

Sangwoah: you didn’t complain- 

OiOikawa: because it felt good! 

OiOikawa: I’m not just gonna let you tie me up and bite me if I don’t enjoy it 

Sangwoah: understandable 

Litten: wOaH WH A T???

Sangwoah: we used to fuck 

Sangwoah: but we don’t anymore 

OiOikawa: yh

OiOikawa: no strings attached kinda shit 

Litten: damn

Litten: Oikawa you kinky bitch 

Sangwoah: you have no idea 

OiOikawa: says you!!

OiOikawa: one of the first years asked if I had gotten into a fight with an octopus!!

Litten: BWAHGHGHGHGHAHAHA

Sangwoah: s H u T u P

Sangwoah: you liked to be choked! 

OiOikawa: ….

OiOikawa: not that hard- 

Sangwoah: oh yeah sorry didn’t really “not that hard” mean bruises lol 

TuTushima: ...what about the hot guy? 

OiOikawa: oh yh I forgot about that lol

Minecraftfox: you two had a sexual relationship?

Sangwoah: yh but not anymore 

OiOikawa: we both realised we liked people and so we both decided that because we didn’t have feelings for each other then we should stop 

Sangwoah: yeah we stopped last year 

Babayaga: ohhhh

Babayaga: then who left the marks last month? 

OiOikawa: ….no o n e

Sangwoah: woah woah woah 

Sangwoah: was it Mr. Lover man~?

OiOikawa: Tch

OiOikawa: it was my body guard! 

Litten: mega oof 

Babayaga: pfff

Sangwoah: damn Oiks you really are afraid of confessing 

OiOikawa: shUTUP 

Sangwoah: oOoOo~ someone’s embarrassed 

Sangwoah: I bet you miss him huh?

Sangwoah: wanna be wrapped up in his warm embrace and get lots of kisses uwu~?

OiOikawa. ...Kita?

Minecraftfox: yes? 

OiOikawa: Atsumu told me that he wants you to wear his hoodie with his name on it around school because he likes the whole possessive shit

Sangwoah: JSJXKJABXJAJNSOIKAWA YOU SLUT 

OiOikawa: Lol

Sangwoah: IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU 

Minecraftfox: (-////-)

Sangwoah: nonowaithewadjustlyinv

Minecraftfox: so I can’t wear it? 

Sangwoah: I never said that! 

Minecraftfox: so you want for me to wear it? 

Sangwoah: hngh- 

Sangwoah: wjjxiakmdkwkbdksw

Babayaga: yh he does lol

Litten: yh when @Fuckoff wears my jerseys it’s hot af 

Minecraftfox: I see 

OiOikawa: DO IT 

OiOikawa: WHIMP

OiOikawa: TAKE ME OUT OF THIS WORLD SO I DON’T HAVE TO 

OiOikawa: EVEN WORMS WILL TURN SLUT 

OiOikawa: THE THREAT OF DEATH DOES NOT SCARE ME 

OiOikawa: FOR IT WILL COME ANYWAY

OiOikawa: WETHER IT BE TODAY OR IN A HANDFUL OF YEARS I TOO SHALL JOING OUR BRETHREN IN THE WARM AND REJOICING SOIL THAT HOLDES OUR BONES AND THE SECRETS THAT COME WITH THEM

OiOikawa: YOU THREATEN ME UNAWARE THAT YOU TOO SHALL HAVE TO JOIN ME ONE DAY IN THAT DARK AND DAMP PLACE KNOWN AS DEATH

OiOikawa: INTO THE SWEET AND SOFT EMBRACE OR WHAT WE COME FROM AND WHERE WE ALL SHALL GO

OiOikawa:...wtf-

Sangwoah: YO @Asahesus COME EXORCISE THIS FUCK

Asaheuss: I- 

NOya: HE IS MY CHRISTIAN GET YOUR OWN 

Godzillasimp: shittykawa wtf 

OiOikawa: I don’t know???

Godzillasimp: do you need me to come over??

OiOikawa: is Ichiko there? 

Godzillasimp: no she is busy 

OiOikawa:...are you planning on meeting her tomorrow morning? 

Godzillasimp: yh

OiOikawa: what time do ya wanna sleep? 

Godzillasimp: well it’s Friday tomorrow so like...midnight I suppose

OiOikawa: okay you can come over but you can’t stay the night 

Godzillasimp: aight bet 

You’remydad: are we still invited Oikawa? 

Litten: ^

HoeHoe: ^

TuTushima: ^

Minecraftfox: ^

Snek: ^

OiOikawa: yh ive got the tickets, we’ll get the train from Miyagi then meet yall in front of the hotel

OiOikawa: well get our rooms, dump our shit, relax then head to supper 

OiOikawa: on Saturday we have the face mask/spa then we can go shopping + dinner 

OiOikawa: Sunday we relax, maybe just sit by the pool, pack and sign out 

OiOikawa: we go home on Sunday then on Monday school 

Litten: sexy 

HoeHoe: yayyayaya!!

TuTushima: sounds sick 

You’remydad: are we still able to bring someone??

OiOikawa: I mean...yh but like, I wanted it to be a captains holiday ya know? 

You’remydad: no I understand 

Minecraftfox: okay, what time is check in? 

OiOikawa: six 

OiOikawa: but because I’ve booked the suite rooms so we can always check in earlier 

Litten: rich tings ~

OiOikawa: lol 

OiOikawa: when you guys get there, if I’m not there say to the front desk you’re a guest of Oikawa

OiOikawa: it’s a real fancy business hotel so they won’t really what teenagers there but since you’re my guest they’ll send you up lot take you to a private lounge 

HoeHoe: holy frick

HoeHoe: I’m being real rich 

OiOikawa: lolol

OiOikawa: it’s fun having enough money to literallh do anything 

OiOikawa: but that does mean life is easy 

OiOikawa: yes I don’t have to worry about finance but I still have to worry about shit like stock markets, banks, businesses, inflation, interest, offshore accounts and shit

HoeHoe: yh no that makes sense 

OiOikawa: yh 

OiOikawa: but I still gotta worry about fake snakes, hoes, homework and scholarships 

Litten: why you get a scholarship if you rich rich?

OiOikawa: cause I work hard and things like scholarships helps keeps me grounded 

OiOikawa: they only offer it to me if there is no one else who desperately needs it 

OiOikawa: ya know? 

Litten: Yeah damn 

Minecraftfox: understandable 

OiOikawa: @Godzillasimp

Godzillasimp: ???

OiOikawa: I can’t be bothered to entertain you 

OiOikawa: so don’t come around 

Babayaga: what on Earth?? This is the most heartbreaking divorce I’ve witnessed!

Babayaga: who on earth will take the kids??

Babayaga added Feral, Peachscene, Pillow, Yallugly and Yahano to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

Peachscene: wtf Mattsun? 

Babayaga: makkiiiiiikik

Peachscene: was up?

Babayaga: it’s Oikawa and Iwaizumi 

Peachscene: what about them? 

Babayaga: they…

Babayaga: they are getting divorced!!!

Peachscene: omg the world is ending fuck children choose your parent 

Yallugly: dibs on Iwaizumi 

Pillow: dibs on Iwaizumi 

Yahano: dibs on Iwaizumi 

Feral: dibs on Oikawa 

Peachscene:..... Mad-dog tf 

Feral: idk I feel like Oikawa would make a better parent 

Feral: supportive and shit 

Feral: feeds you good food and makes sure your mental health is okay and stuff 

OiOikawa:...do you wanna hug? 

Feral: tmrw

OiOikawa: ok <3

Feral: …<3

Babayaga: erm son what about me???

Feral: nah you’re like low-key married to Makki so im gonna go live with Oikawa lol bye 

Pillow: now that I think about it Oikawa would let me sleep in….plus he had nice conditioner…

Pillow: I’m gonna live with Oikawa too 

Pillow: I feel like he’d let me do my own thing ya know 

Pillow: Iwaizumi would probably make us wake and go for a run and shit 

Pillow: Oikawa just wouldn’t 

Godzillasimp: wait 

Godzillasimp: why don’t you want me coming around? 

OiOikawa: ugh I don’t know 

OiOikawa:...I just

OiOikawa: something feels off ya know? 

OiOikawa: it’s like when you are walking and you feel off then something weird happens 

Godzillasimp: I don’t get it…

OiOikawa: I feel like if you come round something bads gonna happen 

OiOikawa: like a robbery or you’ll fall down the stairs or something 

Godzillasimp: stop being weird Shittykawa

Godzillasimp: Ichiko texted me 

Godzillasimp: she said that coach has emailed her and said she will take the place of manager 

Godzillasimp: so she’ll be coming with us to the training thing next week 

OiOikawa: oh? Is she? 

OiOikawa: I’ve already bought all the tickets for the team 

Godzillasimp: cant you just get one for her? 

OiOikawa: I’m not sure 

OiOikawa: it’s very close to the flight so prices would’ve rised

Godzillasimp: you’re rich! It would be like dropping a penny down the sofa for you 

OiOikawa: if you want me to get her a ticket you’re certainly going about the wrong way 

Godzillasimp: ugh shittykawa

OiOikawa: it’s my money 

OiOikawa: give me a reason why I should

OiOikawa: no other managers are coming 

Godzillasimp: ugh 

Godzillasimp: just- 

Godzillasimp: Tooru please

OiOikawa:....

OiOikawa: fine 

Godzillasimp: thank you 

Godzillasimp: are you free tmrw night? 

OiOikawa: no 

OiOikawa: I’m going to Tokyo with Daichi, Ushijima and Terushima 

Godzillasimp: wtf? 

OiOikawa: captains holiday 

Godzillasimps: I oh…..

OiOikawa: why? 

Godzillasimp: I wanted to hang out and shit 

OiOikawa: oh? 

Godzillasimp: yh I need help picking things out for Ichiko’s birthday 

OiOikawa:....

OiOikawa: jdjajdjAHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHH

Godzillasimp: wtf

OiOikawa: go swallow a whole grape 

Oikawa grunted and turned off his phone. He put it face down and opened his window, he stared at the woods, they didn’t scare him as much as it scared most people but that was probably because he was the King of the Monsters, he had defeated people’s worst nightmares. In all honesty the feeling of being on edge was common to him, he was ancient and had once lived in a time where he was nothing more than a large animal part of a species. But now? After getting hit by an increased level of radiation shit had gone wild, his DNA changed then something had happened and he had reproduced which was still the weirdest thing that had happened to him. Apparently he was asexual, he had learnt this in biology class much akin to many other animals. 

Something else he had learnt was that marine iguanas and Komodo dragons could possibly be descendants of the Godzilla species so that had made him smile and feel comforted in a way that he hadn’t been since his mother who used to float on her back and let him lay on her chest as she cleaned him. 

He hadn’t always been alone though, once he had a mate, before Mothra. His old mate had been one of his species, a dark red scaled Godzilla who was an alpha male. At the time Tooru had been the equivalent of a teenager which was a normal time for one of his species to get a mate. 

The alpha was young like him, they had mated and Tooru loved it, they did what all mates do, take out a scale from their foreheads then give your mate the scale so they replace their missing scale with their mate’s scale, they nested together, actually mated together, hunted together and most importantly they wanted to start a family together but then a MUTO had appeared and had slaughtered his mate, leaving Tooru confused and pained as he sobbed over the body of his lover. 

Then he met Mothra, at first they had been enemies but it has turned into a symbiotic relationship, they had been in love but not in the same way Tooru had been with his mate. He had shifted into a human for the first time with her, this had been in the country of Babylon and incidentally they became the King and Queen of Babylon, it was a bit more complex than that but it’s what he had. When he shifted the first thing he did was rip the red scale from his body, it was incredibly large and he literally had to hold it two hands but it changed the longer he held it, it became smaller and smaller until it was large enough to swear as a pendant. 

When Mothra had died he had been genuinely distraught. He killed Ghidorah by ripping one of his heads off then tearing into his chest and removing his heart, therefore becoming the King of the Monsters but he was alone and he didn’t like it so he jumped into the water and stayed underwater till he supposedly died then he woke up, laying on his back in the water with the scale on his chest in its original size, he pressed it to his forehead where the missing scale was and swam into some sort of ruins and fell asleep. 

When he pulled himself up onto a beach thirteen years ago he had shifted to a human but had forgotten about the scale. He was found on the island of Kinkasan and lived there until the age of ten which was when he was adopted by the Oikawas. It was about three weeks after he had initially been found, he was chosen by a couple who wanted to take him out for ice cream and for a beach day to get to know him better or something along those lines. He ran off, running in the direction that just felt right, he ended up on the beach, on his knees, digging furiously in the sand until his fingers brushed against something that wasn’t sand. The object was hard but soft, he pulled it out the sand, deep red, it was his mate’s scale. He pulled it out of the sand and held it close to his chest. He carried it all the way back to where the couple was furiously looking for him, they started at him, gobsmacked and wondering why this young kid ran away then came back holding a red shell looking object. They didn’t say much but did take him back to the orphanage. He refused to let go of the scale no matter how much the staff protested, eventually they let him keep it, he punched some kid in the face who tried to take it from him, stabbed another in the hand and actually bit a chunk out of some other brat, the kids eventually learnt to not try and take the scale from him. 

Tooru was adopted, taken to the Oikawa’s holiday home in the island then to the mainland within a week he was taken back into custody due to one of the maids calling in about domestic abuse. He was in custody again for a month and he met Hinata during that time but throughout the whole entire time he kept the scale in his presence. He was given back to the Oikawas and that’s when the scale finally shrunk, he had worn it on a chain around his neck since then.

If there was one thing he specifically remembered about his mate was his hazel eyes, more green than anything really. Two beautiful green eyes. Green eyes. Green eyes which he had seen recently. He sat up straight, hand flying to grip his hair. 

“Fuck, no no no there is no way..no he had brown eyes, brown eyes that just look green!”  
Oikawa pleaded. He grabbed his phone and despite his mind screaming at him not to, he opened the chat. 

Private message OiOikawa and Godzillasimp

OiOikawa: can you come over??? 

OiOikawa: like right now pls???


	11. no, no you can’t! please don’t go away, please? no ones ever stuck with me for so long before.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry but also I had to get that off my chest or i was going to suffocate! 
> 
> Sorry it’s so short, i just couldn’t add on anything after that ending. I can’t because I don’t know what comes next. I’m sorry guys, i will obviously post again but im not sure how long it’s gonna take. This is based off of something that’s happened and so I want the answer to be real as well but I don’t know what that’s gonna be so for now enjoy my short chapter!

Oikawa sat and waited, phone screen lighting up occasionally to announce a mixture of people posting on Instagram and videos being uploaded on YouTube, in all honesty he didn’t care. He told himself over and over again not to check his screen when it lit up because the way his heart started to beat faster when it did meant he was getting his hopes up and when he checked the screen and saw the lack of messages from Iwaizumi his heart got crushed over and over again.

He felt like he was choking because of it. Every time he looked at the screen out of the corner of his eyes that voice in his had berated him all over again.

‘See, he would never text you! Who on earth would want to talk to a freak like you huh? God you’re so fucking pathetic, look at you. What? You gonna cry? Please! You’re fucking disgusting you attention seeking whore look what you do to people you make them worry, but then again why should they? You’re a liability, a fucking disgrace, the world would be better without you and you know this, you really do just need to die ya know, everybody hates you, I mean, who could like you? You of all people, Oikawa Tooru? You’re fucking disgusting you just need to die already, you’re a waste of space, you know that they don’t want to be around you, they became your friend before they knew what was wrong with you and they’ll never know just how bad it is, why should you tell them? They’ll probably just tune out, everyone else does, you know you don’t deserve their friendship, you know that. Look at how much happier they are, everyone is better than you and you know that so why do you even try? How easy would it be to just disappear, how long till they notice? They wouldn’t even notice, no one would give a fuck that you’d be gone, that’s one of your worst fears isn’t it, being gone, well you should just disappear, give something for everyone to rejoice about, you’re pathetic thinking people would care that you’d be dead. You know they don’t care, you know it’s getting worse because the music can’t block it out any more...yeah you’re pathetic, just die already, look he’s forgotten, time do die I guess am I right because no one gives a shit, they believe your lies, they believe you’re okay and that’s how it’s gotta be, you can’t be depressed, that’s not how the world works because people have got it so much more worse than you and so you don’t matter! Simple as that 

I want to die I’m fat I’m ugly everything would be better if I were dead my mum wouldn’t get so angry I’d be doing everyone a fucking favour I should just kill myself I need to die I would be doing the world a favour no one would have to put up with me no one would have to be around me everything would be better I should just die already the sharp sound is back I need to die everyone would be doing better the world would be so much better without me think of how everyone’s life would be better I need to stop smiling so much I should just die wow, my mum wouldn’t get so angry she wouldn’t have to spend so much money on me the world would be fucking better, everything would be better, they wouldn’t have to put up with me everything would be better I really should just die.’

He sat down quietly, all balled up under his desk, knees bent up to his chest, face looking cowards at an awkward angle which made his neck ache but he didn’t care. Not this time. He knew that what he was thinking was irrational but that didn’t stop him from whispering those words. Whispering turned to speaking and speaking turned to choking sobs as he started to cry. Why was he crying though? He didn’t get it...he never had this problem before so where had it come from? Why was he acting like this? He tightly held a thumbtack pin in his grip, its translucent grip pressed against his skin. He held the point over his forearm, he pressed it to the crook of his elbow. It was better than cutting of course. He wouldn’t bleed. It probably wouldn’t go that far into the skin. It would be healed by tomorrow anyway. 

Godzillasimp: I can’t 

Godzillasimp: not tonight 

Godzillasimp: I’m sorry 

OiOikawa: oh wow a reply how pleasant such manners 

Godzillasimp: I’m sorry 

OiOikawa: do you actually mean that or are you trying to be nice 

OiOikawa: you know what? I don’t know why I try 

OiOikawa: I feel like I’m the only one carrying this friendship half the time

Godzillasimp: I’m sorry you feel like that Oikawa

Godzillasimp: I jus

OiOikawa: ??

Godzillasimp: I’m still pissed off about the jumper thing 

Godzillasimp: lyk

Godzillasimp: ik yu needed it 

OiOikawa: yeah I know and I get this but even before that

Godzillasimp: Buh i do care man 

Godzillasimp: like 

Godzillasimp: I have shit going on too 

OiOikawa: I know 

Godzillasimp: Nd I try juggle loads fam

Godzillasimp: Nd I’m not saying i don’t like talking to you cause i do 

Godzillasimp: but you come across very strong 

Godzillasimp: which isn’t a bad thing 

Godzillasimp: so don’t think that 

OiOikawa: ...sorry 

Godzillasimp: it’s jus hard for me to deal wit

OiOikawa: I’m sorry 

OiOikawa: sorry to annoy you 

Godzillasimp: don’t be 

OiOikawa: I won’t talk to you as much anymore 

OiOikawa: sorry 

Godzillasimp: don’t put it like that man 

OiOikawa: Well I mean, I come across too strong for a lot of people and I don’t know what it means so I don’t know how to fix it so to fix it I just won’t talk to you as much

OiOikawa: Because that will make it easier

OiOikawa: If anything I should’ve noticed it all sooner! I’m pretty stupid huh? And when i see you again I’ll give you back your jumper then I won’t bother you again :) sorry for being such a nuisance lol

Oikawa dropped his phone. Was that it? Did he just lose the only person he could trust? Did he just end it all like that? Why was he crying? How did he not realise before that he was too much? How did he not see it? Had Iwaizumi always felt like that? Had he been forcing Iwaizumi into this relationship? He didn’t know...he should’ve known, he should’ve realised the moment he felt like he was carrying the friendship cause when your friends with someone they text more than just a few lines, they don’t not read your messages do they? They don’t leave you wondering for ages do they? Of course not! It was his fault. He was to blame. He should’ve known better than to have dragged someone else into his shit. He should’ve realised this earlier instead of having to go through this again.

Oikawa opened his phone and changed Iwaizumi’s contact name to DON’T DO THIS TO YOURSELF because he couldn’t text Iwaizumi for awhile. He had to give him space. He couldn’t annoy him again. He couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t do this again. He really couldn’t do this all again. He had to stop. He shouldn’t of expected someone to be able to handle all of his shit. Not again. That wasn’t Iwaizumi’s job and look what he has done to the only person he had even felt safe with, he’d lost him. He couldn’t get close to someone, not again. Not ever again. 

It took him an hour to send another message. 

OiOikawa: Can I call you when you’re free? Not about my problems or shit but because I just wanna talk to you about this cause like, when I’m texting i either have a stroke from your spelling or I can’t tell in which tone of voice you mean when I read texts so whenever your free haha

It took him thirteen minutes to realise Iwaizumi would not reply. 

Ands that what hurt the most. 

Iwaizumi would not reply. 

And the cuts down his forearm reminded him how much of a freak he was. Because normal people didn’t do this to their friends. They didn’t stress out their friends this much. They weren’t as clingy as he was. He didn’t know what to do...he had always talked to Iwaizumi about his problems and this was the first time in two years he had to deal with this stuff by himself. He had gotten so used to sharing and getting advice that he didn’t know what to do anymore….where would he even start? 

It took him another nine minutes to realise he would never be able to take this back and that this was exactly what Iwaizumi was talking about. He was too much for everyone, that was just the hard truth. 

In total it took him an hour and twenty four minutes to stop crying. Now he just felt hollow...well no, not hollow but he couldn’t cry anymore - like the calm after the storm. 

He took in a deep breath. 

Was this fair? Should he really carry on this friendship anymore? He didn’t know but what he did know was that it was 19:43 and at 18:18 he had probably lost his best friend forever because he still hadn’t replied.


	12. STAHP-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen I know it’s really short and late but I’ve had writers block and i want to post this light hearted shit so I can go into the next lengthy chapter with a softer range of emotions. 
> 
> I’m also writing another Haikyuu fanfic, one is called Than you and is on my account but also a new one with manticore Oikawa which is omegaverse!

Litten: Have yall heard the new Yagami Yato audio? 

HoeHoe: woah there is a new one?

Litten: yh 

Litten: on her patreon

TuTushima: Oml what is it 

Minecraftfox: This doesn’t sound safe…

Sangwoah: OoOoOoOo what is it??

Litten: yall gonna be shooketh

WhoWho: oh gosh 

Fuckoff: why were you listening to Yagami Yato

Litten: Oikawa’s fault lol

Fuckoff: what?

Babayaga: ugh😫 Kuroo daddy 

Babayaga: fuck me 

Babayaga: hump me

Babayaga: daddy better make me choke~

Litten: 😳😳

Babayaga added Salmon to the group chat

Salmon: Matsun?

Babayaga: Makki!!!!

Babayaga: looks who it is 

Salmon: who??

Litten: im scared- 

Salmon: OMG DADDY KUROO

Salmon: I let him taste it, and now he diabetic

Salmon: I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp

Salmon: I wanna gag, I wanna choke

Salmon: I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat

Litten: 😳😳😫😂

Fuckoff: wtf 

Godzillasimp: I’m sorry my team is filled full of horny fools 

Litten: mmm I appreciate the attention! 

Salmon: Kunimi said he would 11/10 bang Kuroo 

Salmon: said he has something called big dick daddy energy 

Litten: am I actually considering having an orgy with Aoba Johsai? Yes 

Babayaga: I’d bottom for him 

Babayaga: which is the worrying thing 

Salmon: lol suffer slut 

Litten: i won’t let you top

Litten: i don’t bottom 

Litten: not that I have anything against bottoms but it just feels awkward for me? Does that even make sense? 

Salmon: yh 

Salmon: every human is different, some people like topping, some like bottoming, some like both and some like neither 

Salmon: don’t feel ashamed for what you find pleasure in

Salmon:....unless it’s illegal 

Litten: 🥺🥺

Salmon: :) 

Babayaga: I want his attention!

Salmon: fight me bitch 

Babayaga: gladly hoe

Babayaga: you’re built like string cheese 

Godzillasimp: ugh 

Salmon: so?? You’re built like fucking-

Babayaga: go on~? 

Salmon: go choke 

Salmon: so not watermelon 

Babayaga: hehe 

HoeHoe: HCKSJXJJAJDSAJXJJS

HoeHoe: FUCK I NEVER THOUGHT ID GET HARD TO OIKAWA

Litten: SAME

Litten: WHY DOES HE SOUND SO FUCKING HOT 

Salmon: woah what 

Babayaga: ??? Excuse me that’s our captain you’re talking about there

WhoWho: I’m sorry 

WhoWho: w H a T ??

Fuckoff:...^

Godzillasimp: ? 

Godzillasimp: how could shittykawa ever sound hot? 

HoeHoe: the way he moans I- 

Litten: I KNOW 

HoeHoe: FUCK 

HoeHoe: NOW I WANNA 

HoeHoe: FUCK 

Litten: SAME 

Litten: WHEN IT FIRST GOES IN THE WAY HE JUST BREAKS I- 

Litten: I WANT TO DO THAT TO SOMEONE

HoeHoe: SAME 

HoeHoe: HE MEWLS LIKE A FUCKING CAT

Litten: THE VOICE BREAK

HoeHoe: I KNOW 

Litten: THE MIND BREAK AT THE END WHERE YOU KNOW HE GIVES UP ON WINNING 

HoeHoe: I KN O W 

Babayaga: Wait what 

Babayaga: I wanna listen to this- 

Litten: https://www.patreon.com/YagamiYato/posts?filters[search_query]=Oikawa

Babayaga:..aight 

[30 mins later]

Babayaga: HOLY F U C K 

HoeHoe: RIGHT????

Litten: I WANNA RAIL HIM AGAINST A WALL 

Sangwoah: now you get me? 

Babayaga: you lucky fucker

Litten: sly fox-

HoeHoe: does he actually sound like that? 

Sangwoah: yeah but make it like 10x more submissive and proper mind break porno sounds 

HowHoe:...I’m gonna asceNd 

Litten: fuck 

Babayaga: I’m never gonna be able to look at him normally again 

Salmon: I just finished listening 

Salmon: “little cutie~”

Salmon: “I can’t cum anymore I’m out of cum”

Godzillasimp: wtf 

Litten: “sOme nerve no please no please no more no more-“

HoeHoe: ugh •////•

Babayaga: “I’ll eat you out like a goodbye” *que arse eating sounds* 

Salmon: that was hot 

HoeHoe: gotta agree with you there 

Litten: the Master 

Salmon: the m a s t e r

Litten: the panting moans in the end where his mind breaks 

Babayaga: ugh hot 

Salmon: hcksjxjjajd

Babayaga: I’m gonna see if he wants to hook up lol 

Litten: invite me! 

Salmon: I give you full permission 

HoeHoe: I would come but I’m dedicated to Akarsghis

Godzillasimp: no- 

Babayaga: no? 

Godzillasimpd: you can’t 

Babayaga: and why not? 

Godzillasimp: ….

Babayaga: weak 

Godzillasimp: but in real life he probably isn’t even good a sex 

Litten: i- 

Godzillasimp: I mean he really has all of his experience from Atsumu 

Godzillasimp: and no offence Atsumu but 

Godzillasimp: yall fucking broke a bed

Litten: i- 

Babayaga: sounds like you have g listened to the audio 

Godzillasimp: why would i? 

Babayaga: 1 Godzilla slipper (the pair that you crave) if you watch the video 

Godzillasimp:...

Godzillasimp: fine 

[30 minutes later]

Godzillasimp: F U CK


	13. Wait- when was Osamu added?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay just listen, I don’t know how or why but more unless this chapter is broken up into two main sections:  
> 1\. Aftermath of the angst two chapters ago  
> 2\. What happened with Hinata 
> 
> Please enjoy the chaos known as BoogieWoogieWoogie! ;)
> 
> P.S. MOST OF THE LINES IN THE TEXTING BUT ARE QUOTES FROM THE DUB OF THE ANIME GHOST STORIES!!! I just want yall to understand I have absolutely nothing against Muslims, I respect them and I do not wish to insult them in anyway. I have nothing against abortion, in actual fact I’m pro-choice! So pls watch the video “ghost stories but context was never an option” to see where these quotes are from!!
> 
> I hope some of you get the reference with the chat name and another character’s user name lol! :)

Oikawa woke up the next morning all curled up under his desk, neck aching like hell. His heart didn’t feel light but it felt easier to breathe which was good, he smiled softly then broke out in a fit of giggles, tonight he would go get roaring drunk with the other captains which was great! He wouldn’t be at practice so he only had to see Iwaizumi during morning practice and since he had to leave before after school practice to get on the right train, that’s good. What was this between them? Oikawa didn’t know but what he did know was that deep down he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Iwaizumi even if it meant he would suffer in silence. 

He reached for his phone. Opened up WhatsApp. Started to type. He dropped his phone. What was he doing? 

He got dressed, not bothering to do his hair at all which for once was a shock. He threw his untouched homework into his bag, shoved his crinkled sports clothes into his bag and trudged out his bedroom, for once having not done his stretches. Was it dumb that he didn’t do his stretches? Yes, it meant his knee was stiff and groany like an old printing press. He slammed open his front door and stormed down the street, usually he would run to school but fuck that, he would usually run to school but honestly he couldn’t be bothered, he’d rather just walk and turn up late instead. The truth was that his actual home was located near Sanriku Fukkō National Park, that’s where the main family house was, it was a pit of writhing, angered snakes who seemed to display no sense of guilt or sympathy, luckily for him he had grown up having to be merciless and so he had no qualms about adapting to their behaviour. His current home? On the mountain Taihaku near the Kifune shrine. He didn’t believe in Buddha, in actual fact he didn’t really believe in any form of God or Gods but if he had to choose a religion he would always lean towards the Shinto gods, especially Ryūjin, he felt like he could relate to the god on a personal level due to him spending most of his life in the water but then again maybe he was just desperate for companionship. Iwaizumi lived near him, down at the 

Oikawa paused and stared at his bike, would he need it? Probably, school would take almost two hours to walk to so he would definitely miss practice but with his bike it would take a maximum of an hour and a half unless his knee decided to die and then it would take as long as it would take for his knee to properly heal but whatever, wasn’t his problem, if it didn’t kill him then meh. 

The time it took to get from his home to Iwakasa Inari Daimyojin was forty five minutes by bike and honestly he would rather go to the shrine than school. No one was ever really there and it was always overgrown, for some reason this fact offended him, how could the humans forget a shrine? A place of worship and respect? For humans to do that must mean they had forgotten about the local god and that meant the god would still be alive but they would not be truly alive. 

He first stopped off at the Kifune shrine, it was a small shrine at the summit on the mountain and he had a beautiful view over Sendai, framed by the burning red of the autumn leaves. He pulled out some sake, dried meat and some onigiri from his bag, gently unwrapping the meat and the onigiri that he had packed the the previous night before his subsequent breakdown. It was Friday and he wouldn’t be able to give offerings to the gods until Monday but on Tuesday morning they were leaving for that training camp and so he decided to bring some of the best offerings he could think of! Maybe they could stop at a Ryūjin shrine so he could pay respects to his old friend. 

He sat down next to the shrine, making sure he didn’t sit on the path or anything of importance. He was once celebrated as a god so he knew what it was like for all those to forget you, it was like loosing your human mind, it tears even the most intelligent of gods apart but it wouldn’t kill you...it never would. 

“Oh ho ho you come visit my brothers shrine before mine?”  
He hears a smug but silky voice laugh from his left. He turned to face the person...no, God who stood at the tree line. 

“There is no shrine for you in Miyagi.”  
He grunted, staring at the dragon whose smug grin turned to a fake pout, blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Oh how you wound me! You know you could just make one right? Just take a photo of beautiful old me, slap it up on every wall, get lots of good alcohol and sexy food then simply appraise me and see me as your only god, THE only god.”  
Ryujin chortled, coming to stand right infront of Oikawa, tail wagging back and forth. His tail was incredibly long, it curled and whipped around like a vine as if he was the personification of nature itself.

“Why are you here Ryujin?”  
Oikawa turned his gaze away from the man, looking down at his phone which was buzzing like crazy. 

Litten: Mattsun looks like the type of guy who would use a ouija board to contact the dead hooker he saw on the news

Babayaga: that was one fucking time 

Babayaga: stop exposing me 

Boba: headteachers always look like lesbians 

TuTuyama: the head mistress is your mum…

Boba: Mum?!?!

Boba: no it can’t be

Asahesus: haveyouacceptedJesusasyourpersonalsaviour? 

NOya: I- 

Sangwoah: just fill @NOya ‘s hole, hole filler 

HoeHoe: one time I had a dream I was in class and the teacher was so pissed off at us she said “just turn to page whatever” then walked out of class lol 

Asahesus: JAJZJJAJZJAJAJSJ A TSUMU

WhoWho: Bokuto-san

WhoWho: that happened in real life 

Ohsamew: @SangWoah I hope to god you’re adopted 

SangWoah: ahxujahxhahahahaha :)

Salmon: one Time we had a project in English about how history affected literature by black peoples so Mattsun went to the librarian and asked “do you have any books written by black peoples?” And the librarian just went “yeh” in the deepest voice 

SangWoah: one time Samu was crying to our mum and our mum said “everything is fine, why are you still crying?” Really softly and his response was “because these pajamas are gay.”

Litten: one time Lev was trying to get the rest of the team to run with him during a particularly cold and icy morning and his song to cheer us up was “you wanna be an Air Force ranger, you wanna live a life of danger, you don’t wanna be raped by strangers” 

Ohsangew: well one time Tsumu got home and asked our foster mother what was wrong and she said “come rub my nipples” and his response was “excuse me?” 

Fuckoff: I- 

Litten: @SangWoah you okay dude?

SangWoah: yeah lol 

SangWoah: we haven’t lived with that couple in a while 

Litten changed Ohsamew to Osamove 

Osamove: yh we got out of that house on account of sexual abuse lol 

SangWoah: ah memories 

Minecraftfox: are you okay Atsumu, Osamu? 

SangWoah: yeah 

Osamove: yeah we got rid of the danger 

Litten: you killed someone- 

Godzillasimp: I- 

Babayaga: one time Oikawa was pretending to be okay and Iwa said “my bs detector is going ding!”

Babayaga: Oikawa then said “what do you mean Hajime? Everything is going fine.” 

Babayaga: then Iwa said “I can read, not well but I can read and those letters” 

Babayaga: “are”

Babayaga: “backwards” 

Babayaga: and his girlfriend gasped all dramatically 

Asahesus: the internet was a blessing by the lord Jesus to spread gods words all over the world but pedophiles and Muslims and used it to seduce children like yourself 

NOya: oml

Litten: go blow up an abortion clinic or something Asahi 

Fuckoff: I just found a cave with the name “Remember, remember, the Fifth of November  
Gunpowder treason and plot  
I see no reason why gunpowder treason  
Should ever be forgot”  
Which is kinda funky

Litten: people go in there by they didn’t come out, not unlike your sister @HoeHoe

HoeHoe: hey man let’s got of the sisters, especially since I just got off of yours 

Fuckoff: ehehe I like his sister, she’s one hot jewel 

Minecraftfox: I know that you’re gay…

You’remydad: Jesus fuck 

————————————————-

Hinata had gone home after finishing his bottle of alcohol, he sighed and slid the fusuma shut behind him, placing his shoes down softly in the genkan, groaning as he stood up straight, his knees were aching, this human body was not made to contain a Titan. 

“Can you shut the Amados please? I’ve heard there is going to be a lot of rain tonight! And bring your sister in, she is still playing outside.”  
His mother’s handwriting was rushed which probably meant she would!’t be back. He let out a loud hum of conformation and walked through the ima and out onto the engawa. He walked around the house and started shutting the amados from the inside, making sure that their cats weren’t locked outside. 

“Natsu!”  
He called out into the dark, he felt his eyes shift, he could see much easier in the dark now. Instinctively his tongue flicked out, he could taste her but it was stale so she was probably already inside. He sighed and kept on shutting the shutters, making sure they were locked into place. He went upstairs and made sure each window had its amado shut, the last thing he needed was to patch up the windows because his mother didn’t have enough time.

“Onii-chan!”  
He felt a small body collide with his leg, two arms wrapped around his waist.

“Natsu!”  
He grinned, ruffling her curls which made the young girl half squeal half groan in a mix of sleepy delight. He reached down and scooped her up in his arms. 

“Where were you onii-chan?”  
She mumbled, he ignored the way drool seeped through his t-shirt and onto his skin, it made his skin crawl but whatever. 

“I just wanted a bit of free time so I went out for a bit. I’m sorry if I worried you baby.”  
He pressed a kiss to her hair, sliding her fusuma open with his foot, mentally thanking the girl for not closing it properly when she wandered out. 

“Mhm, mama was busy so I had to get dress mself.”  
She mumbled, gripping his t-shirt as she drifted to sleep. He knelt down and placed her gently on her futon, he tried to pry his top from her tight fist but he had no such luck so instead he slipped the t-shirt off and gently placed it next to her, cooing as she pulled it closed and held it like a teddy bear. He really was blessed with the sweetest little sister! 

“Night Natsu, love you!”  
He pressed a kiss to her forehead and shut the fusuma behind him. He traced his fingers over the scarring across his chin, cheekbones and forehead, he ran his tongue flatly against the back of his labaret, sighing sadly at how dull his fangs felt in this form, sure his teeth were sharper than most humans but they were so dull compared to his old fangs that sliced through even the toughest flesh like butter. 

He walked into his bedroom and opened his window, staring into the blackness of the forest, the only downside of living in the wild? You could never tell what was lurking in those pitch black shadows. A sound of a baby crying crackled through the night, shattering the fake facade of stillness throughout the trees, he grinned a sick grin, eyes glinting dangerously as the crying got louder and louder until the thing was at the edge of the tree line, he knew the thing was looking at him, he could feel it in his bones. 

He let his tongue elongate and become forked, his teeth fell out and long fangs dripping with poison grew in their place, his eyes glowed a deep toxic green and feathers sprouted around his face, nails fell out and claws ripped into the wood, skin literally tore and fell away, showing blood stained feathers beneath. The thing stopped crying and Quetzalcoatlus could feel it leave. 

Hinata trudged to practice, yes he trudged because his bike was out of commission since there was too much debree on the roads for him to ride with Natsu safely so he had carried her and their bags down the hill and to her primary school where he dropped her off and headed to Karasuno only to remember he hadn’t brought his gym clothes with him so he half flew half run back up the hill (half flew because he had to make sure no humans saw him) then grabbed his gym bag then went back down the hill and was now dragging himself towards the gym where he could hear balls slapping wooden flooring. 

Hinata was tired, he had forgotten to take out his piercings and his body hurt from his half transformation the night before plus Yachi had been sick and Kiyoko was on a trip with her history class for the week so Yachi’s friend offered to help out except she had the biggest obsession with Kageyama and so she hated him and had been making his life hell to the point where even Tsukishima took on some of the jobs she dumped on him like setting up himself then putting everything away or cleaning the gym by himself before and after each practice. Worst of all he knew for a fact he had forgotten to slap some Make-up on his face so his stupid scars were on full display which means he had to wear a mask and hope his hair covered his forehead, he didn’t want to sit out during practice but until he could borrow some makeup off of someone he was stuffed. 

He pressed his forehead to the wall of the gym, groaning in a mix of annoyance and laziness. The cold rain water felt nice against his brow, he rubbed his cheeks against it as well, loving the way the cold water cooled down his burning head.

“Pfft, what are you doing Shouyo?”  
A loud voice full of happiness sparked in the cold post storm air.

“Mmmm Noya-saaaaaaaaaaan!”  
He groaned, slumping forward, padding towards the boy then slumping over the second year. 

“Wha? What happened to you Shouyo? Where is the sunny excitable boy we know?”  
Noya slapped his back but didn’t shove him off. 

“Mngh I left my gym stuff in my house but when I realised it was when I dropped Natsu off so I had to run back up the hill because I couldn’t take my bike with me.”  
He huffed, slowly walking behind Noya. 

“Wow, sucks to be you huh?”  
Noya laughed again and opened the door, the team turned to greet him but quickly quietened down when they saw Hinata, the air became thick with emotion. 

Hinata looked up, blearily looking around the room, Kageyama stood next to Yue, Yachi’s friend. She was clinging to his arm and in all honesty Hinata didn’t care, sure, he was supposed to be dating Kageyama but...well he didn’t know, it was like he couldn’t process the emotions. 

“Sorry I’m late everyone! I left my bag at home!”  
He beamed, gesturing the his gym bag that hung at his side but no one reacted. It was only now he noticed that everyone was glaring at him, he stiffened, he felt his flight or fight instincts kick in. 

“What’s up?”  
He tilted his head to the side, hoping the scars on his face weren’t too obvious and that they wouldn’t bring up the piercings, he wasn’t sure how he would explain them. 

“How dare you show up here?”  
Sugawara’s words cut through the air like a mace. A siren whirred in his head, what the fuck was going on? He looked across the rest of the team, they all looked at him in a similar way.

“What do you mean Suga-san? This is my club after all!”  
He grinned, teeth looking unnaturally sharp, he knew his smile didn’t reach his eyes, he could tell by the way Yamaguchi shuddered under his gaze. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about! Who do you think you are? Thinking you can just show up like this after what you’ve done?”  
Sugawara was really angry; Hinata had never seen him like that. He stared at the older boy, molton brown eyes now hollow. He let the smile drop from his face; he looked fucking pissed. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking a-about! Can y-you just tell me?”  
He begged but his face didn’t match his tone of voice, his eyes looked hollow and the worried expression he wore took awhile to make its way onto his face. 

“You slapped Yue is what you did Hinata! Are you that jealous she is getting Kageyama’s attention instead of you?”  
The grey haired male snaps sharply. Hinata snorted, a wild look crawling into his eyes. 

“Oh? Did I? When did I do this?”  
He covered his mouth, hiding his massive grin but most importantly he was swallowing the blood from his tongue which was splitting. He felt his teeth ache as they grew longer and sharper, he felt his scalp itch as feathers slowly started to grow in his bushy red hair. 

“After school!”  
Sugawara was fuming, he could practically see the steam rising from his ears. The rest of the team stayed silent but they were all heavily glaring at him. 

“After school? You mean after school when I was at Natsu’s play after school? After school when I left early to cycle to Natsu’s School after school? After school when I wasn’t on the fucking campus?”  
He felt the anger in him settle, something else washed over him, it made his throat sting like when you want to cry except he didn’t want to cry this time. 

“Stop lying!”  
Asahi’s words hurt more than Suga’s. Maybe it was the height, maybe it was the deep voice, maybe it was the fact that Nishinoya was clinging to him like Natsu usually did when their father got out of hand, maybe that’s what caused him to shake in fear. 

“Shut up.”  
He whispered, hand moving to cover his eyes to stop himself from crying. 

“Don’t speak to Asahi like that! He is a third year and deserves respect!”  
Daichi’s booming voice echoed around the gym. Hinata’s shaking got worse, he felt his heart hammer in his chest.

“Shut up.”  
He spoke louder but still not what would be considered a normal volume.

“Don’t you fucking dare tell him to shut up!”  
Ennoshita’s words felt like they were copy and pasted from a script his dad read from every night when he was drunk. 

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up!”  
Hinata shouted. He pressed the heels of both hands into his eyes while keeping the brown orbs scrunched shut. 

“God you’re so fucking annoying! Just piss off already! We don’t want you here if you’re gonna talk shit!”  
Kageyama snapped, glaring daggers into Hinata’s arms were shaking too much for it to be anger, no, his whole body was. Noya noticed the way the redhead was hyperventilating, he started panicking, looking around the room for someone who didn’t look like they wanted to commit murder. The shouting voices of the team who all were spitting words of poison were too much for Hinata, it was like his father all over again but this time with his friends...with people he thought he could trust. 

“Shut the fuck up everyone!”  
Noya snarled, eyes glaring daggers into everyone par Tsukishima who wasn’t doing anything, who hadn’t said anything, who in actual fact looked shocked to hear Hinata had apparently hit Yue. 

The team’s mouths clicked shut as everyone realised something was wrong. Noya gently placed his hand on Hinata’s shoulders, chewing on his lip nervously.

“You gotta breathe, deep breaths yeah Shouyo? You’re safe. You’re fine.”


	14. I’m sorry I don’t know anymore lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so for some reason I thought this was gonna be longer because I hadn’t realised I posted chapter 13??
> 
> Okay it’s just...I was reading fanfics about Hawks and then my brain went “no, no Godzilla, Hawks instead!” And I’ve had absolutely no motivation but hey! We got some mythology in this chapter and if you know what the creature is then I thank thee, you are amazing!! :)
> 
> Hope yall enjoy!

“I’m here because there have been reports of things prowling the forests in Miyagi. You should be careful, you’ve been human for so long you’ve forgotten the thrill of the hunt.”  
Ryūjin grinned, his mouth was large, lips from ear to ear. 

“What do you mean? What reports? I may be living as a human but you must remember I am still an animal, an apex hunter.”  
Oikawa stood up and brushed his trousers down, looking at the tall, blue haired man. On closer inspection he realised Ryūjin had a ring of red around those slit pupils, his nails were not just black but he could also see hints of red and blue when the sun hit them correctly and his blue hair was a collective of three tones, turquoise on the bits that fell around his face, dark blue underneath and a lighter, royal blue on the top. 

“It imitates the sound of a wounded animal, child or a crying baby. It attracts humans then kills them, barely eating any of them, instead it leaves the body there, a ring of blood surrounding the torn open bodies.”  
Ryūjin kept smiling but his eyes narrowed and he stared down at the town, it was evident he was displeased. 

“So it’s intelligent then? Probably not a human nor an animal, a god perhaps? Maybe a monster? The ring and the killing of the humans probably links to a sacrifice, yes?”  
Oikawa sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Did he truly want to get involved with this? Well, it’s not like he had a proper choice, ryūjin would not be here if he didn’t need help. 

“Mm you’re smart dear child! No it’s not an animal nor is it a human. I’m not sure if it is one of my kin however I’ve never heard of a ritual that consists of the tearing and eating of a human but yes, I believe this is some sort of sacrifice.”   
Ryūjin’a expression turned sower on the mention of his kin. Oikawa wasn’t entirely sure what had happened between Ryūjin and the rest of the gods but whatever it was had caused tension between Ryūjin and the other gods. 

The brunette nodded half heartedly, only half caring about what Ryūjin was talking about. 

“You’re distracted aren’t you?”  
The god pressed his index finger to the furrow of Oikawa’s brow, snorting as Oikawa’s immediate reaction was to lick the finger which made the brunette pause and flush bright red, covering his face with his hands and groaning in embarrassment. 

“Well I’ll take that as my cue to leave!”  
The blue haired man chided, laughter in his tone. Oikawa just rolled his eyes and waved goodbye to the man who walked into the woods and promptly disappeared. 

Litten: i think Oikawa would look good dressed as a nurse 

Godzillasimp: wtf 

Babayaga: why? 

Fuckoff: I- 

Litten: well I was thinking about it right and Akaashi would look good in lingerie, Kenma in a maid outfit with cat ears and a tail and Oikawa in a nurse outfit 

Litten: i couldn’t decide anything for Suga 

You’remydad: how

You’remydad: why

TuTushima: I agree!! 

Babayaga: Hanamaki in a tight cat costume 🥴🥰👉👌

Salmon: I- 

Oikawa snorted despite the worry he was in. He had gotten to school after a pretty much uneventful bike ride after his run-in with Ryūjin. Luckily he had his first four lessons free before physics and biology which were his last two lessons and so he decided to sneak off, well I say sneak but in reality he was the head of a club and so he was allowed to do this, to the club room. The reason he was in the club room is due to the short little reality slip he had while in registration that morning, he blamed it on his lack of sleep but deep down he knew better didn’t he? 

His slip was caused but a thought he hadn’t had in awhile, well rather a thought he had never had before all because he overhead one of the second you girls talk about how her grandmother had died. 

Oikawa was going to outlive everyone he knew.

It wasn’t surprising really, he was of course effectively immortal. Well, he would die if he was killed but he had enhanced healing and it took a lot to kill him but that wasn’t the point. 

He had thought about this before, way back when during Babylon and the Archimedean empire under the rule of Atraxerxes I and his bitch fits. God he hated that man with a burning passion.

Oikawa hated Atraxerxes I so much he actually grinned smugly and said “see you in hell” as the king died. Of course this dislike was not unwarranted, the way the man treated the Manticore as well as Simurgh. The bastard even went as far as to try and order his troops to kill the Huma bird but luckily his troops were not stupid and so the Huma bird blessed them with good fortune. 

Atraxerxes was the biggest bitch, probably also the prettiest bitch he had met too this day and he had met Tsukishima so that way saying something! 

The song switched, In The Woods Somewhere by Hozier started to play through his phone and the speaker connected to it. He pressed up against the plastic wall of the shower and slowly sank to the floor. 

Hot water sprayed over him, turning soft, bark brown locks dark and wet. He shut his eyes and dig his nails into the skin where his neck met his chest, he dragged his nails along to his shoulders, not caring about the blood that dropped down his skin, turning the water an odd blue colour.

Oikawa had thought about it before. Running away. Although usually he never thought about it too hard, it was nothing more than a fleeting thought but now he gave it more than a five second glance. 

He could pack a bag, buy train tickets and head to the sea. He could lie in the water under the stars again. Pure, natural, instinctive passion clenched his heart and his throat tightened. It would be so easy to just leave, his bag was packed for the trip he was supposed to be taking with the captains that he wouldn’t even have to go home. He had enough money that he wouldn’t have to worry about it. 

Why shouldn’t he do it? What was the worst that could happen? He ran into Ghidorah and the fucker tried to kill him but he hadn’t seen Ghidorah for hundreds of years….maybe he should do it. Just get away from this all and go to the sea, an island where no one would find him and just be free. He could grab his skateboard and bike and just travel through the city freely, wind brushing through his hair, whipping at his skin. 

Maybe he should do it.

No really, maybe he should.

Serious. 

He should.

“I will…”  
He spoke softly, without even realising it actually. 

“You will what?”   
A voice chided and Oikawa stilled. He had never heard this voice before.

“I will leave…”  
He spoke lowly, not with anger or with the natural sharpness that comes with being an apex predator but rather with confusion? No that wasn’t it. He hadn’t spoken like this before. 

The thing outside shuffled its feet, long claws dragging against the tiles. Oikawa could hear it wheeze, almost like a sigh but it was not human enough for the sigh to sound normal, as if it came from one person instead of a whole chorus of trumpets. 

“Are you there dear wolf?”  
He heard whatever it was flop down, well not flop, flop implies looseness but this creature didn’t fall loosely, it sat down heavy, it creaked and snapped as it sat down outside the stall. 

“I am, little lamb.”  
It’s voice was heavy, garbled. Ah, this was a GAME! He knew this game, how could he not? A beautiful two piece poem spoken rather than written, only those who knew this piece, who were alive during this time would know what the words were. 

“Are you sad?”  
He bit down on his lip, fingers twitching with perfect stillness, he wasn’t supposed to be still, he was born to hunt and yet here he was, surrounded by walls of plastic and hot water falling down on him like fake rain, like perfect rain but he hated it, this fake nature humans created for what reason? To wash? He did not get it. 

“I am.”  
It growled, rather it’s voice was growly, like it had swallowed gravel or had gone hundreds of years without anything to drink. 

“What does it feel like?”   
He pulled his knees up, one would think he was curling up to protect himself but he turned his head, pressing the side of his face against the plastic door as if to look at the creature that spoke.

“Like a long hunt with no kill.”  
Oikawa could hear it scratch its claws over the tiled floor of the bathroom. 

“I understand your loneliness, but…”  
He shuffled a bit, gently reaching out a hand under the door and brushing the creature's fingers...or what he assumed were fingers. 

“Stay away!”  
It hissed and snatched its clawed fingers away, fear in its tone.

“Hush now. Rest”  
He purred, hoping the calming tone of his voice will help calm the creature down. 

Oikawa waited for a response but nothing came. He blinked. Had the creature gone? Why hadn’t he heard it leave? Suddenly an unsettling disbelief in himself set into his bones, had that really just happened? Had he really just talked to a hallucination while naked in a shower at school instead of going to his classes?

Quite possibly actually. 

For some reason though, when he put his hand on the plastic lock his whole body shook. It didn’t feel like he was shaking because he was cold or weak but rather fear? Why was he scared though? He was Godzilla! The last of the Godzilla ok this Earth! He was the king of the monsters and so why the fuck was he scared to open the fucking door? 

Oikawa slammed his head against the plastic, took a minute to breathe then unlocked the door and swung it open. 

Something cold and wet squelched as it fell on his shoulder. He could feel something ooze under the pressure of his foot.

He turned to his right and proceeded to throw up his breakfast.


	15. Kita: *is model student*, Kita: i literally just want to be fucked so hard someone will rearrange my organs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written over multiple days so i dont even know. I kno its random but yall need to understand that the convo after Oikawa meets the new dude is a real life convo i had with my friends. 
> 
> P.s. context: in my school we have a dt (design technology) teacher called Mark Smith and my friends go to the same school as I do so meh 
> 
> P.s.s. Kuroo literally fits one of my friends so well, the person i used is a horny mess who is so fuckin intelligent it genuinely scares me but will cry cause she cant open a packet of instant noodles in the boarding house but will be to uni level bio/chem in her free time for fun so ya know, big mood 
> 
> P.s.s.s. Lol so this chapter is longer and i inserted some pictures from the real convo i had to make sense, now i know Kita would never act like this canonly but i cant seem to get horny Kita out of my head and it’ll make sense later cause i know is earlier chapters I’ve said that he doesn’t really actually want sex that often so read the notes at the end for context 
> 
> I hope yall enjoy!! :)

Sadly, what he had stood on was a bottle of shampoo and the thing that had fallen on his shoulder was the bath mat but he did however throw up. 

Throwing up wasn’t good.

Why was he throwing up?

His stomach could digest almost all types of foods!

He hadn’t eaten anything weird.

Fuck.

Oikawa stumbled out of the shower area and to his locker, swinging it open and getting changed messily into his clothes. He didn’t notice the scales that were covering his shoulder blades, barely there. He sat down and grabbed his phone, surprised to see people texting on a dead group chat.

  
  


DEAD DADDIES ARE STILL DADDIES

Minecraftfox: so hi 

Minecraftfox: I 

Minecraftfox: I need yer help 

Litten: huh?

Litten: Kita actually asking for help instead of being a shimmering being we all pray too? 

Litten: What is this blasphemy? 

HoeHoe: OyaOya? 

HoeHoe: Kita 

HoeHoe: Kita isnt god? 

You’remydad: why didn’t you just text boogiwoogiewoogie instead of this dead arse chat? 

Minecraftfox: I’m sorry 

OiOikawa: sksksks he obviously needs our help DON’T be bitches about it you fuck nugget looking roaches 

Snek: yall fake whatsup Kita?

Coochie: what’s wrong with y’all’s I swear 

T-Tsukawauwu: ugh Cmon guys 

OiOikawa: guys I’m listening to symphonicsuite (Aot), part 1-1st: 0Sk

Litten: Stop listening to attack on Titan season 3 soundtrack you plastic bitch 

OiOikawa: die

Litten: no u 

Minecraftfox: anyways 

Minecraftfox: Atsumu asked me why I didn’t just go home 

Minecraftfox: because I’ve been staying with him for the past couple of days

Minecraftfox: and I said I was going to and if he wanted me to leave he could just ask because I don’t want to be a bother 

Minecraftfox: and I’ve been crying in the spare room for the past two hours hahahaha

OiOikawa: holy shit 

OiOikawa: are you alright? 

Minecraftfox: I don’t even know anymore lol 

Minecraftfox: I’m pretty sure I’m just destined to end up being a burden for my whole life! 

OiOikawa: you’re not a burden Kita…

You’remydad: you’re the least burdening person I’ve ever met 

Litten: yh 

HoeHoe: you always clean up and are kind and caring and supper smart so you’re not a burden 

HoeHoe: so what if you come with some baggage? 

HoeHoe: who doesn’t 

HoeHoe: and if Atsumu can’t appreciate that then he ain’t worth your time 

Litten: exactly! 

Snek: did I just watch Bokuto say something really caring? 

[Minecraftfox sent a voice message]

“I- thank you guys. Oh gosh ya guys shouldn’t have ta hear me cry I’m so sorry it’s just tha’ I was too worn out ta type. I’m scared ta say anything ta him because when I did with my ex he would just laugh at me an’ tell me ta get over it an’ while I know Atsumu isn’t like tha’ I still worry ya know? Atsumu is always nice ta me and apologises when he shouts an’ anything similar but fer some stupid reason tha’ fear is still there and I don’t wanna tell him how I feel only fer him ta shout at me an’ kick me out ya know?”

Kita bumbled on, it was obvious he was crying due to the sniffling and the ruffling sounds of fabric as Kita lifted his arms and wiped at supposedly his eyes. 

Litten: don’t worry Kita I’m sure he won’t shout at you 

Litten: Atsumu’s dumb but luckily not that dumb 

Litten: and if he is then as your captain friendship cult members we shall stab him 

HoeHoe: yh! 

Minecraftfox: haha thank you guys :)

Minecraftfox: I’ll take a moment to freshen up then I’ll go talk to him 

OiOikawa: good luck 

You’remydad: break a leg 

UshiUshi: congratulations 

  
  


BoogieWoogieWoogie 

NOya: I’m booooooooored ;~; 

OiOikawa: then let’s do something cause I’m bored as well

Fuckoff: what should we do then 

WhoWho: kenma? 

Fuckoff: what 

WhoWho: you’re here? 

Fuckoff: I don’t wanna go to class so yh 

ReDDeEr: mood 

  
  


Fuckoff added Lesha to BoogieWoogieWoogie 

  
  


Lesha: hello everyone :)

Fuckoff: sorry he was bugging me to add him 

OiOikawa: who? 

Fuckoff: Lev 

Fuckoff: the annoying whiny tall mutant bitch from my team 

Fuckoff: the rly dumb one 

Lesha: how about you shut the fuck up before I rip your eyeballs out and shove them down your throat so you can watch as I tear your fucking carcass open and then coat you in honey and leave your barely alive corpse out, chained to a branch by your wrists so your shoulders dislocate so a bear fucking comes and eats you hmmm? :) 

OiOikawa: fuck okay that was hot 

Fuckoff: Lev 

Fuckoff: I- 

Lesha: you’re what? Sorry? Don’t force yourself too hard honey or you’ll bite your tongue off 

ReDDeEr: *nuzzles your bulgie wulgie XD* Rawr ;) 

Lesha: are you alright sir?

ReDDeEr: I’m a little messed up 

Lesha: oh 

Lesha: aight

SangWoah: totally random question but what’s the biggest bomb we as humans could make 

Litten: the Tsar Bomba

Litten: also known as the King of bombs, byname if RDS-220 and also called Big Ivan, Soviet thermonuclear bomb and it was detonated over Novaya Zemlya which is an island in the Artic ocean. It was tested on October 30th 1961 and it is the largest nuclear weapon ever set off and it has produced the most powerful human made explosion ever recorded 

OiOikawa: however in theory the largest and most deadliest bomb we could create is a black hole bomb actually so fuck you Kuroo 

Litten: yeah well he didn’t say in theory now did he 

Lesha: I wanna know about the black whole bomb! 

OiOikawa: okay so 

OiOikawa: your gonna need some context 

OiOikawa: pretty much black holes devour everything and add our energy to their own, they will never give back this energy however there is a cheat code in the universe which we can use 

OiOikawa: we can use this code as a way of powering civilisations until the death of everything and creating the biggest bomb in the whole fucking universe

OiOikawa: you see black holes are spinning, when really massive stars die their cores collapse under their own gravity into black holes this means something very big becomes very small, literally the smallest anything can be in this universe 

OiOikawa: but these stars were rotating and a fundamental property of our universe is that things that are spinning obviously don’t want to stop spinning, this is called angular momentum 

OiOikawa: radius = R, mass = M, speed = V % linear momentum x perpendicular = L 

OiOikawa: this angular momentum can’t go away. A big thing that spins and becomes smaller, spins faster so as the core of a star collapses, it momentum makes it spin faster and faster and faster until it collapses into a black hole 

OiOikawa: and the black hole, because the star’s core’s velocity has increased to such high extents that the black hole keeps on spinning inconceivably fast 

OiOikawa: but just like non spinning black holes, black holes have an event horizon and a singularity at their core where all the mass is concentrated, the singularity is usually described as a single infinitely small point with no surface area but points can’t rotate so a rotating singularity can’t be a point 

OiOikawa: instead in a spinning black hole it’s a RINGularity, a ringularity is a ring with a thickness of zero and no surface, spinning extremely fast, containing all the mass of the black hole, the black hole is spinning so fast that it morphs space and time itself, it quite literally drags space with it 

OiOikawa: this creates a really weird and new region of space time called the ergosphere, which envelops the black hole. Think of it like, if time and space are completely broken inside the event horizon, then they’re only half broken inside the ergosphere, in the ergosphere nothing makes sense 

OiOikawa: while it is possibly to enter and leave it, it’s probably not all that great of an experience, imagine it like falling into a static black whole is like swimming and suddenly sliding down a hole while being inside the ergosphere of a spinning black hole is like spiralling down a deadly drain or world pool

OiOikawa: the black girl transfers its own kinetic energy in the form of rotation to everything that enters the ergosphere. You would need to be moving faster than the speed of light just to stand still and of course that’s impossible

OiOikawa: okay so now the cheat code 

SangWoah: holy shit I wanted a message like Kuroo’s now a whole essay 

Lesha: shut it this is interesting

OiOikawa: :) 

OiOikawa: so ya know the supermassive black hole at the centre of the universe? We could steal as much energy from it as every single star in the Milky Way emits in a billion years combined isn’t that fucking amazing? 

OiOikawa: if we launched a rocket into the ergosphere, we could make a trade with it. This is called the Penrose Process. We give it some mass energy and it gives us some of its rotational energy. Normally when you fire a rocket you exchange chemical energy for kinetic energy, this is like pushing yourself in a pool but if you fire a rocket into the ergosphere it would be like pushing yourself forward in a wave pool. The rotational energy of the waves give you as much stronger boost than you could get just by pushing yourself 

OiOikawa: when you leave the ergosphere you leave it with much more energy than when you entered, the black hole gives you a tiny bit of its rotational energy to you and slows down a bit 

OiOikawa: now down to the bomb 

OiOikawa: there is an even better way to get energy from a black hole and oddly enough it builds the biggest bomb any living thing could ever hope to build

OiOikawa: we would only need two things to build a black hole bomb, a fast spinning black whole and a mirror. This is similar to a Dyson sphere which is a mega structure that harvests the energy of an entire star. If we made the mirror 10 centimetres thick, the metal of a big asteroid would probably be enough material for a black hole with the mass of our sun. Once the mirror is in place all we would have to do is shoot electromagnetic waves at the black hole, this would be like throwing a ball at a wall and it coming back faster than a bullet 

OiOikawa: the waves hit the black hole at speed, a small proportion of the waves falls past the event horizon to disappear forever but a much larger amount sloshes through the ergosphere, where the black hole forces some of its rotational energy on the electromagnetic waves and amplifies them. They bow begin superradiant scattering, which are fancy science words meaning “bouncing around between mirror and black hole and getting stronger.” 

OiOikawa: every time they go around, they are getting exponentially stronger and my opening the windows in the mirror we can extract the energy from the waves as fast as they grow and we could use this to power civilisation for thousands of years or we could blow it up because if these waves aren’t released they take more and more energy from the black hole until the mirror shatters, a supermassive black hole would release as much energy as a supernova making the explosion the biggest and deadliest one a living being could ever make 

Lesha: what’s an electromagnetic wave? 

Lesha: I think I might know what it is but I’m not sure 

OiOikawa: err I think it’s электромагнитные волны in Russian, sorry if it’s not correct it’s google translate lol

Lesha: no no I know what those are thank you! I didn’t realise that was the Japanese spelling thank you! 

Litten: woah what you’re smart? You know what electromagnetic waves are? 

Lesha: yh but I have to translate most things in my head and it’s really annoying 

OiOikawa: mega oof 

OiOikawa: I kinda get what you mean? When I was younger I spoke another language although it was very outdated at the time so I suppose it isn’t as bad as your situation 

OiOikawa: I’m sorry that made me sound like a dick 

Lesha: no no I get what you’re trying to say 

Lesha: what language did you speak? 

OiOikawa: well there were two actually, ancient Persian and a language my parents created called Geseryian 

Lesha: holy shit that’s smart people 

OiOikawa: yeah except my Japanese and English was so bad I couldn’t properly speak it for a long time, I was in the same year as Iwa-chan but still had to go to tutors for desdelementary school level Japanese and English 

Lesha: oof

OiOikawa: I mean technically they weren’t even my parents, just foster family but I stayed with them for about 3 years, by the time I left I was so used to speaking these languages they were all I spoke in 

Lesha: yeah same, apparently my biological father was Japanese but I don’t know, the orphanage say I could speak both nursery level Russian and Japanese but I couldn’t write Hiragana nor Kanji and I forgot all of it. By the time I was adopted by a Japanese person and I came here I completely forgot all of it so I’ve had to re-learn but that was about a year or so ago so I’m still struggling in Japanese lol

OiOikawa: but you speak it so well? 

Lesha: ✨google translate✨ my dear friend 

OiOikawa: ohhh ok that makes sense 

HoeHoe: yall were adopted as well??? 

OiOikawa: yes~

Lesha: да 

HoeHoe: I’m gonna assume that means yes! 

Lesha: it does lol 

Lesha: idk y but I still type да and нет

HoeHoe: what does the second word mean? 

Lesha: no 

HoeHoe: ;~; sorry for asking 

Lesha: what? Нет means “no” you dumbarse 

HoeHoe: ohhh lol sorry 

Lesha: it’s fine 

  
  


Oikawa’s head snapped up when he felt someone sit next to him on the bench where had placed himself. He turned to look at the person who sat next to him, a pale boy with blue hair, hair so blue it was the shade of admiral blue but the roots were a dark Prussian blue and the tips were a lighter cobalt blue, Oikawa genuinely wasn’t sure if the kid’s hair was naturally like that. The boy wasn’t wearing a school uniform either, or maybe he was underneath the black hoodie that looked so well worn it almost looked like it had been made to look like that. 

“I have a question for you.”

The boy mumbled, playing with his fingers that weren’t really fingers were they? The boy after all wasn’t really a boy was he? Not that Oikawa cared, he was an animal after all, he need not worry himself with the fleeting thoughts of humans.

“I have a question for you as well.”

Oikawa knew he should probably ask the being how they got into the changing room but he wasn’t human so it didn’t matter, the being wasn’t human so it didn’t matter. 

“You ask first.”

Zhey whispered almost like a prayer and Oikawa grinned, wide and manically as if he had been told a juicy secret.

“Sure, what are you? What’s your name?”

He licked his lips, staring at the being before him as if zhey were prey. 

“I am...my name is Arariel and what I am is something you would not understand.”

Zhey looked at him, thick blue hair covered zheir eyes and Oikawa frowned as if finding out his favourite bakery didn’t have the milk bread he wanted. 

“I asked you a question though, shouldn’t you answer it properly and not shrug it off without trying?” 

Perhaps his question had come across rude but what did he care? Why should he care? He was not human therefore he need not worry himself over such trivial matters akin to insulting someone.

“I suppose you’re right.”

The being next to him then stood up, Oikawa lazily followed him with his eyes. He blinked, if anyone looked at him they would run away or probably shout in fear, he had shut his third eyelid, now his eyes just looked a milky white with hints of red and pink where his veins stretched out like lichtenberg figures. For whatever reason he felt the sudden primal instinct to shut his third eyelid which acted in a way goggles or sunglasses did he supposed. 

He was hit with a tidal wave of noise, it sounded like he was surrounded by rabbits. The air shifted. His own heartbeat stuttered. The air around him felt cleaner, lighter, like he was floating at point Nemo or something. His ears were then filled with the sound of feathers, the sound was akin to thick silk moving around but much more natural. It was the most natural sound he had ever heard. All that he could think of was just white, like laying on your back and looking up at the clouds that stood grand and tall with beams of light like spears, choruses of “Hosanna” and “Osanna” that you could faintly hear in the wind.

And as soon as that beautiful tranquility came it was torn away. His skin burnt and blistered, those very once stunning spears or light felt like they were slicing at any bit of flesh they could find. The air went from smelling clean and pure to smelling like ozone, fuck, it felt like ozone as well. His lungs felt like they were being shredded and his throat burnt as if he had swallowed burning feathers. The white light that had been soft and inviting merely seconds ago suddenly felt more like walking into a pit of vipers, it was too much, he had to close his first and second eyelids as well then raise his hands to shield his eyes from that blinding, burning, merciless light.

As he raised his hands his arm touches something soft, so soft he might as well have been brushing his skin against a hamster pup, his instincts screamed louder than the screeching of whatever the fuck was standing infront of him. He barely had enough time to force his scales through his skin, creating a thick protective barrier against the sudden slicing sharpness of the object he had touched.

A sound like an orchestra full of string players suddenly having the hair on their bows break and then everything stopped. By everything he meant everything, he felt like the whole entire world had stopped, every creature had stopped.

And like a computer restarting everything went back to normal and for some reason Oikawa felt like wailing. 

  
  
  


DEAD DADDIES ARE STILL DADDIES

OiOikawa: Who needs people like cardi B when you could have Crywank

OiOikawa: Evidence to support my claim:

OiOikawa: 

HoeHoe: oh i though u meant an actual crywank

OiOikawa: 

HoeHoe: and i was like uhh sure but i dont get the relation of cardi and crywanks accept waps

OiOikawa: lol

HoeHoe: mark smith😍

OiOikawa: Deep down we are all spiritually mark smith

HoeHoe: we are

HoeHoe: get ur dt heads on😋

OiOikawa: 

OiOikawa: 

OiOikawa: exactly 

OiOikawa: Every song in this album makes me feel the same way that one tumblr post about the mushroom does

OiOikawa: 

OiOikawa: this

OiOikawa: Also makes me feel the same way that one song by Hosier along the lines of In The Woods Somewhere

OiOikawa: Also Everywhere At The End Of Time

OiOikawa: all same energy 

OiOikawa: Like empty motorways

OiOikawa: parallel universe kinda feels 

OiOikawa: Cryptic kinda feels where everything is okay, not normal because the shadows look fuzzier than normal and your doctor wont stop smiling and you cant remember why you were at the doctors in the first place, actually you cant remember how you got here in the first place but the local pizza place is great and even if you aren’t aloud to look at the blinking light sin the night sky its okay because your’re 98% sure you’re safe

OiOikawa: Except the creatures in the corner of your eyes are staying there longer, slowly getting closer and for some reason everything feels slightly out of place like someone broke into your house and moved all your furniture two centimetres to the left and you’re not used to it, you keep stubbing your toes and banging your hips against your furniture but nothings looks out of place and its all your furniture and you know its your furniture but that doesn’t explain why you hear the walls creaking as if they are crying and your toaster always burns your toast even if you haven’t turned it on but that’s normal right?....right?

OiOikawa: So I’ve either weirded you out enough to not reply or yall gong through some mental sort of crisis cause I ain’t typing while reading sideways for fun Süd-

OiOikawa: Do I need to find you in your sleep then put your bodies somewhere surrounded by mushrooms?

Minecraftfox: Nah

Minecraftfox: I was just having a bit of a breakdown

Minecraftfox: feel better now the

Minecraftfox: 

Minecraftfox: Drew you this seggsy mushroom

Minecraftfox: Could a depressed person do this?

Minecraftfox: *if you get this reference I will do something good for you

OiOikawa: Of course i get the reference

OiOikawa: And no a depressed person couldn’t do that so evidence shows that if you are depressed you are exceeding the bounds of human limits

OiOikawa: Therefore implying you must be a six winged, seven hearts holy being surrounded by eyes and obviously on fire, towering over the mortals of this realm

OiOikawa: Which means every time you enter a room/talk to someone you obviously have to state “be not afraid!”

OiOikawa: 

OiOikawa: ....so like...I...well I mean im interested in them but then again why is instagram tryna tell me about London and death, seems sus, obviously nothing to do with me searching up Unlonden

Litten: i always pull up w some barbie dollz thick in the thighs i said we looking for some brain where the wizard of oz last * was a dope dealer hell of a guy he said the pussy top 5 dead or alive

Minecraftfox: Bro guess what ad got target to me?

Minecraftfox: 

  
  


BoogieWoogieWoogie

Minecraftfox: Why the fuck am I getting a request for an anti-porn blog?

Liiten: no way

Minecraftfox: Yep got that about 2 days ago

Minecraftfox: i mean me of all people really?

Minecraftfox: im literally so horny its not even funny 

Minecraftfox: I literally just want someone to slam me against a dumpster and fuck me raw

Minecraftfox: is that so hard to ask for?

Minecraftfox: and cause i can’t get a good old dicking with a dick big enough to leave a stomach bulge 

Minecraftfox: im left with porn 

OiOikawa: UHGUWHEDHBWEDBCU

OiOikawa: KITA NOOOOO OMFG 

OiOikawa: WRONG FUCKIN GROUP CHAT 

Sangwoah: i-

[Minecraftfox has gone offline]

Babayaga: nOOO 😭😭😂

Salmon: OMFG NO NOT KITA-

You’remydad: look how silly this is

Salmon: oh

Babayaga: oh-

Salmon: oh-

Babayaga: oh-

[Minecraftfox is online]

Salmon: OHHHHH

Babayaga: OHHHHH

[Minecraftfox is offline]

Litten: MRAWAHAHAHAH

Salmon: Kita dont leave!

Babayaga: Kita dont- 

[Minecraftfox is online]

Salmon: KITAAAAAAA

Babayaga: WE LOVE YOUUUUU

Minecraftfox: no im fuckin done

Minecraftfox: im FUCKIN DONE 

Salmon: no you’re not 😭😂😂

Minecraftfox: THIS IS BULLSHIT 

HoeHoe: im gonna-

Minecraftfox: THIS IS F U C K I N B U L L S H I T

Litten: BHWHAHWHAHAHAHA

Babayaga : “Minecraftfox: im literally so horny its not even funny 

Minecraftfox: I literally just want someone to slam me against a dumpster and fuck me raw

Minecraftfox: is that so hard to ask for?

Minecraftfox: and cause i can’t get a good old dicking with a dick big enough to leave a stomach bulge” I CANT I CANT OMFG HAHAHHAHW

Minecraftfox: W H A T I S T H I S 

Salmon: HGHDGHHWGHEDIWE

Minecraftfox: W H A T I S M Y L I F E???????

Litten: I CANT DO IT BRO

HoeHoe: I CANT EITHER   
  
  
  


DEAD DADDIES ARE STILL DADDIES

OiOikawa: I’m so glad im finally getting the chaotic group chat i wanted

OiOikawa: actually no I needed it 

Minecraftfox: you’re welcome kiddo 

OiOikawa: Thwank youwu dwaddy 👉🏻👈🏻🥺🥺😩😩

Minecraftfox: Never fucking call me that ever again

OiOikawa: :)

Minecraftfox: For u I’m a whore and a babs

Minecraftfox: For other boys I’m either bitch or daddy

Litten: sadly I’m a whore and bitch for everyone

Litten: but hey I get to ruin people’s lives 🤠

OiOikawa: Why not dwaddy dwont youwu appweciate howo fwucking hawd it is uwu to type appweciate when youwu dwont even know howo two spwell appweciate in the fwist pwace Uwe 👉🏻👈🏻🥺🥺

OiOikawa: Aggressive bottom furry text is my new mood

Minecraftfox: You continue like this and I will manifest that you will lose ur iPad pen and Obon will shit either in ur room or in hand hand

Minecraftfox: I wont hesitate bitch 

Litten: honestly bottom furry texts are funnier than most of the comedians out there

Minecraftfox: also true 

OiOikawa: Wait Kita u sayin if i call you that again you’ll come see me? 

Minecraftfox: no

Minecraftfox: no ill manifest it will happen

Minecraftfox: And also steel ur kneecaps

Minecraftfox: also we’re seeing each other tonight so like??

OiOikawa: You can have my right kneecap for free cause something keeps on popping out of place and its scabby and bruised and hurts like a bitch after I’ve been sitting in a cold room

OiOikawa: You honestly wouldn’t get much use out of it 

Litten: Oi if you have extra knee caps I want some 

Litten: i can use them 

Litten: Night replace my fucked one

Litten: *might 

OiOikawa: Well you cant take me left one

OiOikawa: It’s the only things that does hurt on my left side

OiOikawa: you can however have my ankles 

Minecraftfox: Bitch imma steal ur ankles too 

Minecraftfox: so you cant play volleyball 

Minecraftfox: so yeah

Minecraftfox: dont tempt me 

Minecraftfox: When I would be breaking in to steal them I will give u a kiss on the forehead the 

OiOikawa: must be a real threat to you and Inarizaki then huh?

Minecraftfox: of course you are an incredible setter 

OiOikawa: Jokes on you my team doesn’t believe we will make it to nationals so me playing against Inarizaki will mostly likely never happen so suck on that slut

Minecraftfox: eh ill steal em anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kita more unless does experience sexual attraction and does get horny but the idea of actually initiating it and doing it with someone makes him uncomfy so instead he’d rather have a one night stand from some unknown guy/girl in a bar, fuck in an alleyway then never talk to each other again as he feels like he can breathe then instead of fucking but knowing that person cause he feels self-conscious but also he gets worried it’d be awkward.!


End file.
